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I couldn't help but smile reading the CNN article on the topic.    

In my immediate circle, few women mommy their husbands, while the other women find it annoying and berate them for their behavior.

Every one is a critic, and the ones that are not are psychologists.

My aunt was famous for praising her husband through out the day and never had to do any house chores in return. It was simply amazing, because it seemed so simple and so effective. As we were growing up all of the girls in the family swore to do the same with their husbands, and hoped for the same outcome. Years later it was painfully obvious that our aunt had a gift that she failed to pass on to all of us.

You need to praise from the heart and preach to the right choir. Some men can not be mommied or praised, while others live for it.

One thing is for sure: that by now we should all know what works for us, and if we don’t let’s listen and learn about what works for others.

Do you mommy your hubby? Do share what works best for you.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote May 3, 2008
    • No, I don’t mommy my husband but I always let him know how much he is loved.  I give enough grief so I try really hard to balance everything out in the universe! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote May 3, 2008
    • Okay, I do do all the cooking, which includes toasting his bagel so he can take it (on the fly)w/ the homemade lunch (cookies included)to work.  Yes, I do make him dinner every night.  But then, he BBQ’s the food I prepare, splits the laundry duty w/ me and then there’s my 2 weekly shots of Enbrel his lovingly gives me every week.  So I guess you could say-we aren’t “mommying” each other, we are simply showing our love by “taking care of each other in a loving way”
      And yes, after 27 years, it is what works for us.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Hall wrote May 4, 2008
    • I don’t mommy him. I feel that we have a pretty even share of the workload. He works full time and has a business on the side. I’m home with the boys and have Passionate for Life.com, and handle all of the “issues” that come up, such as sick kids, schools, the house, etc. I do all of the cooking. He helps out around the home.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote May 4, 2008
    • My husband has one “mommy” and my mother-in-law has done a very good job of doing this for over 47 years...I let her “mommy” him whenever she can.  There is no way that I would be able to “mommy” him the way she does...I’d be dead within a week!  When we were first married I tried...I failed miserably. I realised very early on that this role had already been taken and who was I to try to replace his mother.

        I married the man...not the “boy“...though I do love my husband’s boyish charm...but it is the “man” that I nurture with raising him up within the eyes of my children, friends and family.  I thank him whenever I can for the job he is doing at work...for without him we would not be fed, clothed or have a roof over our head. I cherish him for supporting, encouraging and stepping aside when needed when it comes to my pursuit of my dreams and desires.  I respect and admire his intelligence, ability to logically see the things that my creative mind won’t allow me to see and most of all his strong sense of character and integrity as a man...in my book...my husband is a noble man.  I am proud that he is the father of my children AND that my children see that he takes care of himself and stands on what he knows to be true.  I will protect him...come to his side when needed...encourage and affrim his actions...but I will not baby him...if he crosses the line/boundaries in certain situations, I will point it out...a mature man knows when he has done wrong...my husband normally doesn’t need to be told...he knows it.  I patiently let him go work it out and then I am there when he wants to discuss it if needed.  We laugh together, love together, hurt together...grow together.  We almost didn’t do this...it was when I stopped being his “mommy” over three ago and saw him for the man that I married and allowed him to be this that our marriage, our family...our lives became much fuller.  It took MY mid-life crisis and being on the brink of divorce to open my eyes...to see that this man who could have kicked me to the curb for all the horrible things I had done to him and my children...was indeed a man of strong noble character, who loved me uncondtionally. A man like this does NOT need a “mommy“.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz wrote May 4, 2008
    • In our 25+ years of research with successfully married couples, we have never heard any evidence to support this notion.  In the hundreds of interviews representing over 15,000 years of collective marital wisdom, the couples we interviewed reported that they care deeply for and pamper each other.   However, we have never had this kind of behavior reported from successfully married couples.  There is absolutely no research or scientific evidence to support this article.  CNN had to make this stuff up.  Only at the end of this article did they get it right with the comments "Bottom line, Schwartz says: A normal amount of nurturing is fine, but to keep a relationship healthy, show your affection in a respectful way. After all, one thing is certain, she says: 'He doesn't want to be married to his mother."

      Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
      “The Marriage Doctors” and #1 Love and Marriage Experts on Google and Yahoo
      [Link Removed]


      Doctors, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Camie Dunbar wrote May 5, 2008
    • There are times when he wants to be Mommied...like when he is sick, but other than that, he takes care of himself and us.  When there are kids and pets involved, one can only be Mommy to so many people.  Therefore, thankfully, he helps clean, cook and do the laundry so I can have some sanity too.  I am a lucky girl!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jane Woods wrote May 6, 2008
    • No, I definitely do not ‘_mother_’ my husband. I love him and care for him as he loves and cares for me but we are adults. From time to time we need more nurturing and care but it is a million miles from how I parented my children.  

      Do you remember Transactional Analysis theory and Parent, Adult, & Child ego states? Start treating your husband like  a child he might start behaving like one in your relationship. Who wants that?

      I think Doctors Charles and Elizabeth are right, CNN embroidered this story more than a little.
      Jane, [Link Removed] 


      Changingpeople, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Loretta wrote May 8, 2008
    • I don’t think I “mommy” my husband. I work from home so I do the laundry and cleaning, so I do make sure he has clean clothes for work.  

      We share with cooking duties. Typically we will both be preparing dinner at the same time. He takes care of the yard work, repairs, upgrades, remodeling, etc. He also pays the bills.

      If he’s sick I will do a little more for him. If I’m sick, wait I’m not allowed to be sick...scratch that.



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