"I threw that dozen red roses right in the wastebasket!" Nancy crowed triumphantly.

"I told him I didn't want anything for Christmas and I meant it."

The "I told him so" energy was so strong you could feel it from across the room. Nancy was truly annoyed. Angry at her husband because he didn't honor an agreement.

"I can't believe he didn't get me anything at all!" Alison complained with an unmistakable note of bitterness in her voice. "I know we agreed to skip gifts this Christmas but I got him something anyway."

"How could he have let me have Christmas with no gifts."

What? Ladies, what are we doing to our men???

I know we are raised hoping that our guys will read our minds. We coyly drop hints about things we want to have happen in our relationships and then we get pissed when they don't get it.

We finally strong arm them into a decision, like, with money so tight, let's skip gifts this Christmas. And then get mad when he follows through.

Can you imagine throwing a dozen red roses away? You may think, "I would NEVER do that!" And that may be true.

But, how many times do we dismiss our husbands and boyfriends by our attitudes and behavior?

Guys think we are impossible to figure out and some of them have quit trying, bless their hearts! We owe it to ourselves to be specific when it comes to asking for things. As Dr. Phil likes to say, "We men like the dots really close together."

That is so true. If you want to limit gift buying, that may be the best decision for you and your guy, especially if you are trying to change your spending habits. But, there are many other options for giving heart felt gifts that don't cost a penny.

Here are a few:
• Give him heart-felt compliments every day. There are things he is proud of at this point of his life. Tell him how proud you are of him. Don't be fake. Be open to noticing what he is doing that is working.
• Pick up a few things around the house with a heart full of love and compassion instead of annoyance and exasperation. Imagine you are straightening the house for an important visitor. Put your Ipod on and rock out while you are working!
• Start saying, "I might be wrong about this but....." before you share your opinion or feelings. This works like a charm to soften your approach and if he is disarmed, he will hear you better.
• Be honest. If you want a gift, don't agree to no gifts!!! I know this seems simple but, ladies, it is unfair to make a decree and then get mad because he honors it. Set a price limit or ask for a book from Barnes and Noble but do yourself a favor and be direct about what you want.
• Give your man a facial massage. If he is skittish about this, that tells you a lot about his comfort level with other than sexual intimacy. If that is the case, start with a hand massage. Massaging his hands with rich creamy lotion will feel good to both of you.

How about you? What things have you done that have brought a grin to your man's face and haven't cost you a thing?