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In our lifetime, we may have many friends, but the list of “real” friends will probably be very small. “Friend” comes with a loose definition, as there are different types we call friend. Each can have placement in our lives, but in a different way. You may have a friend who you have fun with, but would never feel comfortable telling your deepest secrets to. Then there is the friend who you can trust with anything; the type that walks beside you in life, a kindred spirit.  

What I consider to be the difference in fake friends and real friends...

Fake: Asks for favors often, but never offers to do favors for you. In fact, they may refuse or feel burdened if they do anything for you  

Real : Will offer to help before you even ask and if you do ask, they help out, willingly and without resentment  

Fake: Talks about you behind your back  

Real : If they have a problem with you, they discuss it, face to face, and in a respectful manner  

Fake: One-dimensional. They see only their needs and is oblivious to needs of others  

Real : They are in-tune enough to sense your pain, your needs and are supportive  

Fake: Full of excuses for why they have no time for you - often only coming around when they want something and that something isn’t YOU  

Real : Wants to make time for you because they genuinely enjoy being with you and "choose" to nurture the friendship  

Fake: Their actions don’t back up their words  

Real : Their actions are proportionate to their words, instilling trust and dependability  

Fake: Makes fun of your imperfections  

Real : Overlooks your imperfections and if you choose to improve yourself, they are encouraging and supportive. They may even join in.  

Fake: Will try to lead you down a destructive path, not caring where it takes you

Real : Will encourage you to go down a constructive path. They will be by your side as you do.  

Fake: Will drain your energy dry  

Real : Will enhance your energy  

Fake: Asks to borrow money often and never pays you back  

Real : Only asks to borrow money if it's a true need and always pays back in a prompt manner. Willing to lend you money, if need be  

Fake: Cuts you down  

Real : Builds you up  

Fake: You feel like running from, often getting negative vibes in their presence

Real : You feel like running to because they give off positive vibes

Friendships should not be taken for granted. We all need that extension. We should also ask ourselves how good a friend we are. It’s never too late to be a genuine friend. You and everyone around will reap the rewards.  

If you have genuine friends, nurture your “true” friendships. As a rose withers and dies, without being tended to, so does a friendship. It’s very sad to look back and have regrets about losing someone because you took them for granted. Don’t make excuses. Implement action!

by Katlyn


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