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Does marriage get better with age?




In our many travels around the world conducting our marriage research, we often ask this question – "Does Marriage Improve With Age?"  The answer is, YES!  Here's why.

Successful marriages and relationships, like fine wine, do get better with age.  Here are a few of the most significant reasons from our research findings are:  

Reason 1  Imagine spending 30 or more years with someone!  You know everything about them - their strengths, their weaknesses, their hot buttons, their likes and dislikes, and their darkest secrets.  You are each other's best friends and support each other in everything you do.  Our research around the world supports this simple notion – familiarity does NOT breed contempt amongst people who deeply love each other.   Familiarity and intimacy with someone you love is one of the greatest joys on Earth according to those we have interviewed who have been married for 30-77 years.

Reason 2  We can report that long-term, happy, and successfully married couples would rather spend time with their spouse than anyone else.  There should be nothing mysterious about this finding.  The longer you are married, the more you get comfortable being with the one you love. Spending time WITH their spouse is much more rewarding than spending their time alone.

Reason 3  There are a lot of people out there in the real world, across continents and cultures, who have been married for more than three decades of life, and whose rituals include garnering their daily sustenance in the presence of the same person.  When you choose to break daily bread with someone for most of a lifetime, there is one undeniable fact – you love that person so much that you find sharing a meal with them is a necessary and highly important part of your day.

Reason 4  There is one undeniable truth of life – spending your life with someone you love makes you much more happy than spending your life alone.  Spending time with the one you love makes the heart grow fonder.  Loving someone completely and intimately over the adult life span is one of the greatest gifts of life.  Long time successfully married couples around the world report that they cannot imagine life without their spouse.  

Reason 5  And finally, and perhaps most importantly, the longer successfully married couples are married, the more likely they are to get toxic people out of their lives.  Many of the couples we have interviewed tell us this – life is too short to have it poisoned by people who don't really care for you, who don't share your likes and dislikes, and who make you unhappy.  Life is, indeed, too short.  

You see, there really are important life lessons to be learned as you travel through time with someone you love.  Those lessons will sustain your love, they will nourish your love, and they will ensure a love that will last a lifetime.  Those who have been successfully married for much of their lifetime talk openly about the importance of these lessons.  

By Dr. Charles D. and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz

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