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Warning.  This blog is full of poo.

Three weeks ago, I discovered that some critter had been sneaking into my house and using my downstairs shower stall as a toilet.  You can only imagine how happy that made me.  

Anyway, so there I was, standing in the downstairs bathroom, glaring at several piles of poo.  Since I live alone, there was no one I could pawn the task off onto.  Although I don't use that shower, it is the guest shower, and since my house is on the market, it had to be handled.  

I need to admit that I am crap adverse.  I never had kids, so I never adapted to changing diapers and dealing with the poo that had accumulated therein.  I don't have pets, so I never had to pick up their warm droppings to keep the streets clean.  If I'm in a public toilet and there is leftover doo, I don't.  My toilets flush 9,999 times out of 10,000, so I never had to deal with overflows.  Stray poop makes me want to vomit, which is not a good thing because seeing or smelling puke makes me puke.  You're getting my drift by now, aren't you?

I gathered the tools I suspected I would need – a knife and plastic bag to scrape into, a bucket, bleach, Lysol and most importantly, rubber gloves.  Changed into my most disgusting clothes, I headed down to conquer the crap.  Squatting in the shower stall, hands clad in yellow rubber, I tried to scrape the turd from the cement floor.  It was stuck, and my gag reflex began to kick in.  I backed out of the shower quickly, needing a plan B.  I found an old push broom, and returned to the scene of the crap.  Running the water, I tried to loosen the doo, and then I poured a mix of bleach and water onto the piles.  Trusty broom in hand, I began to clean.  Fifteen minutes later, half a bottle of bleach and half a bottle of Lysol later, my shower sparkled.

Next up, figuring out the source of the invasion.  I scouted the outside of my house.  The place where the squirrels had chewed their way in two years ago remained secure.  But the two pipe openings on the other side of the house lead to the downstairs bathroom, and they no longer had caps on them.  Back into the house, I checked the sauna (doesn't work, never has).  There, underneath the bench was a pipe. The source of the incursion!  Grabbing my trusty staple gun and some wire mesh, I returned to the outside of the house and got busy.  Stapled about forty staples into the wire to make sure nothing would ever pull it off.  

Mission accomplished.  Isn't it amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it?  Two weeks later, my house remains free of any unexplained poo.  I guess sometimes life can be pleasantly crap free.


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 6, 2008
    • Ah, if only we could all find such sensible solutions to the crap in our lives.

      Plus, you’ve ventured into Integrated Pest Management which encourages dealing with unwanted critter visitors in non-chemical (excluding the bleach clean-up, that is), non-poisonous ways. Way to go!

      Here’s hoping your next two weeks are crap-free, too! ;)

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laurenj wrote Oct 6, 2008
    • I’ve discovered when dealing with crap, environmentally sound products take a back seat :)

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