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Once again, my family has pulled out the drama card and I’m gonna need some advice on this one. Here’s the situation..... my mother is turning 70 on July 12. And I thought it would be nice if her children gave her a surprise birthday party. So I told my brothers and sisters about the idea and they all agreed that we should do it. The problem was that nobody but me really had the time to dedicate to planning this party.Because I’m a housewife, they all elected me to do everything and I really don’t mind doing it. Now here’s where the situation gets sticky.... I’ve already got everything planned.... the menu, the decorations, the guest list, I’ve even ordered invitations to be sent out. And I did all this by myself without any help from them. Now that everything is planned, they have a lot of ideas or suggestions and they want me to change what I’ve planned.

 My older brother calls me a control freak and says that I’m trying to shut them out of the plans. But they didn’t have time so why is everyone having a problem with what I did? Instead of supporting me, they are nit-picking at every little thing that I’ve done. I am so frustrated that I just want to call the whole thing off. Do you think that I’m being a control freak because I won’t do what they want?I just wanted to do something really special and nice for our mother and everyone else is turning it into a big drama-filled production.

      

                    HELP!!!!!!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 18, 2009
    • Good Morning Lovely, NO!!! you're not being a control freak girl have I been down that road before. I feel if they didn't step up to the plate when the opportunity presented itself in helping with the planning then they need to sit down and shut up!!!! If you took all your time out house wife or not and did all the planning and everything they should just go with it, if they want to make changes then if you have spent monies out of your pocket alone I'd ask for a refund from them and then they can handle it from there but don't throw in the towel on your mom she deserves the celebration. I pray it all works out well for all parties involved. Keep us posted on the outcome.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jun 18, 2009
    • I’ve been there as well, when we planned my grandfather’s 90th bday, everyone was on board, but it was myself and an aunt that made all the arrangements and pretty much paid for it all, we both did this over the phone from different states. At the last minute we were thrown new ideas, we listened laughed it off and said hey, if you want a band, that’s fine, pay for it and that will give our DJ a break. If you want chocolate cake, bring it, we love chocolate too, if what you are suggesting menu wise clashed with what we have, fine bring it, in our family we always have stragglers or uninvited people (it’s a Mexican thing, we always invite friends and friends invite friends) anywho we weren’t too thrilled with their suggestions and last minute efforts but we didn’t think (and rightly so) that once we okayed it and said hey just pay for it and bring it on...no changes were made.  

      Don’t throw in the towel, we thought about it, as family can get crazy, in the end it turned out to be a great party, we avoided the drama, everyone had a great time and there was plenty to eat.

      Hope it is a great turn out.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Jun 18, 2009
    • I’m not very good at giving advice but here It goes...Your not being a control freak at all, you were taking respocibilty and where were they when you did need suggestions and help? Didn’t you say they all elected you to do everything? And now that everythings done, they want to step up and change what you did. I don’t think thats right and you should keep things the way you did them, so when the next party comes around then you can let them know, they can plan It.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sandils1962 wrote Jun 18, 2009
    • You are not being a control freak.  They should have helped from the beginning.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Lawrence wrote Jun 18, 2009
    • Thanks for the advice ladies.... I’m not gonna change a thing I’ve spent too much time and money to change everything now.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janet Wooley wrote Jun 19, 2009
    • When the motive in your heart is pure and you have done everything you can and to the best of you ability pray for your enemies (not that your family is you enemy) but it’s opposition and where does that come from? Ask God to bless them as the scripture says, he can turn those things meant for evil to good for those who love him. Don’t let division creep into your heart. Enjoy what God has allowed you to do and have a wonderful time.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jun 19, 2009
    • Your not a control freak as Neicy said they should have spoken up before .... to late now

      Hope you have a great time and show us the pictures



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