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+7
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No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a man's height.

Specifically, how tall or short is your man? And does his height have any bearing on his personality?

My father is of medium height. Both of my grandpas were of medium height, and so is my uncle. I love them all dearly, and their height has never been an issue with me. But when it came time to choose a man of my own, medium was not what I wanted. Call me shallow or vain. But in my little head, a tall man represented power, balance and stability.

I was so locked into tall that I refused to date short guys, no matter how good looking or how nice their personality. The one time I went against my rule and dated a short guy, it didn't last very long. I remember catching a glimpse of my short boyfriend as we passed by a storefront window. Seeing myself a bit taller caused a knot in my stomach and made me want to escape. I broke it off with him the very next day.  

Yes, that's how shallow I was.  And to make the matters worse, he was a very nice guy, the kind you are happy to take home and meet your parents. These days, when my daughter is madly in love with a guy who barely stands an inch taller than her, I look at both of them and smile. My daughter is so much smarter than I was.

Personality Trumps Tall

We women tend to wrap ourselves in the vanity of short, skinny, tall, fat—all of the qualities that we stop noticing when life happens. As soon as the "I do's" are over and life begins, no one really cares about these things. We either learn to overlook the imperfections in the spouse that we adore, or, if it turns out that we are not meant for each other and that love was a temporary thing, we tend to obsess about their imperfections.

We've all heard about short men with Napoleon complexes. And we've all met the six-feet and taller men who are more insecure than a 15-year old boy with a face full of acne. The truth is that size doesn't really matter. It's all about personality.  

My grandma always said that a handsome man is just a bit more attractive than a monkey (but just by a tiny bit, she would add with a twinkle in her eye).  

A short man with a great personality has just as many (if not more) chances of getting that hot girl or classy woman as a tall handsome dude. In fact, the short guy will get noticed for a great sense of humor and gregariousness much faster than the tall handsome guy. Why? Simply because he is trying so much harder and it melts our hearts.

So now, at almost 45, I finally get it.  And I apologize profusely to all the wonderful men that never had a chance with me when I was single and dating.

+7
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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 21, 2010
    • My first husband was only 5‘6“, his dad only 5‘4”

      I thought he was adorable. And he was a nice guy, too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 21, 2010
    • I also add that the photos of you and your hubby are really cute. You two look beautiful together.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Jan 21, 2010
    • My boyfriends were all Tall. I just thought tall guys and men were sexy to me. It’s not like I looked for tall men, It just happened that way. My hubbys 6‘1” and I’m 5‘2“estaticheart

      When my mom was married to my step-dad, he was 6‘4” and she Is 4‘11“. She also loved tall men.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jan 21, 2010
    • If the guy is comfortable in his own skin despite the height issues then it is easier to find him attractive, if he suffers from short man syndrome (and I’ve met plenty of those) then forget it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • I always wanted a tall guy.  I’m was 5‘10” before I ended up with back problems.  I wanted a guy who was 6‘4” or thereabouts.  But oh no!  All those kind of guys end up married to little runts.  They don’t seem to be interested in tall women.

      I always got hit on by short guys and like Yana said, they were nice guys with great personality.  All of them.  But I looked right over top of their heads and ignored them.  My loss.

      Both my husbands have been around 5‘11.

      Tulip



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Trudy S wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • Good topic....what about tall women issues too?  

      As a 6’ woman I have had men act just as ‘strangely’ about my height.  I’ve had tall guys (taller than me!) who wouldn’t date me because they ‘only date short girls’ and I’ve had tall guys who can’t wait ‘to climb that tree‘.

      I ended up marrying a tall guy (6‘3“) but it wasn’t by design.  I’ve dated short guys too...couple of inches shorter.  Even now there are days when I wear heels that I am taller than my husband.  2.5” heels with orthotics inside and voila...I’m a little bit taller.

      Many find that intimidating ...but that is no MY problem!  estatic

      I think the need for women to have tall and men to have shorter mates is simply ‘cave man/woman’ response.  Women are genetically predisposed to want to be ‘protected’ and for their man to be powerful.  Men want someone to protect and taller women may make them (unknowingly) feel inferior/competitive...like they do with taller men.

      That's my 2cents! happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • It does not matter to me about the height of a man, quite frankly never thought much about it..integrity, honesty, humor, character, loyalty are the traits I look for and size below the belt doesn’t hurt either..had to throw that in!..estaticestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kandykahne 5 wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • Height didn’t matter that much to me. My hubby is a foot taller than I am.happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chicaboricua wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • “BARCO GRANDE ANDE O NO ANDE”

      TALL, TALL, TALL LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • All I know is that tall guys love petite girls estatic

      Tall girls sometimes don’t mind short guys, and sometimes they do.

      At the end of the day, we women over 40 know that height is the least of the problem. Finding a man with integrity who is smart, kind and sensitive is the way to go happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • I’ve alway’s dated taller men myself.  I’m 5‘6 and used to wish I was 5‘8.  My husband is 6‘1.  My father was 6‘1.  I dated a “short” guy one time and it just didn’t work out.  Hey, you like what you like right?  I’ve always just felt “safer” if you will with a taller man.  Also, they had on dateline or one of those shows that it was something like 85% of all CEO’s are over 6‘0.  So there is proof that height is more powerful (hope I said that right).  We have a dear, dear friend who is an ex vietnam vet who is only 5‘5.  Nicest man you’d ever meet in your life.  happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 22, 2010
    • Well I have dated tall and short. Being 6’ myself it was always my issue. My hubby is 5‘10” and better than any over 6’ footer I have dated! happy

      Most of the over 6 footers I dated liked being with taller women better, they said they were just hard to find!  

      As for being taller being more powerful...pffft. Guess it’s who does the survey. lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 23, 2010
    • For me.... I like a guy who is confident first and foremost! I don’t want to be shallow but I must be..... Since I am 5‘6” in my bare feet and add however many inches from heels (which I wear everyday) and I am NOT petite in build I still prefer my man to be taller than me.
      Thankfully my hubz is at 6‘!!!!

      And only in 6th grade did I like a boy that was shorter than me..... lil Chuckie W was the 1st and the last for me....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Jan 23, 2010
    • being nearly 5’ 10” myself, I definately want a tall guy........at least 6‘2 or over.  makes me feel like I am huge if the guy is shorter...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Jan 23, 2010
    • I see that most of you gals wanted a tall guy, so I don’t feel so bad anymore



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Medusa wrote Feb 25, 2010
    • I love tall men.  I’m 5‘5 and anyone over 6‘0 has my attention lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Feb 25, 2010
    • I dont think size matters and never did really. I dated a guy who was only 4‘11”  and a guy who was 6‘6” when I was single. I am 5‘4” so there was a noticeable difference both times...lol. I never minded. My husband is 5‘8” .



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tmas3500 wrote Jul 13, 2010
    • I’m a big girl, I would prefer a tall man.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Plussize4you wrote Oct 15, 2010
    • I think we are all guilty of being a little shallow at some point but thank god we grow up, Yes usually after turning 40 we see things a little differently and look for qualities that matter to our happiness... not just the physical attraction.



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