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See Love Detective Part 1 Click Here 

So your guy doesn't tell you he loves you as much as you would like and you feel you can't be happy without hearing those three little words more often.

I suggest a whole new approach in getting the love you want, begin searching for the clues of your man's devotion in his everyday behavior. You really do need to be a detective to do this.

Detectives collect evidence objectively and then analyze the clues for the answer. Objectively is the key word! Sometimes it is near impossible to stay objective when it comes to affairs of the heart, but you have read this far so I know I am talking to the right woman.

With tongue firmly in cheek, here are some clues that I have found in my own relationship, see if you can recognize similar things with your guy!

1. Micro-managing: What? I can just hear you say, "I hate being micro-managed", I know, I do too! But, I have started to realize that he only micro-manages out of love. I used to be annoyed when I heard, "Don't forget to lock the door." Or " It's snowing out there and the roads are slippery, better drive slow!" Now I choose to see it differently.   Translation: I love you!

2. Leaving his belongings around the house: Just think, he trusts that you won't take, steal or destroy his stuff as it litters the house. Translation: I trust you.

3. His symphony of body noises: His ability to produce his noises no longer needs to be censored, what freedom. His freedom to be himself with you. Translation: I feel comfortable with you.

4. Sports on TV: Now you can run your errands, have coffee with a friend or go to the bookstore to read a current magazine. His attention to something other than you shows his trust that you will always be there for him. Translation: I adore you!

5. Weak Calendar Skills: Knowing you will remind him of important dates, he let's go of the need to remember anniversaries and birthdays, especially the obscure ones like the first date. Translation: Every day is like a holiday with you, baby.

Ladies, your man loves you. He is becoming more and more comfortable with you and in his way, he is showing you love and acceptance. While you may need to hear those three little words more often, if you continue to look for evidence of his regard for you in his comfort with you, it won't be long before your acceptance of him will change the atmosphere in your home.

When you are feeling less stressed and insecure about the lack of love language from him, you will be able to ask for what you want. When you COACH your man into being a soul mate to you, he will be much more responsive than if you nag him into it. Men are used to being coached. Coaching assumes mutual respect. Coaching also allows that the skill the coach is strengthening is already there, just undeveloped.

When he realizes that what you truly want is to FEEL more loved and that you are willing to learn more ways to get there than hearing those three little words, it won't be long before he will actually be saying "I love you" because you have paved the way.

Your man loves you. With your Love Detective skills you will see more evidence every day and he will soften toward you as you accept him as he is.


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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 7, 2009
    • 3. His symphony of body noises: His ability to produce his noises no longer needs to be censored, what freedom. His freedom to be himself with you. Translation: I feel comfortable with you.

      Don’t mean to be rude or spoil your outpoured love but what if I am not comfortable with him doing that?  Wear a gas mask?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Feb 7, 2009
    • LOL Chinadoll, wear a gas mask??  That’s the best line I’ve ever heard regarding farts..I’m gonna use that one..Thanks...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • I say it’s a crock of crap.  Why must we “learn” and accept what they (men) do and not do as a sign of love, trust, adoration and freedom????  What a bunch of BS!!  IMHO

      xoxo



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Doreen: This is called UNCONDITIONAL love - love till it hurts, stings and smells. happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • I say enough already!!  happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Catherine Behan wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Tongue in cheek Ladies, tongue in cheek!!  I love all of your comments!  As usual, the Fab40 crowd entertains and enlightens.

      I may stretch our limits with my ideas but in a way, acceptance speaks volumes about our own self concept.  When I am not distracted by small annoyances, I can speak my mind firmly and make simple direct requests.

      Personally, the micro-managing has been my pet peeve and once I chose to NOT let it bug me (my choice) and then teased him about it...“You‘re not micro managing are you?” I gained stature in my own eyes.

      Next step, giggling I ask, “Do you want me to micro-manage you?”  “Point taken.”  he said.

      We all have to find our own way to communicate our needs to our men. When I let the small stuff go, he listens more intently to my requests.

      I am still a newlywed, just three years in, and delighted to be doing this marriage differently than my first.

      I know my hubby loves me and it is MY responsibility to open up and FEEL loved, not his.  I think he feels that and it looks like that opens him to me in sweet tangible ways!

      Love you all!!
      Catherine



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote May 16, 2009
    • I guess I’m one that needs and wants to hear the three little but powerful words. If I have to be a detective that sounds feels like snooping, worrying and insecurity to me. I like to hear it and know it without a doubt and not just during sexual intercourse.

      I just had a vision. If I have to go around my relationship with a magnifying glass looking for signs of love, he must not be doing his share of anything.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote May 16, 2009
    • This whole thing sounds like the woman should step aside and simply let him behave like a cave-man, while we then look at those disgusting habits as signs of love????

      I’m sorry, but a guy who strews his clothes about the house does not “trust” you...he is a slob and would also do that in the middle of Grand Central Station without a second thought.

      I agree with 47. “If I have to go around my relationship with a magnifying glass looking for signs of love, he must not be doing his share of anything.”



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