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I have been dating this man off for the last 6 months, he is generous, kind, attentive and treats me well. The tough part is the fact he has a cheating past, not with me but with his ex -wife. (For some reason, these kind of men appear in my life.)  Anyway, he told me the other day that a woman he spoke with on an online dating site is in town on business and they are going out for dinner. To give you a little background, the 2 never met, my boyfriend did not feel a connection to her after a few phone conversations and that coupled with the fact she lives 3 hours away, he decided not to pursue her for dating. But as it turned out through their conversations, the 2 of them shared connections through work and since have worked together in various different ways, but never met. This woman helped my boyfriend secure a contract with a business in which he was successful in getting and he promised her a dinner to compensate her for the referral. Time has gone by, probably a year or more since that, but now she is in town and wants to collect on her dinner he promised. He told me all about the dinner and is taking her out later this week, but I still feel very uncomfortable about it. I have expressed my feelings to my boyfriend and he is very understanding and insists it is nothing more than business and that he has no desire to pursue any kind of relationship with this woman. But I know this woman has other desires for him. She has made a point of staying in contact with him for the last 3 years since and sends him funny emails, etc. She texted him to let him know she was in town and I just get the feeling she wants more. It drives me crazy to know she will flirt with him while out for dinner because she would like to pursue a relationship, why else would she let him know she is in town and continue contact all these years. I didn't fall of the apple cart yesterday. I told my boyfriend all of this and he continues to assure me all is well and that the kind of work she does is contract and she is always in pursuit of new business. I told him to put the shoe on the other foot and he tells me he would have no problem with that because he knows I love him and wouldn't stray and that is enough.
Am I being overly sensitive and perhaps my insecurities of having a past boyfriend who lied and was very clever about telling me what I wanted to hear rather than the truth weighing on my mind? The fact they met on a dating site also bothers me, so the intent initially was to date even though he did not pursue her that way and they ended up being in business together.
Any advice is most welcome.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 15, 2013
    • If it’s strictly business, then he should have no problem taking you along to dinner, should he?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 16, 2013
    • Macy didn’t you have previous concerns about this man? Why would you be surprised by his response? Of course he has no doubts about you if you went out. You have already shown him that you accept his behavior.

      Is this the same one you have written about previously? If so run!!! If not then maybe you need to reevaluate what you are looking for in a man or into your own trust issues.



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