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I was just wondering if anyone out there has ever been so long they walk around in a cloud and  dont think they want to come out.. this is what is going on..

a few days ago we had a big fight at my house my step kids and hubby.. the 2 step kids that are/still/was/ living at home decided they no longer wanted to do chores listen to us or be respectful.they are 19 and 17. the 17 ear old decided he was gonna quit his job lie to us about it and then say to our faces he dont and wont work at all. the 19 year old tells me to my face that because i am her parent its my job to take her where she wants to go.. work. pay for her comp. anything eles. and that she could not and would not follow our rules then thows in my face that the little girls 7,8,9, should be doing all the chores...(they do do their share for there age) she bought a car that was a peice a shit and it failed inspection and needed fixxed she would not do anything i had to have her 17 year old find people to fix it..  there was such as big fight i throw her out.. remember i also throw my oldest step daughter out at 21 for something not much different then this about 6 months ago.. and the 17 year old got into it with his father and called the police saying he didnt want to live here anymore and wanted to go life with his birthmother.. the police said because his birthmother had her rights taken away when they were little the only way he could go was for a few days and with his fathers perrmisstion.. he allowed him for a few days.. he still is there but will be back home tonight. i feel so bad for my husband he is hurting so bad..he took these kids when their mother didnt want them and now they run to her. i dont know who they are trying to hurt more me or him.. if its me i dont care i took care of these kids for 14 years i am only a step mom but my husband hurts and i dont know what to do.. i am rambleing on and on because i really dont know how i feel...i am hurt by them, but i have become acustumed to the pain they cause me..its sad how i fell so conflicted ..


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • Tammy, It’s going to take standing up to these kids and telling them they either follow the rules or they are out, you may have to wait until the 17 year old is 18. Past 18 your job has been done, if they are going to live under your roof, they should follow your rules. I’ve had to do that with my oldest when he moved back in, we sat down, went through my list of rules, asked him if he had issue with following through if he had any issues with anything then he would not have stayed in my home. It’s hard to do, but if you do it together you should have each others support and let the kids know you mean what you say. Good luck.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Jul 22, 2009
    • I read your blog with great interest. Lola is right.
      Something you wrote bothers me though...
      you said "i took care of these kids for 14 years i am only a step mom but" . If you took care of them for all of those years then YOU are their mother , not by birth but by the fact that you were there for them when their own birth-mother was not! Something has gotten them riled up! If they think they can play the "guilt" game & expect you & your husband to bow down to their wants, then maybe it's time they learned ADULT responsibility. Any thing you've paid for in the past, that was not court-ordered, or necessary for their essential needs, then STOP footing the bill. Cancel cell phones, take away TV's, etc. in their rooms, insurance on cars you own but they don't pay for anything to help. These things get their attention quicker than anything else.
      Maybe a little time at dear old birth-moms house just might be the wake-up those two ungrateful teenagers need. I used that term on purpose as they are still in their teens!
      Good luck, your in my prayers & I know you are worried about your husband. I just hope he isn’t allowing them to emotionally blackmail him, because that’s what this sounds like.

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