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I have a very close relative who is almost 40 years-old and all his life he was very selfish and indifferent.  His mother has always given him everything and enabled him to do whatever he pleased.  

Presently, he lives with his mom, who reluctantly supports him financially (he hasn’t had a job in two years!)  As far as I can remember; he never cared acknowledges any holiday (Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc . . .) Never a giver always a taker.  

At some point, don’t most people wake up and realize they need to grow up?  What about the discovery of selfishness and taking advantage of others,especially an elderly mother?  He doesn’t care, although, he is not considered a Sociopath.  

If he looks for a job, he expects someone else to look for him, write his resume, cover letter, make the calls for inquiry, etc . . . What is this???? Is there some medical term for this?  THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION! This is insane!  Do you know of anyone like this?  

This is only 1/3 of how he is.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • At this point in his life the only thing I can imagine is that he will never change.
      I really hate to see what happens when he doesn’t have his mother anymore.
      He should be labeled so that some unsuspecting lady doesn’t accidentally get involved with him.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Someone just refuses to grow up.  They need a big kick in their butts!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Does he do drugs or drink?  I’m assuming there is no “mental” issue.

      Why would a mother do the extreme injustice of enabling him like that for this long?!    

      Can you even imagine the women that would take him.?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Unfortunately I see my step daughter leaning more and more in that direction. She just flew to Honolulu to spend a long weekend with a guy she just met, left her three year old daughter with her mom (they all live together) ran out of money and got irritated with her mother for not wiring her more.

      Luckily for us she doesn’t pull that kind of stunt on her father. He wouldn’t buy into it.

      What will this man do if his mother should suddenly run out of money, or worse, she should pass away? Who would enable him then?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Psalmist wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • my other “son” at work (the gas cap story) was recently telling me about his uncle who is 42.  he says he has never worked a day in his life, he still lives with his parents and they support him completely.  they (the parents) have even gone so far as to let everyone in the family know that they are leaving their entire estate to him because “he will not be able to make it without it.”  talk about enablers?  from what i’ve been told, he is perfectly healthy, has no mental or physical incapacities or debilitating phobias.  i don’t know him myself and granted this is heresay from a co-worker, but this young man has no reason to lie or exaggerate (our lines of communication are wide open).



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • I get along very well with my step daughter but one day my husband was talking to her about being responsible, working, being independent. Her comment to him had something to do the an inheritance. He laughed. He told her that if he should die first, everything goes to me so she’d better be nice if she wants anything down the road. Really sad that conversation even had to be in the first place.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Abrams wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • I have several uncles who are that way.  My big moma (grand mother) is 94 years old.  As well you can imagine their ages.  They move inand out after losing jobs or relationships ending.  I talk about them everytime they see.  They have the nerve to live in the livingroom.  When company comes by you have to make them get out.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rystmom wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Yes I know someone like that. My brother-in-law. He has lived with and taken advantage of everyone in his family. He will work for a few days than “because of so and so ” loose his job. One of his major problems is drugs. Which leads to violence. He is no longer welcome at our home. Everyone babies him and makes excuses. It is quite sad.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • My sorry Uncle is like that. My Aunt has supported him their whole marriage, and that has been 30+ years. And he has had the nerve to have girlfriends AND be abusive to her! The last time he hit her was last year! And they are grandparents! He attacked her while driving and pulled all of the weave out of her hair! On a city street,no less. The police were called by passers-by and he went to jail. Of course he was back at her house 48 hours later. Sorry sorry sorry.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • I think it’s a little too late for changes.  He’s not going to change and yes one day, his mother will be gone and he will be all alone.  Sadly....it will be a very difficult change for him and rude awakening.  I don’t feel sorry for people who don’t help themselves....and can!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Myrna Perez wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Glad to get it out of my system!!!  Naturally, he is going to learn the hard way!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Holdonloosely wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • My baby said it all the other day.... “I get away with everything!” Thank heaven she is little, I can put my foot down and stop spoiling her now. This guy, is done and his mother allowed it.



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