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"What was that?"

Three rooms away, Jeff heard me pass gas. I didn't do it particularly loudly, either. The incident wouldn't be especially noteworthy, except that just an hour before, when we were in the same room, he hadn't heard anything I said about my father.  

I was holding my cell phone, still a little in shock from the phone message. My sister wasn't speaking to me; my mother wasn't speaking to me, but my father had called. That was something. Jeff walked into the room and said he was going to heat up leftovers for dinner. I told him my father called. He nodded and went into the kitchen.  

Okay , I thought. This is big news, and he didn't even ask what my father said, but that's all right. I don't need to be asked; I'll just share what the message was.  

I went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. "My dad called. He said he called to see how I was doing, but for me not to call back because he and my mom were going out to dinner, and that he'd try back another day." He wasn't mad at me! Someone in my family wasn't mad at me!  

Jeff turned to me holding restaurant leftovers. "Do you think Styrofoam can go in the microwave?"

"Jeff! Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I'm listening," he stuttered. "You said your dad called and that he and your mom were going shopping...”

"I haven't spoken to either of my parents since June !"

"Wow, you really haven't spoken to them in that long?"

"Do you live  here with me? Do you remember what's been going on with my family for the last month?" I was fully triggered now. "It's bad enough you can't understand how important this is, but you aren't even listening to me! What - there's just some noise over in the corner here where I'm sitting, but it's not worth paying attention to?"

"You're right; you're right; I wasn't listening. I'm sorry. I'm listening now; tell me what he said." He hugged me. "I know; you've been having a lot of problems with your family, and your dad called. That's great. I should have been listening."

I couldn't tell him anything until later, when I calmed down. I know I shouldn't expect him to understand the significance of things I tell him, no matter how obvious they seem to me. And I shouldn't talk to him about anything important when he hasn't eaten yet.  

Jeff came bounding in to me after my gassy moment, all excited. "Why do you think that is? How come I can hear you fart across the condo, but I can't hear you talk when you're next to me?"

"I don't know, Jeff," I said wryly. "Why do you think that is?"

"Because farts are more interesting than your family?"

I groaned and hit him with a couch pillow. He pinned me down in a big bear hug, smothering me with kisses, until I made him stop. I have to separate past from present. I have to get used to being treated well.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Sep 24, 2010
    • estatic gotta love family....and farts



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Sep 25, 2010
    • Sorry- I just don’t think insulting your family, then distracting you so you’ll shut up about talking to him about your dad is treating you well. frown



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Triggerhappy wrote Sep 27, 2010
    • Hi Anne E - yeah, I can see your point. I think I didn’t explain well enough. I feel that I’m not important or lovable when he doesn’t hear me - but he really does love me and try to listen, but he is a little ADD. I need to get used to someone who does want to listen and to talk to him when he asks to hear - not hold it inside because I feel ignored and am angry. It does seem to me that he should understand how important a call from a member of my family would be - but he isn’t me, and I can’t expect him to read my mind. I’m an adult now and really do need to console myself. : )



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