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I went to a professional conference. They said I needed to get a Facebook account. So I did. I started getting “friends”. Then my children added me as friends. This was good. The best thing about Facebook is the pictures loved ones and friends can exchange. The birth of a baby, an anniversary celebrated, a vacation earned.
Shortly, my children’s friends started adding me as friends. I thought this a little odd. I mean, why would they want their friends’ parents looking at their updates? I mean…isn’t a little separation, a little unfamiliarity between generations a good thing? I’m an open person. Fine…they want me as a friend, they’ve got me as a friend.
I wish I wasn’t their friend.
My big question is this: WHY ARE ALL THESE YOUNG WOMEN PRETENDING TO BE PORN STARS?
Seriously! I can’t take this anymore. I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. This “wanna be a slut” starts in middle school and apparently continues well into the 20’s. You know what I’m talking about.
And these girls have HUNDREDS of pictures of themselves and others in these degrading poses. Picture after picture of girls at parties, girls drinking, girls looking at the camera with the “pursed up lips” (this is so not a good look), girls grabbing other girl’s breasts, girls drinking out of beer bongs and…the V SIGN.
The V SIGN is everywhere. Someone enlighten me about the V SIGN.
I mean I’m no spring chicken, and I’m pretty sure I know what the V SIGN is, pretty sure, but WHY? Is vulgar the new sexy? Is crude and exhibitionist the new normal? Is objectification the new feminism?
AND THE TONGUES. What’s with the tongues? Everywhere the tongues. And the smiles. These girls are perpetually ecstatic. Pictures of special note are the ones where the girls are lap dancing for adolescent pimply-faced boys. Or they are bumping and grinding up against them.
Leave the porn to the professionals. You girls are way in over your heads.
I wonder about these girls and how they are going to feel about all these pictures that are now circulating the Internet for all eternity?
How are they going to feel when they actually grow up and raise the bar of expectation for themselves? When they realize that someday their daughter may ask them, “Mom, what were you doing in those pictures? Gross Mom!”
It’s all disturbing but especially disturbing are the pictures of the pre-16 year olds. We’re worried as we all should be with the economy and the drop of the stock market. But what about the drop in expectations and core values? Where are all the mothers who burned their bras in protest to the sexualization of women?
Are they not scratching their heads when they see their daughters burning their bras for the pure titillation value for young men?
Call me a prude if you must.
Mothers and Fathers: Deprogram your sons and daughters. Stop buying your 10-year-old daughter a padded bra (yes, Limited Express sells them). Stop letting them see every reality show that normalizes lewd behavior. Tell them they have a brain that is going to serve them much more in the long run than their breasts.
And take their frigging computers and cell phones away from them until they can behave like a lady.
A what?
Look it up in the dictionary. I hope it’s still there.
NOTE: Parents and young men and women should be aware that it is standard protocol for employers to check out prospective employees by looking at their Facebook or MySpace accounts. They find a way to get in. Repuation Defender (reputationdefender.com) is a business that is very effective in getting unwanted pictures and content off the Internet once and for all. However, anything that is considered “public record” cannot be removed.
“Where are all the mothers who burned their bras in protest to the sexualization of women?
Are they not scratching their heads when they see their daughters burning their bras for the pure titillation value for young men?”
I’ve been wondering this too. These teenage sluts are demolishing every single thing the women’s rights movement fought so hard to gain.
I agree with you ....its almost like they have no value on themselves.
Vicki
Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you‘re the man who made them.—Frank Tyger
Yes, it’s like the pendulum for women’s lib swung waaay too far the other direction.
Not store candles, YOUR candles!
I have a close family member who is on Facebook; her barely-fifteen year old daughter has an account as well.
I am repeatedly appalled by the racy profile photos of the daughter, and the fact that her mother is fully aware and allowing it.
It’s one thing when our kids flaunt it all behind our backs... it’s something else altogether when it is being condoned. Which, in my opinion, is just as big of a problem.
....one of the biggest reasons I pulled my FB account. seemed the biggest “activity” was sexually oriented....among strangers.....and I’m talking about adults here...
JJ
Just goes to show how our media has overexposed women so much, that the teenage girls try to live up to these exposures by being slutty, as attention and rebellion, and reaction to constant overstimulation from the media, and it’s negative influence on everyone, especially our youth. Also the lack of discipline due to fear of too many people assessing, criticizing, and dictating to us about what is allowed and not allowed in child raising.
I have myspace and facebook and honestly.....it all depends on what you put yourself out there for. Its no different than getting spam mail in your internet mailbox. You delete what you dont want. You can always make your profile private!! Most don’t.
xoxo
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi
http://www.celebratinghome.com/sites/doreen
http://www.cookielee.biz/doreenschmitt
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I have a FB account and I’ve not seen pictures to the extreme you’ve seen. But, I really don’t go looking at the young “friends” pictures. I look if my daughter is tagged in them. And let me tell you...I will never see a picture of my daughter in any lewd or slutty picture. I don’t care if she is 22, she’ll still get her butt busted! YES!! I spanked my daughter! I also popped her in the mouth, with my open hand, one day for lying to me and lying again to cover the first lie. I also spank my niece and nephew if they need it. They mind me and behave around me..not their parents. Nobody is/was going to tell me how to raise or discipline my child.
Like /Doreen said, you can block people from seeing anything about you on Facebook. I have mine so only friends can see anything about me. And all my friends I either know personally or are on Fab40.
I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.
~sayings on Being Yourself by Shirley MacLaine
So I started reading and was wondering......could it be any my daughters or their friends...... as I scrolled I felt myself tightening up..... Thank goodness it is no one I know.
I haven’t experienced this problem on FB.
Now on yearbook.com I pulled my acct (my sister roped me into that one) because it’s a meat market.
Im also on classmates.com but dont see much activity there.
Im hoping for a union of some kind.
xoxo
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi
http://www.celebratinghome.com/sites/doreen
http://www.cookielee.biz/doreenschmitt
http://www.flooringandwindowdecor.com
!
Hey Doreen
I am on classmates too but when my class decided to do a reunion they utilized that but also FB. It seems that there was a better response with FB.
ReallY??? I will have to check that out. Thx Vikki
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi
http://www.celebratinghome.com/sites/doreen
http://www.cookielee.biz/doreenschmitt
http://www.flooringandwindowdecor.com
!
thx again ... I will
xoxo
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi
http://www.celebratinghome.com/sites/doreen
http://www.cookielee.biz/doreenschmitt
http://www.flooringandwindowdecor.com
!
For some reason those girls think that is sexy or attractive & it’s neither. In addition, a few of those chicks have NO biz wearing that stuff! No mirrors in the house? wth IS that? This type of behavior isn’t just on the internet- it’s in the clubs too. Seems many try to be as slutty as possible. I’ve not seen this on fb. Some on myspace but like was mentioned earlier, block, make your page private and don’t allow anyone onto your friends’ list unless u know them.
Call the ‘fashion police’ on some of these girls after someone shows their Mamas what they’ve been doing. I’m far from a prude, believe me. But you won’t see my daughter doing that.
People shouldn’t throw their self-value out the window for attention. That’s stupid.
Excellent blog! And I agree—I don’t understand why girls are doing this, either. If they only knew how hard their mothers worked to gain the rights we have. . . And now they‘re throwing all that away. They don’t realize the harm they‘re doing to themselves.
“Is objectification the new feminism?”—No, it’s a major backlash against feminism. All this objectification and sexualization reflect the terrible sexism that still pervades (and perverts!) our society. I hope they someday realize that the men who are attracted to this behavior are the type of men that aren’t worth having. Worthy men respect women, and a self-respecting woman will attract a worthy man. I hope that made sense—it’s 3:24 a.m. I’ve stayed up too late again! Better go to sleep.
MB
)O(
“We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.”—Z. Budapest
“‘If God is male, then the male is god.’ . . . if our only images of the sacred are male . . . inevitably women will be devalued.”—Starhawk quoting Mary Daly
The objectification of young girls starts in the media via cartoons, Disney and Nickelodeon shows, etc. I happen to be sitting w/ my 11 yo son watching a cartoon yesterday afternoon a cute harmless cartoon...look closer. The boy characters are busy building rocket ships, making discoveries etc while their older teenage sister is standing in her room talking to a picture of a boy she likes and preparing for what to wear to a costume party to impress him. She has no purpose in the show but, to “chase” some boy and be really mean to her brothers. That is transmitted to children (boys and girls) constantly through “harmless” T.V. shows over and over and over and then it escalates and translates into the real world. It is subtle, constant and everywhere in the media.
I also agree completely with this blog. I have been asked by some friends if I am on facebook and I just don’t feel like being on there since I cancelled my myspace acct a long time ago because of the same sort of thing. I was constantly being asked to be friends with males who were just looking for “a good time“. And I didn’t have any provocative pictures, it got to the point where I had to specify exactly who I would like to meet etc. It just wasn’t worth the annoyance. Where are their morals? It is amazing to me that this has gotten so popular to show yourself as slutty. I guess some of these mothers could be acting the same way. I just don’t know but it has gotten out of control.
I also just wanted to add that the new Dove commercials and campaign have been really great. They are to empower women to be happy with who they are and how they look and to accomplish important roles in life. Good Job Dove!
I was still thinking about this post this morning.
I may be wrong, but it seems to me these girls are crying out for attention. And, because they didn’t get the attention they needed at home in their younger years, it has escalated to this type of behavior. Just a thought.
I know you’d never see my daughters in pictures like that! They know I’d make their life a living hell if they did stuff like that.
My cousin is on Facebook and when I ask to add him, he said “Sorry, I can’t. I did not even want my parents to be my friends.” So I asked him at least to create another dummy account so he can at least tell us how he is doing to a smaller extent.
With Facebook, I am more hold back. And for here, I am a little rowdy.
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All my opinions are in no representation of the company I work for;
nor related to my occupation.
*It is my opinion & always my very humble opinion only.*
Also FYI, English is my 2nd language.
Email: DollChina40@gmail.com
Yeah, I think you‘re right, Tulip, those girls didn’t get enough attention at home, from their fathers or their mothers. Girls learn what to expect from men from their fathers and from how their fathers treat them. There must be some pretty bad fathers out there, if this is what their daughters expect from men. And the mothers must not have set a good example, either. A girl learns how to act from her mother. But mothers have been blamed far too much, for everything. It’s about time the fathers started stepping up and realizing how their actions (and inaction) affect their children.
And both parents need to pay a lot more attention to their kids. Parents used to teach their children how to do things, like plant a garden and other life skills; now everyone goes off in a separate room to watch their own TV or surf the ‘Net on their own laptop. Where’s the positive interaction?
Don’t they see how they are sacrificing their daughters to the nastiest parts of society? They should be protecting their daughters and teaching them how to defend themselves.
I guess this stuck in my mind, too, Tulip.
My daughter doesn’t have a Facebook account. I do, but it is strictly limited to a few friends and closed to anyone else.
MB
)O(
“We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.”—Z. Budapest
“‘If God is male, then the male is god.’ . . . if our only images of the sacred are male . . . inevitably women will be devalued.”—Starhawk quoting Mary Daly
if I knew the internet was coming I would not have had children!
Being in Love is the finest cosmetic in the world!
I wonder how many of you have heard of the 14 year old girl was posting nude pictures of herself on myspace and is now being charged as a child pornographer. I don’t agree with these charges, but perhaps this will wake some parents up to being more involved and more aware of what their children are doing on the internet.
My 15-year-old goddaughter got caught doing this and faced that same exact possibility. She managed to avoid this punishment, but the girl who actually distributed the pics got in some serious trouble.
Not store candles, YOUR candles!
We live in a society that sexualizes little girls while at the same time repressing sexual expression in mothers and, goddess forbid, grandmothers! We must claim our own sexuality at the same time we protect young girls. Girls who sexting at 14 are giving up whatever guys want by the time they‘re twenty. I am something of an Auntie Mame to young women in their early 20s—and I am always telling them: “If you don’t get your orgasm in a hook-up, why are you doing it? Get yours. Value yourself. And use condoms!”
Parents have to take the responsibility for monitoring their teens’ online activity and enforcing a dress code.
Re. Facebook: I write about sex and use Facebook to promote my blog, www.sexyprime.typepad.com. Many of my “friends” on Facebook are also sex journalists or film producers or somehow in the industry. But the conversations are all over the place—politics, arts, the economy, cooking, everything. Since setting up the account a few months ago, I’ve only had one disgusting communique; and I put him in his place.
I suggested he rent one of the Bendover Boyfriend DVDs, purchase a harnass and dildo comparable in size to his equipment—and ask some total stranger to do to him what he had proposed doing to me.
You have some great lines in your essay, by the way. I laughed out loud several times. Yes, what is with the tongues—everywhere the tongues?!
So well put! My thoughts exactly. To me, it’s also about discretion. I am not naive to think young folks don’t have curiosities and act to resolve them, but to do so publicly is terribly harmful with potential long-term impact. I would hope my young loved ones never behave this way, but I will never say never. Even the best of kids can be swayed by their peers. But if they practice discretion, the harmful effects could be minimized, especially in the long run.
Thanks for speaking out about this!
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