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This world is not perfect, and to my knowledge there is not a perfect human being on this planet. However, there are some people in their own mind who believe they are perfect, superior, and that others are quite beneath them. These individuals are called narcissist. Do you have a friend, spouse, employer, employee, or are you yourself dealing with narcissism?  

A narcissist believes the world evolves around them. They want total control of absolutely everything, and will stop at nothing to get ahead. That includes crushing, manipulating, and belittling everything and everyone in their path. Narcissists seem sweet and approachable until you actually get to know them. Then you quickly discover they are heartless, cold, and calculating. If you work or are married to a narcissist, your life will be a living hell. If you are weak, your health, self-worth, and esteem will be destroyed.  

I had an employer that was a narcissist. She was beautiful outside, but a cold shell inside. Once she became the Vice President of my department, it quickly started falling apart. No one could make one decision without her approval, whether it was changing a simple form, implementing a basic policy, or sending out an email. The tension, stress, and distrust were sky high. Employee's health and sanity were being shattered daily. If we had a victory, she quickly and condescendingly squashed our joy. Turnover in my department was 80%. She took pleasure in berating, threatening, and belittling everyone.  I lasted only a few months, because I knew my sanity, health, and self-worth would not be under her control.  

A narcissist loves the weak, because they become co-dependent slaves. Too scared to do or say anything, and will not rock the boat. Life is miserable with a narcissist, but the weak stay because they are scared and feel worthless. If you are dealing with a narcissist and they aren't willing to change – leave! If you stay, you will lose every bit of yourself.

Do you know a narcissist?

Sharman Lawson a columnist on Fabulously40, and a financial coach, speaker, and author of the book 12 Steps to Eliminate Debt Forever! Visit website freedomconceptsusa.com



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • Sharman, I’ve often wondered if our youngest son is a narcissist. He’s only 23, so he might still be just plain ol’ selfish! But he still blames others for the things that happen to him. I suspect that he will eventually grow out of it, but right now he bears several earmarks of a narcissist.
      I do worry about my precious little daughter in law! She’s the second, he ran off the first one already!

      That said, he does have many wonderful qualities. He is a lot of fun, bold, creative, willing to try just about anything. I’m hopeful. estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • Sharman, I worked for a couple like you describe for a couple years.  Work-wise it was the worst two years of my life.  In their own eyes they were perfect.  The only people who kept their jobs there were the ones who had no self worth to begin with.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • With the description you write, I think I worked with one. She ultimately was the reason I left my job. She was not above tattling to get her way with the upper management. When it was about to be her birthday, she would make a big deal about it and wanted to celebrate the entire WEEK!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • I used to work for one then I was promoted to a position equal to her. It was really hard to work with her even on an equal basis but I stood my ground and she backed off me to find others easily intimidated by her.
      Also I suspect my stepson is one but he is only 20 so maybe he just doesn’t know any better yet. I’m working on it tho....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • I have had one as a parent and an ex spouse. Life is a living h*ll with these people.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • Oui ........ sadly and the other week after being pushed for many years bailed out ........long story but my last nerve had been shredded and I just snapped ....... they of course think it's me and have told everyone so ....... do I care no



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • I’ve known many, I suspect I have a magnetic attraction to them, since I seem to attract these types into my life. And it is easier to leave and move on away from them. I just don’t get the thrill that they get out of treating people like that and being so disliked.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tammy Slater-Kendrick wrote Jul 27, 2009
    • Lola, you probably attract them because you are so sweet - they think that means they can easily control you. It must come as a shock to them when they realize you‘re an independent, strong-willed woman!



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