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Well, yesterday a friend of mine took my children and i shopping to get clothes! He came to me last Sunday after Church and told me he would love to do this, and i felt the need to try and talk him out of it! lol No, nothing i said talked him out of it..

So yesterday, i decided to let the children go to school 1/2 a day, and off to shoping we went... and im NOT talking about going to walmart.. TO THE MALL! I told him we could go to the outlet mall because its the same storesd as the Mall, just better prices!

Josh is an AMAIZING young man, very talented, and a great friend!

Anyway, i was more focused on getting the children things, and not really wanting to get me anything.. gosh, things are expensive! what floored me was how he didn’t bat an eye at the prices of things!

im looking at pricetags, and the children are saying, ” momita, this is too expensive.. im not going to get it. ” and Josh saying.. you don’t need to worry about the pricetag! if thats what you want, thats what we are getting!

well, Josh looked at me, and said, ok Linni, what about you? you need things right? lol i just tryied my best to not get anything.. i really was wanting just my children to get stuff..

anyway, we went Lane Bryant.. pretty things in there... pretty expensive too.. but you will be happy to know that i got a pair of jeans, a pair of dress pants, 2 bras ( which to my disbelief i was measured for and im in a 48DDD, to which i almost hit the floor!) and they are WIRELESS! woooooo hooooo! lol and to really pretty tops that my daughter picked out..and as im modeling the outfits, they are all.. ” oh you look so pretty! ”

Now, the reason for this blog.. as i was trying on these clothes, i look in the mirror, and was devistated at what i seen! what the hell happened to me? i look terrible! no amount of makeup, or nice clothing can change this..

I have to change it.. MY GOSH! no wonder the childrens friends always refer to me as fat! how could i have let this happen? i know 60 pounds is from meds..  

when i realized that it was ME in the mirror, i had tears in my eyes.. my son said ” momita whats wrong? are you ok? ”
i told him i was ok and nothing was wrong..

OHMYGOSH.. do i really have the energy anymore? this is just devistating to me..no, no pity party or poor me going on.. just a WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME

thanks sistas for listening to me vent.. i need to get ready for work..
Blessings
Linni



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • We all have moments like this.... for a variety of different reasons.... I look at your picture and see a beautiful woman... and you sound very much like a beautiful woman on the inside....which is where it counts...

      When you‘re beautiful on the inside ...it glows...and shows!

      I remember when I went to college.. I was this itty bitty thing... and so where most of my soroity sisters... we had one sister that was a little chunky... not obese but definitely chunky.... she was so full of life... and carried herself as sexy... and you know what.... all they guys wanted to be with her...

      I’m not saying you shouldn’t try and get healthy... what I’m saying is a positive self image goes a heck of a long way.... it will help you get into shape too... attitude is everything...

      So chin up... head held high.... you are *FABULOUS*  ...remember?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Oh my Linni,
      I think most women have been there on occasion. I know everytime I face the 3 way that’s how I feel. And I have a pretty healthy opinion of myself! I think there are mirror devils in the store that are there just to make you feel bad so you will purchase more. I do!
      Whenever faced with the 3 way I always try to focus on 1 postive. You have a beautiful soul and nothing can change that!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Linni,
      Knock it off! Okay, that was a bit strong, but you are a beautiful woman. Period.
      I too have gained weight over the years and I was stressing so much about it. But I have decided to just strut my stuff girl, I’m gonna work with all this!
      Oprah just released a statement saying she re-gained all the weight she lost and she is just going to work on being healthy, not svelte.
      I think in this day and age we start to get down on ourselves because of how the media has decided the perfect woman should look like. When I look at my gorgeous niece, I mourn the woman that I was, then I remember all the drama that was associated with that woman. Okay, now I’ve got more cushion for the pushin‘, but I would not trade the weight to inherit the problems of the past.
      Embrace the woman you are today. And think of how many women PAY for those boobs you have! LOL!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Now that you released that, change one thing at a time and walk into your next dynamic zone.

      much love
      47



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Linni

      You are a beautiful woman! And woman pay a lot of money for 48DDD - LOL!

      In regards to your weight, focus on your health versus how you look. Yes you may need to loose weight, but for your health only.

      A year ago I was almost pre-diabetes. My doctor wanted to start giving me meds and I told her no I wanted to wait. Well I lost 20 lbs, 3 inches off my waist and my blood work came back all clear!  

      Now I’m trying to loose another 30 lbs and it’s for health reasons only.  

      I wish you the best!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Good morning Linni. happy
      I’m sorry you experienced that. And I fully agree with Vikki! Mirror devils indeed!!
      Let me tell you & I’m sure all of our sisters in here agree how awesome you are! I know we all look forward to your messages in here.
      Know that you are a beautiful person & we are all here for you!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • linni, you know I love your kind heart and your beautiful spirit!  

      I know it’s overwhelming when we decide to take charge of our own lives, but there’s not a doubt in my mind you can accomplish whatever you set your sights on.

      I read recently that just by adding a daily, 30-minute walk to your life, you will get healthy. Just losing weight is no longer the key to a long life.

      As medical research matures, we are discovering that “thin” isn’t always the best, or most realistic option. Like all of the other gals here have said, you should be focusing on being healthy according to your medical history, body type, etc., rather than worrying about looking like someone else’s idea of beautiful.

      Stores like Lane Bryant not only exist but THRIVE because we are all different, beautiful and unique creatures, and our imperfections are widespread (no pun intended).  

      My guess is that you look stunning in your new duds, and you should be enjoying the generosity of your new friend. Use it as a motivator, but don’t let it bring you down!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Love yourself, Linni. I have had those same feelings of self deprecation. It was only when I truly started loving myself as I was that I became totally free to be the woman I was created to be. Just as I said to mztracy, you are not your body. You spirit is transcendent of the package that it is in. You have such a beautiful soul. It shows in your face and in your words!

      As you learn to love yourself, just commit to making small changes that will begin improving your health. Be patient, all transformation takes time, but is a process well worth the effort.

      We love you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Linni,
      What an awesome friend you have in Josh. Look at these clothes like your ‘in between’ clothes. I know having that ‘moment’ is hard, but it is your catalyst girl! It was for me. I know you can make the healthy changes you need to make. You are already on your way. I am here to help you and cheer you on. And attitude is so important. Being defeated won’t get you anywhere. You are beautiful - inside and out! You are the daughter of the King! Hold your head high and resolve to have the air of a princess. Join me on our Wednesday night encouragemnt calls. We’ll train your brain so that you have no choice but to succeed!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Do it, Linni! Call Dee Dee! No FEAR!estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Linni,

      I think sometimes we can be way too hard on ourselves.  There are times when it’s so much easier to focus on the negative, the unattainable, etc. that we don’t look for or see a silver lining.  

      Here’s the deal:  (1) Josh and his generous friendship is a huge gift to you and your family.  Enjoy it, be thankful for it. (2) You are a wonderful mother to your children and they see how truly beautiful you are.  (3) You have a wonderful group of women here who care about and support you and will encourage you in whatever way we can.  

      I love the encouragement and advice the other ladies have offered you today!  We are so blessed to have this place to love & share.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Linni, you’ve been under such stress and you’ve done everything you can to hold it all together. When you look in the mirror and you see the outer shell, anything you are not content with can be changed. Looking beyond the shell inside of you, that’s who you are and who you will always be. The stuff on the outside was created by circumstances, life, extaneous sources. Inside, you were created by God and that is, has always been and always will be beautiful. Your friend Josh knows the you created by God. So do we. If you decide to make changes on the outside you, you know where to come for encouragement and support.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Cynthia, that was awesome!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Ditto on what Cynthia said! And we love you just the way you are!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Good morning Ladies..

       wow... im not too sure what to say exceot thank you.. thank you for listening... im tired, physically and emotionally, stressed, and it was like reality brought to my attention when i seen that mirror...

      i know walking is great exercize, however with the pain im in everyday, it take all that i have just to be at work all day, and on my feet..  

      i DO NOT want to be this way, and i know I AM the only one that can change it..  

      i love you and and thank you for all your advice, and your loving uplifting. it means so much to me.. please keep me in your prayers..

      God Bless
      Linni



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