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(I am sandwiched between my beautiful girls)  

Look at my daughters...That's Kellie, 24, to the left and to the right, Cassie, newly 21.  Aren't they beautiful?  Aren't they adorable?  Don't they look like the sweetest things on earth?

Don't let their looks deceive you!  Daughters can be the most precious gifts on earth to their mothers, but they can also be demons in disguise, especially when they are teenagers.

The good news is that because they are now in their 20's, they are pure pleasure to be with.  They're smart, funny, engaging and our relationship is close and intimate.  Everything you would want when having daughters.  I also am most privileged to have 2 sons, also in their 20's.  I am very close to them as well but this post is not about them.

Having four teenagers at once meant there were four totaled cars, four underage alcohol drinking tickets (classes with parents were mandatory) and various deeds of mischief including trying to superglue the front doors of the local high school (I thought this was amusing and clever, but it was a felony).

Back to my girls.  As sisters, they have always been close.   When they come home for holidays, they share a room and a double bed.  Checking in on them in the middle of the night, they lay there asleep, their blond hair spread out across the pillows like long whiskers...they look like kittens.

But I remember back in the day.  Back in the white knuckled parental nights of the dreaded teenage years.  Back in the day long before they all emptied the nest and the house became peaceful and quiet.

One night stands out more than others.  It's 2:00 AM and husband and I are sound asleep.  Being a mother, I wake up with a start to the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.  I get up and look out the window.  Of course, a taxi.  My wise girls know not to drink and drive.  Problem is they are well known to ALL the Boulder taxi drivers.  

"Oh that was Joe who drove us home.  We love Joe!  Joe loves us!"  

Yeah, I bet Joe does.

Okay, they're alive.  They're breathing.  Back to bed.  

The front door bursts open followed with screeching Paris Hilton-like voices...voices that make the sound of mating cats seem pleasant.  WTH?  As I make my way downstairs, next came the sound of breaking glass.  

Fire, spit and piss were flying out of these petite girls' mouths.  They had the throwing arm of CY Young as glasses were suddenly airborne, vulnerable to gravity and having close encounters with the hardwood floors.

I was looking for the nearest exorcist.  Who were these spawns of Satan and how did they end up in my kitchen?

The broken glass gave way to attempts at slapping, hair pulling, and dragging to the ground.  Alcohol is such a culprit.  

Mustering every family therapist skill I could think of, I matched their tones and screamed, "TAKE IT OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!" as I was racing down the stairs.

The house was eerily empty.  They had beat me to the punch.

Grabbing a flashlight, I wandered out into the cold night.  We live on a couple of acres and they were nowhere in sight.  Suddenly the flashlight hit the hammock where a large quilt containing suspicious shapes the size of huddled teenage girls was moving about.  As I approached, I could hear the girls giggling and laughing with glee.

Oh how cute!  They were playing hide and seek.  I had sudden urges to bitch slap them.

Hypothermia acted as peacemaker and we all ran back to the house in a flash.

Now, they are home visiting and I read them this story last night giggling and laughing with glee the whole time.  They didn't see the humor.  "Mom, if you post that, we'll expose your most private of all secrets so fast you won't know what hit you!  You have such a terrible memory!  We never acted like that!"

I reminded them that excessive use of alcohol kills brain cells.  They're now not talking to me.  The house is once again peaceful and quiet.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • I think I could switch the names of your daughters for mine Megan and Kylie and the story could be the same.
      Daughters are a blessing, daughters are a blessing, daughters are a blessing!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robinesque wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • What a funny story - NOOOW - right?
      Hey, I was cracking up!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • I wanted a dozen kids... until I had *one*.

      And I got a boy. Lucky me, if this story is any indicator. estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Loved this story.

      I have three daughters, luckily not all teens at once.  One is 26, one 21 and the 16 year old who lives with her father.  Daughters are the greatest blessing—after they‘re done being teenagers!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • I have one of each a 21 year old boy and a 19 year old girl.  I love my daughter, I really really do! LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wittymom wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • My 11 year old daughter is my best friend. I love that little lady.  Just hearing the teen years make me nervous, but thanks for assuring me that they eventually come out of if.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • Hey, Mary.
      Your daughters are DARLING little demons! My oldest is 28, my precious “Cheer Bear” who gave me fits when she was 17-19. She’s one of my very best friends. Her little sister turns 20 next month, and I’m holding on to hope that she’ll turn out at least as amazing as her big sister...she’s got so much potential. It’s been longer and much worse with her. Right now we‘re not talking after a huge blow-up over her irresponsibility. Thanks for your story, and I’m glad my girls are very good friends. I look forward to the day when we can all 3 be BFF’s. Here they are along with me, Dad and big brother.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Jan 15, 2009
    • I can soooo relate.

      I actually cried when I heard myself say to one of my daughters:  

      “I can’t wait until you are married with a child“, I sounded exactly like my  mother.tongue out

      This is when you know......you’ve arrived.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mb03 wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Too funny!  I’m FLOFL and this is only because I’m trying not to cry.  I have a beautiful daughter who is 7 now. She is a sweet angle but I remember my teenage years and am scared to death that the wrath of my behaviors will come back to bite me in the butt.  Don’t get me wrong I was very compliant (being the good little Catholic girl that I was) but I was moody as all hell.  I hope that it skips a generation and I will be spared the daggers in the heart.  What are the possibilities?
      Thanks for the laugh.
      LOL,
      Maribeth



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mb03 wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Oppss- just realized I spelled “angel” wrong...  I think I need my coffee! happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • If nothing else, your knees will be bloody from praying! I keep telling myself (thankfully I’ve come out on the other side with Erin), “God’s not finished with her yet, God’s not finished with her yet!” Prayers and support of friends really gets us through. So, “God, PLEASE help all of us be the best possible mothers to our children and end up as close friends when they become adults. AMEN!”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Pamela Scott wrote Jan 21, 2009
    • cute story I have sons and know exactly what you are speaking of  I remember those days, oh the memories, it is nice to have quiet now that mine are 24 and 25 but sometimes i miss all the shananigans....lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Jan 21, 2009
    • Speaking of brothers, this is just about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen...Hope it works.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote Jan 25, 2009
    • Thanks to all of you who made comments and could relate.

      And sorry if I scared any of you!  I’m sure your children will behave much better than mine.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Foxfire5822 wrote Apr 6, 2009
    • My daughter is 17 now so I’m living this!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      La Shawn Henderson wrote May 13, 2009
    • Wow someone who speaks my language when it comes to me 18 year old daughter. I’m happy to know there is light at the end of the tunnel



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