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This time of year is so difficult for so many.  I was just on the phone with a good friend who is having family issues and it's due to the holidays.  Why is it because of these dates on the calendar there has to be all kinds of changes, disruptions, compromises, etc? I'm totally one for tradition and love my Christmas Eve big fish dinner but life has to be more flexible.  This year is the perfect example in my life.  I lost my dad, my aunt, my uncle, my office job and now I'm having some serious difficulties at home.  Do I feel like partaking in holiday festivities at all?  No.  However, I am who I am and I share and teach how we have to keep moving forward – so I am moving forward.

Grief & Loss  

So as you see, for the last five months it's been a lot of loss and grief.  The past month it's been a lot of loss and more grief over a different situation, not a death but it feels like one. I'm probably in one of the worst times of my life right now.  With all that is going on around me someone came to my home the other day and said, "Wow, you still put up a tree this year?" and my response was, "Yes, I needed to keep doing what I normally do or I'd crawl under a rock", and I truly meant that. I can keep the stability I need in my life so why wouldn't I?  My friends and family keep telling me its okay to cry and I need to cry; I agree 100%.  I definitely need to experience the grief and not hold it in because that doesn't work.  It always finds me eventually.  So I'm crying, sharing, being open with everyone and asking for support this time.  That's different for me.  I'm usually the one helping, guiding, suggesting, advising, listening, etc.  I never want to burden or bother anyone with my issues but not this time.  I am seeking support and that makes a world of difference in my life and I believe in most others lives. With that, I need to keep up my normal day to day activities; as many as I'm able to anyway.  It's not easy and not always doable but at least I am doing my best.

Moving Forward and Having Support  

I still went out 5:00am on Black Friday.  I still put up my tree and decorated it and I'm still going to celebrate with good friends and family.  It's what I need to get through this rough patch.  I've been reminded more than ever good friends and family means everything.  Without a support system this time around, I would've fell apart.  I truly believe that and I'm usually someone who can keep it together.

Still Making Good Decisions  

Through it all I'm still making good decisions.  I am eating healthy and I haven't even made my favorite December drink yet so I do not take in the extra calories so early in the season.  Usually I make it right before or after Thanksgiving but I thought about it this year and said why take in all those empty calories already? So, I'm doing well with keeping as healthy as possible through it all right now. Bravo to me!!!  I'm not running away from the issues but I am keeping myself afloat with positive thoughts, affirmations, friends and family.

It's Not Easy But We Can Get Through This  

The holidays are soon upon us and we can't change that but we can change the way we view them or react to them or feel about them.  I keep telling myself "Marion– you are always telling people they can change their thought to change their lives" so I am doing the same.  I even read some of my own articles as well as others. It may not happen all at once but we can make the holidays better.  If you had loss in your life this year I'm truly sorry, it's not easy when the holidays come around but do your best to do all you can to take care of you.  You are worth it.  You are still here and your loved ones would want to see you happy.  If you are going through other issues right now do your best to have a support system and keep them close to your heart.  Do something a little different this year if that helps.  If doing the same thing helps then do it.  Do whatever is right for you.  I will be.  Happy Holiday season to you!!!




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Dec 15, 2011
    • Thank you! I am having one of the worst couple of years ever. Lost my father, 2 aunts and uncle and several young friends. My husband and 2 of my children were in a car accident in September 2010 and that resulted in him being out of work for 6 months and now suffers horrible with back and neck pain. But,he is back to work at a wonderful new career he started in August being a school teacher..we have been blessed with that. But due to the time out of work, we just lost our home in a tax sale. We have 24 months to vacate or pay up, praying on that one. And the hardest thing of all was my daughter being an addict and being on the streets for over a year and contracting a horrible illness and almost dying in July. She spent 46 days in the hospital and came home for a couple of weeks and ended up back on the streets but got arrested. She ended up in a rehab and now...she has been home about a month Clean and sober and working a program with a sponsor and meetings and praise God, seems to be on the right track this time. My point...I never lost my faith..not for a second. I continued on as best I could through all of it. I am stronger for all of this. I think your strength and conviction to “normalcy” is inspirational and I thank you for sharing it! I hope things are improving for you! Have a great day!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Diane17 wrote Dec 15, 2011
    • Wonderful article Marion!  I’m sorry for all your losses you have experienced.  I myself almost lost my job but managed to find one and am good for now.  My hubby also found a job but it is temporary.  I’m grateful we both have jobs right now.

      My oldest brother Robert got divorced last year and I know it is a very hard time of year for him.  They were married over 20 years and close to 25 years.  This year, he will be alone at home for Christmas as all the kids are going over to their moms. So, he MAY be coming over to our house.  He really does want to so I hope it does happen.  He doesn’t like to come over to our house because it’s too far away (well for him it is but it really isn’t).  And I’ve invited my other brother and his family too.  This will be the first family gathering we have had in years too if it happens.

      This time of year is hard for me because I remember the good old days when both my parents were alive and even though they were divorced, they would both go over to my oldest brother’s house and he would entertain them and my siblings and their families.  Now with our parent’s deaths and his divorce, things have drastically changed.  I have my own family though and I am grateful for them...I really am.

      I wish you a Merry Christmas and I send you lots of hugs!  heartheartheart

      Diane



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kmore3 wrote Dec 15, 2011
    • Definitely a hard year.  Thankful, I have not lost anyone this year.  My mom had a stroke, my husbands job ended in July and has been hit and miss since then.  My company was bought out and just last week lost my job—- Merry Christmas right?  But I have a tree up even though it took about a week and a half before fully decorated, and i am trying to motivate to do some baking and present shopping.  Life is difficult for so many these days - this economy is awful...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Dec 15, 2011
    • Thank you so much for that wonderful comment Carnelian.  I’m sorry you went through all of that.  I’m so happy to hear things are looking brighter for you.  I am dealing with a situation with someone with an addiction also so I feel very much for you. It’s not easy... Keep the faith



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Dec 15, 2011
    • Thank you so much for sharing Diane... It’s been a tough year for so many and the holidays add to it.. we just have to keep in the best spirits we can be in.. right?  Keep being grateful for your family.  Mine dwindled down to nothing...it’s a very strange year for me but I will get through it!!!!! Merry Christmas to you too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Dec 15, 2011
    • Kmore.. it is difficult but let’s all get through it together.  I need to get motivated to bake some cookies.  Tomorrow I will do that... I am not buying gifts this year.. probably the first year ever but I just can’t and that’s okay.. I will continue doing everything else.  I hope your 2012 is better.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Dec 21, 2011
    • Praying for you Marion!

      Hub and I have had a very tough year...our son was in a terrible car accident in 2010 and now is getting his life back to order since October when he enrolled in a fitness training school...it was a tough road for him, he is 24 and living with us, but looks to 2012 as being a good year.

      Hub and I have had health issues this year, but we keep looking ahead and eat well, exercise and keep a good mental outlook.

      I am praying that 2012 is a happy and blessed year for all!!

      heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Dec 21, 2011
    • Ohhh I’m so happy he is doing better.  A good positive attitude is truly the best medicine... keep thinking good thoughts for a healthy future for all of you.

      It will be a great year!!!!!



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