Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.


I have been dating a man for the past 7 months and we seem to hit it off wonderfully. In the beginning, things were a little rough as he was just coming out of a relationship that ended badly. I knew he was on the rebound and asked him several times if he was ready for a relationship that soon after. He responded by saying he needs a partner in his life and felt he needed to move on and I accepted that. This man is very attentive, affectionate and generous and a good communicator, a real plus when it comes to men. Perhaps this comes with age as he is 54 years old and I am 48.
The reason I am posting this is, he has stopped saying "I love you", it almost seems like he is purposefully going out of his way not to say it. He used to say it all the time, in fact he said it to me very early on in the relationship and it took me back, it was too early. But he continued to say it to me, on the phone, in person and in emails. I am trying to think if something has changed in the relationship in terms of how he treats me, but nothing has. He is still the same person and how we interact and relate to one another has not changed. I thought of asking him about it, but I don't want to have him think I am insecure or making mountains out of mole hills. It was my birthday yesterday, he took me to a wonderful dinner, gave me a beautiful diamond necklace, but what was most obvious was the fact the word "love" was missing from the card. Instead it was hugs and kisses. We just came back from a beautiful week in Montreal where I met all his family, including his children and parents, and we got along wonderfully, I just can't figure this out. In fact one evening while there, I told him I loved him and he just smiled at me. He did hug me and say "love ya" when I left him after getting off the plane, but it was very characteristic of how he would address his family. He did tell me his ex used to get after him for saying "I love you" all the time and told him it loses its value when you say it too often.
Not sure where to go with this...am I making mountains out of mole hills or do I have an issue on my hands???




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 10, 2011
    • Have you thought of asking him straight out if something in the relationship has changed for him????

      I would!



            Report  Reply


    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kathy Holmes wrote Jun 10, 2011
    • You‘re obviously getting a vibe that something has changed and you won’t be able to relax and enjoy the relationship as long as this is bugging you. Vikki had a great idea - she’s full of great ideas - ask him if something has changed. And tell him how you feel. Just because his ex thought he said it too often (maybe she didn’t feel it and didn’t want to hear it), doesn’t mean you think he says it too often and he needs to learn that lesson, too. The first person after a broken relationship bears the brunt of the old relationship. That’s why it’s not good to jump in too quickly. But men don’t want to be alone and will often jump. That may work out, but communication is key.

      Kathy

      Kathy Holmes, Author
      Real Women Wear Red
      The Tom Jones Club
      Viva, Las Vegas, A Shaker of Margaritas: Hot Flash Mommas anthology
      Cougars in Cabo, A Shaker of Margaritas: Cougars on the Prowl  anthology



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cressie wrote Jun 10, 2011
    • I’d ask him why he doesn’t say it anymore, but I think I’d try to keep it light and make it sound a bit jokey. Like, ‘what happened to the ‘I love you’ then? Did you wear it out from saying it so much?’ kind of thing. I know it’s hard to adopt a light tone when you‘re feeling hurt and sensitive, but it might be worth a go. It may give him the chance to talk about it without becoming defensive, or feeling got at.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Jun 10, 2011
    • I like Eva’s answer



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Macy wrote Jun 13, 2011
    • Thank you for your helpful posts. I think I will in some discreet way speak with him about my feelings and how much I enjoy hearing him say I love you. He continues to be ever so attentive and affectionate and I generally feel loved and apreciated by him.



            Report  Reply


About this author View Blog » 
author