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Nice Neighborhood ....RIGHT ????

Here is where I live (not to brag, Ive worked hard for this), On a golf course in the middle on hole number 2 and I have a view front and back of golfcourse its beautiful and peaceful and my neighbors are all pretty nice except my nieghbor directly across from me drinks and the one across from him has unsupervised kids and drinks too. Last summer, I was falsely accussed of calling CPS on the unsupervised children and both neighbors threatened me and my son.  I think it was the neighbors that moved away next to me that called CPS but somehow I was targeted, I guess its my profession that led them to me?  I will have to admit the kids are unsupervised while the parents drink every weekend and Ive almost ran over them a few times as well as my guests and parents.  So I can understand the CPS complaint, it wasent me.  Anyway....  

My oldest daughter and her husband hang out with my neighbors despite this and Ive been threatened by my neighbor and his buddies and so has my son, when they are drinking (which is every weekend and he is building a bar on his patio).  

Long story short is my oldest daughter is very beautiful and ever since she was little all big and little boys would knock on the door wanting to play with her smitten by her.  She has no idea that she has that effect on them, but she has been hanging out with my neighbors talking pooh about her little 18 year old brother.  As a result two of my neighbors have threatened my son.  One threatened me for telling him to stop picking on an 18 year old kid, then he threatened me and I told him, your quite a man.. that threatens a woman ?  Very brave of you ?  Bravo !

So last night I was emailing Soulful (sweetie that she is) and playing scrabble on face book to relax and my son came running in and said Mom.. hurry come out and I went outside and my Neighbor Corey who is about 38 years old was drunk and calling my son every vulgar word in the book and said Robert is here come over here, you little b..strd.. and Robert is my son in law so I said, Robert are you there sweetie and Corey said, yes he is come over hear he wants to see you and I said Derek dont go.. so we went in and Corey was spewing all kinds of profanities.

We called the police and it turned out Corey got drunk at a resturant ... got thown out for throwing rocks at people and then my son in law drove him home, got thrown up on and was inside washing up when Corey was trying to lure us over so he could beat us up.. ???   Im so glad I didnt go and I was home to keep my son safe.  Robert came out and Corey was threatening us and my son called the police and when they came Corey threw up on the police.  We didnt press charges but had it documented and remember we have been threatened by him and his buddies on many occassions.. Like a typical drunk he is sorry the next day, but it getting crazy.

So what should I do.. I was thinking about writing him and the other neighbor a letter saying that I didnt call CPS on the kids running in front of cars although I can understand why someone would ?  And tell them despite what my daughter says about her little brother he is 18 and still a kid and there is sibling rivalry and its not there place to threaten him ?  Or should I just leave it alone as I have done and hope it wont escalate.  Ive told my daughter to stay away from them but she is a social animal and I just cant make her and her husband stop.  She told me today her husband had had it with Corey but I doubt that will last long as they network with these people.

What should I do ?  Letter ? No letter ?  Have my attorney draft a cease and desist letter ?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Would a restraining order be warranted? (Just for “C.Y.A.” purposes?)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I was thinking of a Restraining order, I think both I and my son would have to file it.  I wanted to try a civil approach first but its getting out of hand.  Thanks Jenz thanks Vintage.. good idea.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Does he have a wife?  Maybe you could talk to her to in turn talk to him.... or possibly another neighbor could talk to him on your behalf....  

      Personally.... you really can’t ignore it... you have been and it hasn’t gotten better... so I doubt it would get better as time goes on....  

      If you do a restraining order that kicks the problem up a notch... honestly I don’t think the problem would go away... restraining orders usually do little... just documents the problem so if something happens he will probably go to jail... big consolation if you or your son get hurt.... I would do it as a last resort.

      Does he attend a church? Maybe a paster could speak to him...  

      If he’s approachable when sober... maybe you can approach him with a third party(s) to discuss it... I know this sounds sexist... but I would bring a male friend with me... he seems to only respond to males and ones that have authority or are on an even keel with him....I would not bring my son... I might possibly bring your son-in-law since he is fairly friendly with him...

      I would definitely make it clear in the conversation that you weren’t the one to call CPS... (I assume it’s your state’s version of child services)... and by the way, based on what you are saying... I agree whoever did call was probably right.

      If that didn’t work... I’d file the restraining order AND have a lawyer threaten suit... if you threaten to hit this guy in the pocket book it might do the trick...

      Too bad you don’t have a dog... Shepards usually end things like that really quickly.  

      I don’t envy you ... bullies are always tough to deal with... I’m a lot like you... I’m usually tough and sarcastic back... but experience has taught me that isn’t always the way to get the best results.

      Good Luck



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • You‘re welcome.

      Dealing with a drunk is like banging your head against a brick wall.

      You’ll be civil till the day is done but they never are. Their thinking is too warped all the time. Plus who knows what they even remember? I’d suggest protecting yourselves w/ restraining orders to prevent the situ from becoming worse or dangerous.

      Good luck! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Because we cannot never be too cautious, I agree with the ladies. Whatever you can get legally documented - DO IT! With the holidays right around the corner there will be more drinking. So you need to go to the police station do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your family.  

      I also would have a talk with him while he is sober and tell him I have a restraining order and etc.... This way he cannot say he was not warned.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I agree with Jenz that there is no rationalizing with a drunk person....especially a mean drunk. I would look into a restraining order or consult an attorney. I wouldn’t write a personal letter because it will not solve anything and it may evoke his anger again.
      Tough position Bobbi. I hope you find some peaceful solution. Keep us up to date.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I almost forgot...  

      You mentioned you are in a development on a golf course... my uncle lives in one that looks like yours... its a gated community... is there any recourse with the community?  Perhaps they can handle it?  Most communities like that have a ton of rules to follow ... someone must enforce those rules... a board or governng group.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Thanks Annie....  

      You would think a man that can afford to live in a house in that nice a neighborhood would have the smarts and class not to do this sort of thing... geesh



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Alcohol issues don’t discriminate, that’s for sure. You’ll find that anywhere from a back alley homeless person with a paper bag to a millionaire’s mansion stocked with a glass cabinet of Baccarat.
      I think the restraining order would be good too because than the authorities deal with those people. You won’t have to do it directly, or, be put into any potentially threatening position. Then if he messes with you, you call the cops & he goes bye-bye.
      You deserve to be and have the right to be safe & peaceful in your own home.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Thanks so much, Im just really disturbed about this because on one hand this is my home and Im a really good neighbor, quiet and I dont distrub other than a few media vans and antena’s from time to time, and Im actually glad to hear someone called CPS because the children were and are bound to be hurt as the parents open the garage, set chairs out and go across to the alcoholics house and party is on, while the kids play in the street and I cant tell you how often going .2 miles an hour Ive had to screech my brakes, so I can understand why someone would complain, my parents told me I should especially after one of the kids, ran out in front of me on his skate board sticking his toungue out at me.. she said those kids are going to get killed, I said I know..  

      We told the parents and they look at you like your evil for telling them thier kids did something dangerous.

      I guess because I try to get along with my neighbors is why I havent filed restraining orders as like one of the ladies said it does escalate things and sometimes does little to help.  

      I should have documented the first threats, I remember I went to LA after the first ones and thought about it the entire time what to do and thought maybe it will stop.

      I guess I wont follow my own advice as Id tell someone to document, call the police and file restraining order.

      Im going to have to get tough I guess.  I really dont want problems but I noticed that the neighbor with the unsupervised kids had several kids on a trailer for Halloween and they skipped my house.. I thought how awful to deny kids treats ??   Some of the kids came by later for popcorn balls, but you ladies have been giving me alot to think over.. and your right, dealing with drunks is really whats going on.. drinking parents and drinking neighbor.

      And yes he is married but his wife is not assertive and I think he may have even been abusive to her at times and she tolerates it.  So.. I dont want to involve her.

      As far as a dog.. my Bloodhound Blue died in January.  He was the best to track down missing animals and Ill miss him so much but yes a shepard would be great protection.  Although my bloodhound would have him pinned and crying uncle in two seconds.

      I think I must protect my son.  It seems he has become a target.  I can defend myself.  

      I did document last night and I think I should have when it first started.  I did tell them I didnt file the CPS charges but they for some reason think its me.. perceptions I guess.

      Thanks Jenz, Vintage, leadinglady, linda, Annie, All the best advice..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I would make sure to ask your daughter to keep the sibling rivalry away from that idiot!! Some people take things way to literally.

      I am so sorry for the loss of your pup!! I know how hard that can be.  

      Get your son in to some self defense classes. I know from my own experience it works.  

      Now, unfortunately dealing with an alcoholic is not easy. Nothing you do will change his mind when he gets drunk. He will be all positive and sorry when sober, but then not give a damn when he gets drunk. Unless he wants help and hits his rock bottom, you are stuck with this crap.  

      I know how hard it is to deal with a**hole neighbors. No amount of ‘niceness’ works. If anything happens again like this you really need to press charges. Maybe this will show him the reality of his drinking and what it does. I know it will be hard to do, but I am afraid if nothing hardcore gets done, then something bad will happen. And then if it continues you must follow through each time and press charges. And yes I would look into a restraining order.  

      Sadly he needs something ‘smashed’ at him. Most likely no one ever has fought back, and like the bully he will keep at it.  

      Bobbi - please be careful of this man.
      love and light



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Thanks MzTracy, yes my daughter does need to stop talking about her sibling rivalry with her little brother, it seems no matter how much Ive done for her, she seems to think Ive done even more for my other two children and ask them and they think I did more for her.. GO FIGURE ?  Ive tried to equally do for all but still they each think each other has gotten the best ?  Mostly my oldest and she takes her grievances to the nieghbors and I think this started the whole mess and Im betting some grievances about me too, spoiling them and alas.. my neighbors want to kick my arse and my sons.. ???  

      But you know, despite all of that, they should realize Im Cassies mother, thats her brother and she loves us and how in the world is that going to make things nice with my daughter I just dont understand other that they want attention.

      Derek is a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do but would still have a hard time Im sure with a 37 plus year old man and and 35 year old man attacking him at the same time.

      Your right.. Ill be careful dealing with him because as I said, I think of my self as invincable and Id fight him to the death and that would most likely be mine.. as in my mind Im so strong and physically Im not, but would fight to death to defend, anyway.. just my make up I guess.  So its best to let the police handle him.. I have to live for my children, family and business.

      And I do miss my bloodhound his name was “Blue” and when I was sick he would bay at the moon.  I miss that sound.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I was just catching up~
      Indeed I think a restraining order would be the best way to go~ especially if someone has targeted your son.
      Re The dog thing that's ALL you need is for your dog to attack an attacker on your property you'd risk being sued if anything went wrong like that. although having a good guard dog around so you can sleep at night is a great idea.
      Boxer’s are excellent!
      As for what the neighbors say & do ~ “let them eat cake!”
      As long as they aren’t doing it near you or yours!
      Have a super day.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • It sucks when you have to worry about this. You pay your mortgage, your taxes, etc. You should not have to deal with such idiots! And two grown men!!!

      Blue, gr8 name for him!! My beau, an aussie, would lie at me feet and moan when i got sick. He never left my side. I miss him.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Awwww I love your beau... how sweet.. Yeah your right Jenz about a dog attacking but if he attacks and the dog defends its self defense then my dog is justified in attacking the attacker but yes, I do need protection.  

      A serial murder (he would chop on a butcher table with a jigsaw) case I worked he is released and Im his list so I do need a dog to guard the back of the yard, a big one.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Understandable.
      You aren’t listed anywhere are you??



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Greeneyed: Remember I am raising 9 puppies.

      p.s. top qualities.

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we + God can do all thing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • pit bull - if your state allows them. contrary to popular opinion, they are awesome dogs if you check the blood line and do not mistreat them.  

      doberman - gr8 dogs very protective

      shepards - what can i say awesome dogs.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I vote for German Shepherd - this is my bias opinion.

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we + God can do all thing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I keep my address private but anyone can find you if they want trust me on that.. anyone.  Sheppards hmmmmmmm

      Im going to think on that Chinadoll... interesting.. Ive always had Bloodhounds as I use them to search for missing animals on cases but a shepard hmmmmmm  Pit bulls are great pets too.. Im going to think about it over Holidays.. cute dolly today chinadoll.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Puppies won’t be ready for a month or two.  Plenty of time for you to consider.  Need more info on German Shepherd, their temperament and behaviors, etc, PM me.

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we + God can do all thing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Bobbi.I think you need to notify your association if you have any..I’m sure if you do you‘re paying into it anyway...But they need to know what’s going on...and maybe you should talk to an attorney, just to know what legal grounds you have..I know you know a lot, but your emotions have been tested and we tend not to think straight when we‘re emotional...and yes a restraining order might be needed to because with the holiday season upon us..there will be some heavy drinking and who knows what might pop off...

      Good luck girl..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Bobbi,

      I am so sorry to hear about this IDIOT!

      I think two types of recorders are your best friends right now. Video recorder and tape recorder! A video cam on your home wouldn’t hurt either. Getting this guys actions and words would do well to help you if you need to show them at some point.

      A good dog always makes me feel better! Big dogs are great... but those small ones are pretty sharp TOO! (no pun intended ... lol)
      One dog I am afraid of our dachshunds. They only seem
      to like family and everyone knows it.  

      I hope you can tie this guys tail in a knot when it is all said and done!



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