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Hello
I am 40 and getting a divorce from a man I’ve loved for 26 yrs. Any advice on how to “Turn off the feelings”



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Jul 21, 2008
    • hello———-do you have any issues with him or is he divorcing you, wasnt quite clear on that. I think we can have some sort of feelings, after all 26 yrs is along time and I am sure it wasnt all bad. Maybe if you share alittle more we can answer better.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Backburner wrote Jul 21, 2008
    • Only married 6 yrs but together since high school. He lives in Indy (he’s a race car driver) with his girlfriend, her son and a new dog. He left me, 3 dogs (1 is blind & diabetic)2 houses, all the paperwork & bills (he does put the money in the bank for me to pay the bills) behind in Lake Havasu City. He has made it back here 3 times in 13 months. I had cancer over the winter, Uteran Cancer, had full/complete hytorectomy in Feb 2008, but am now cancer free. Finished radiation 7/3/2008. (He saw me once during that) But I can’t get the guy to divorce me. He “doesn’t have time“. I’m a hermit chick as his controlling ways kept me scared and home alone. I’d LOVE to move on, just don’t know how, escipally when he wont do any of the work towards it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      1inspain wrote Jul 21, 2008
    • Hi ,wow 26 years.Well try to find things to occupy your mind .Take a class,join a Gym,go  out with friends, and finally take a step to find someone new.You being 40 is a good thing.Wisdom is a great thing!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Jul 22, 2008
    • are you wanting him to do the divorce?  Think you are better off without him. I can only try to know what you are feeling as “I” left a 30 yr marriage and did not know freedom could be so sweet. Is it different and a struggle, yes, this I know. I think you have to get really PO‘ed and think maybe he did you a favor. Why does he not have time for a divorce, is he still harboring feelings? You do not want to spend anymore time on someone that clearly does not deserve you. Keep writing as there are many of us who would like to help you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Backburner wrote Jul 28, 2008
    • Thanks for your advice ladies (had computer issues, couldn’t get online for a few days). It helps to know I am not alone in this situation. I wish I was as bold as all your advice. I’m a loner, only 2 friends in my little town of Lake Havasu AZ. Tried the bar thing, but really undesireable men there, yuck. I just got done with Cancer treatment 7/3, and have been thinking about going back to CURVES gym, the gals there are awesome. It would be nice to have body strength back, 8 1/2 months of doing nothing has made me flabby.
      I do wish him well, I just wish him well, out of my life. He doesn’t have time this week cause he’s headed to CABO SAN LUCAS with his girlfriend (couldn’t pay bills on time, but could buy a trip for his young thing). It would be easier if he wasn’t famous, and on ESPN2 every weekend, and BLOGs on NHRA website...sucks,I have a hard time keeping myself from checking on him.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Backburner wrote Jul 28, 2008
    • I do want him to do the divorce, his idea, and I’ve been his Secretarty for 20 years, I’d like him to realize things take effort and work, they don’t just magically happen. He told me the house I live in runs itself. I said no, I run the house, I do a damn good job, that’s why it looks effortless, but .77 acres don’t rake themself, mow themself, trim the palms by itself, the dog poop doesn’t poof, disappear, I pick it up & the inside certainlly doesn’t self clean.
      I know I’m better off without him, I just want him to go away. Even getting him real pissed off, doesn’t work anymore. Right now I’m not contacting him at all, that’s my current stratergy. Thanks for wanting to help me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Jul 28, 2008
    • keep writing..........we are all here for you and we will help you however we can. keep your chin up !



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