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I feel like the George Carlin bit in his “Bad For Ya‘” concert.  In this bit he talks about how people go on and on about ridiculous topics (or about themselves) that no one is interested in without regard to the person they are speaking to. It’s really hilarious and I find it to be oh, so true.
I don’t know about you but I find that at 47 I have no patience for small talk anymore. And unfortunately, because I don’t have patience anymore I have isolated myself from others.

Has this happened to anyone else????



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • I think it all really depends on what you are talking about.  Personally if someone asked me to talk about a belt for 30 minutes...I could do it.  

      When you are referring to “small talk“...exactly what sort of subjects are you referring to?  Weather?  Grocery shopping?  Weight?  

      I think when we lose the ability to just talk without it being something of sheer importance, then you start to lose your ability to socialize.  

      Look at people who are very very intelligent...smart as a whip..but do not carry on trivial conversations.  Why do the do that?  BEcause they have no patience or because they have no social skills?  Or maybe both?  I don’t know.  

      There are days that I really do not feel like all the chit chat...but then...I might have a very nice old gentleman or nice elderly lady come to my desk and they will tell me their whole life story in 30 minutes.  To me...I really do not care...and I have no idea who they people are they are talking about (most of the time), but...I LISTENED to them.  And that is what they needed....someone to just LISTEN.  And I think for a lot of us...we don’t get it!!!  

      So with that said....I think you need to use “good judgement” and maybe think before you get out of sorts because some person just wants to talk....they just need a listener...and you might just make their day.  

      But yes....I have days I have no desire for small chit chat...but you know...it’s not the end of the world...and when we quit chit chatting....then we lose touch with each other...trivial or not.

      I guess you could say sort of like this blog....we all do it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kelly Robertson wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • My messengers tell me that you‘re hurting inside and it is because you’ve been hurt. If they‘re right, read Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life“, TODAY. It’s a quick read that I refer to often when I’m off-track. It’s one of those books you never put back on the shelf.

      And, whether I’m right or wrong, I’m sending a big huggie and angels your way right now anyhow. Compassion for yourself and compassion for others is important.

      love, kelly



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Viv1991 wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • Dear Kelly,

      Thank you so much for the “huggies and angels“.  They help, A LOT.  I’ve ordered the “You Can Heal Your Life” book from my library and look forward to reading it.  I’ve heard about this book for years but never made time to read it.  Well, I’m going to make time now!
      You‘re right, I can definately use some healing.  Thanks to your messengers, too.

      Vivian



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Viv1991 wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • The small talk I am referring to is the “it’s all about me” talk.  I tend to attract (for some reason) people who like to talk about themselves and show no interest in my life.  I find that very draining and I end up feeling hurt because I feel there is no real interest in me.  I don’t have this issues with friends I’ve had for years...I find it more with new people I come in contact with.  I know there is a “getting to know you period”  but it’s hard to get to know someone when they are not listening to what you have to say.
      We just moved to a new city and I would like to make new friends but am concerned about this issue.  Any thoughts???

      Thanks...Vivian



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • Ok...I understand what you are talking about now.
      Well....I would just nod...listen for a few minutes..and then say, “.well I need to get going” or something to that effect.  

      Unfortunately there are people out there that are like that.  Or the person who has the same story as you...but it is ten times worse.  That really bugs me.

      Moving to a new town must be hard.  I personally have never had to do that.  But just get involved with different things, organizations and it won’t take long to find out who you want to be around and you don’t.  But dont’ get your feelings hurt...it’s not you...it’s them. You’ll find someone eventually that truly wants to know YOU.  I always find it interesting to learn about other people and their lives...not in a nosey way...but just about places they have been ..things they have done..etc.

      Don’t give up....happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kelly Robertson wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • That explains it!  know all about Energy Vampires (I thimk we all do).  I believe it’s perfectly okay to dump our friends if we‘re not enhancing them and they do not enhance us. Saying goodbye is not easy but doing it with love makes it easier and sets a path for new OPPORTUNITIES (out with the old and in with the new).

      For those Energy Vampires that you meet from time to time, do what Dr. Doreen Virtue says to do: Shield Yourself. It’s as simple as lifting up your arm (you just DO IT).  Envision a globe or bubble around you of white pure light and mix some Pink in for love... you can make the very outside like a mirror so when the Energy Vampires start to try to suck the life out of you by complaining about their husbands or their job or the economy, you feel compassion for them yet, what they say does not absorb into your vibes. It works every time.  

      I also love Sylvia Brown’s theory that you can leave columns of light behind when you walk; that way, others will follow in your path of light and love and they will also be attracted to you.  I’ve made lots of new friends and new clients this way!

      Then do what Kelly says to do: Find new friends by offering an opportunity.  How you say? An idea is to start a group of ladies with like minds in your area. Go to [Link Removed] and start something fun. Action is always required to get what you desire (the Secret leaves us all a little empty since it doesn’t talk about that part too much) so I started a networking group.  It’s for ladies in my industry (health and beauty industry and direct sales) and the group’s mission statement describes an interest for those who practice the Laws of Attraction (since that’s the type of person I want to hang out with). Of course, only those who resonate with my group message join so I got exactly what I asked for and the action on my part was minimal, voila!  

      I’m sure our Fab40 group will have tons of ideas and suggestions for you.  Hope I wasn’t too “woo woo” for you.
      love,kelly


      Lipsdiva, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • I know that empty feeling when there’s a conversation going, someone is talking about themself, I’m listening, nodding my head, engaging, then when I think it’s my turn to speak, suddenly either the other person looks at their watch, the eyes dart around, sometimes they answer their cell phone, or if I’m on the phone with them they say, “oh, can you hold on a minute?” or “Oh, I had no idea what time it was, I’ve got to go, nice talking with (at) ya.”

      It’s hurtful and yes, they are selfish and self absorbed. Finding reciprocal friendships can sometimes be like wading through mud. But I believe that the wonderful nurturing, 2 sided friendships  are out there. Sometimes it just takes time.

      Wishing you well.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • Bravo Cynthia
      I think that we all get a little self absorbed at one time or another. The only difference is most of us recognize when we are being too self absorbed.
      I have spent alot of time learning to be a better listener, but then I find myself, most times, just listening.
      Oh well, what can you do?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angeldove wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • I certainly agree.  Sometimes I just want to sit and chit chat.  Not stress or worry, just everyday chit chat.  This can be very relaxing and that is very important to me.  Sure, I enjoy a good intense conversation from time to time, but what is wrong with a glass of wine, a front porch, a friend and just commenting on the small things in life.???happy



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