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Let me ramble a minute, please....

Here's a thought.  If, for the sake of the argument, say we know inside what's right, what we should be doing (go to the gym, clean one section of the house-take a break-come back to it-get it done, etc.) why do we not do those things then?  How can we know and then deliberately go against that?  Why, if it's so simple (exercise, eat right, don't smoke, be nice) do we ignore those things?  Why, if cleaning one room at a time will actually get the job done and make us feel better, do we go about the cleaning in a way that can't possibly get the job done?  What's going on?

And yet we expect results.  My friend Lena talks about instant gratification.  I want that.  Sure.  Check off that box.  Why then do we assume we will get there results if we don't do these things?  What is this all about?  Are we missing a gene, an enzyme that connects the dots not just in our brains but in our lives?  We do intellectually, rationally, logically, cognitively understand these dots and how to connect them, but then why can't we get this from being a theory to a practical life application?  All this stuff we "should" do, it's in our brains.  It doesn't get from our brain to our lives.  I don't know how to explain this........

........especially since there are those that seem to have motivation to spare, who are uber-productive, and do not seem to have this problem in the least.  Are we born with motivation?  Do some people just have it naturally and others don't?  Can I blame my genes?  Are couch potatoes destined to be that way?

This is crazy.  Of course we have grains of motivation in us (if we could only find them).  Since I do get to the gym, clean the house, get things done, do productive things and in general, do the things I "should" do, I'm in no position to go blaming genes I lack.

Perhaps it's our desire/expectation for instant gratification and immediate results ("lost weight NOW!") that keeps us from being methodical and thorough.  My mother used to talk to me about delayed gratification–I hated this concept–why can't I do/have what I want now?  She was right, of course.  Having had Godfry so young the focus needed to be on him for a very long time.  It's only now the focal point of our lives includes what Gavin and I may or may not want.  Eighteen years is a long time to put things on hold.  Perhaps that's also where the pressure is coming from to get through this mid-life crisis. Enough with the delayed gratification.  I want to get through this now.  I want to have the answers now.

If I could eat all the bread I wanted and still keep a flat belly (without the gym, crunches or lipo) then this whole point would be mute.  Until then, I will find ways to enjoy my life (i.e. bread, pasta, chocolate, wine) and work it off (massages, sex.....the gym).  My goal is to connect those dots in my brain.  You want to go from Point A to Point B?  You have to leave Point A, walk/run/drive/take a bus/some how get to Point B.  Only if you're a microwave can you produce instant gratification.  The rest of us have to work for it.


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