Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.


I would like to get some feedback on a sensitive subject.
I have a “friend” (lol) that was with someone and they have now broken up.  The ex has a trait called a “flirting personality“.  

I know this can gather all sorts of opinions, so I am open to all.

Is it ok to be a flirt when you are in a relationship with someone?  My feeling is this, flirting attracts people.  The flirter may be fine flirting and knowing they mean nothing by it, but does the person on the other end know that?  I find that it sends mixed signals to the other person in the relationship and the person being flirted on.
The ex said there is no harm in this and it is not hurting anyone.  I think that it does hurt people.  Just not the one initiating it.  They are having fun and knowing there is nothing behind it, or is there?



  •  

Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisad64 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Thank You..yep..I know this will drawl many opinions.
      Thanks again  :)



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • teek...i agree 100%.

      I would not be at all ok with my hubby flirting, even a little. And I would not do it either out of respect for our marriage.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisad64 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Here is what I witnessed while with both parties: Rubbing, voice change, phone exchange(friend thing in their eyes), texting....



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • yup definite death to the hubz for that!!!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • As Tori said once on a blog.... Hit him in the head with a hammer!!! haha



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • People perceive things differently. Something that might be considered as flirting to one person may not be to the other.
      I think if you are somewhat a bit of a flirt that’s just part of your personality but it’s very disrespectful to your partner if you know this bothers them and you continue to do it. The flirter may see it as harmless but the flirtee may see it in a whole other way depending on where they are emotionally. They may think your feelings are genuine, back you into a corner one day and call your bluff, you won’t even know what hit you...lol.

      BUT...
      Rubbing!? Phone# exchange!? That’s not innocent that’s something totally different.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Girl, I remember to many things... Good for me...Sad for my husband. LOL!!!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisad64 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Ya Know,,Im glad I joined this site.....You ladies have given me good feedback...Now, am I going to get the opposite opinions once the others have awoken?  LOL



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • yeah...that’s WAAAAAAAY beyond flirting. My hammer would be out and swinging!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • This is a loaded issue!  

      First off, let me say that I am NOT a flirter.  However, people who may not know me well may think that I am.  I am an outgoing individual who enjoys people.  I’m friendly, engaging, and genuinely like getting to know people.  But there are boundaries that not everyone understands.

      I once had a boss who thought I was coming on to him....long story short...it was wishful thinking on his part and he was just looking for an excuse to step out on his wife.    

      But I digress...anyway, the low-voices, rubbing, phone thing is over the line.  

      When conversations get inappropriate, that is over the line.

      Here’s the thing...If it becomes a conversation or situation that would make your significant other uncomfortable..then it’s too much.  And in a serious, committed relationship, each spouse should value the relationship and know one another well enough to realize what’s beyond their partner’s comfort level.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Raysa Santana wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Perfectly said Peejay.  I couldn’t agree with you more.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Hi Ladies,

      I have been told I flirt - but not in a offensive or suggestive way...  and I’m certainly NOT trying to flirt...  My friends have told me it’s by the way I smile and talk and make people feel COMFORTABLE and IMPORTANT...  Even when I’ve been in relationships I haven’t changed how I interact with people and I’ve never had a boyfriend get upset with me.  (and that just might be luck - I don’t know)

      HOWEVER, I would never even think of doing something that would make my bf jealous or think I was trying to hit on another... Nor would I do anything to make another spouse or date jealous... The rubbing, phone number exchange, texting - YIKES!!  That’s way over the top...  And completely inappropriate...  

      As someone said earlier, it also makes a difference if it’s a group of people you know well...  There’s a whole different comfort level with friends than with total strangers...

      If this “friend” of your’s were someone I was dating, he’d be GONE from my world in an instant....



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I’d have kicked him to the curb!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisad64 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Thank you all for your feedback.  This was really important to hear.  My “friend” thanks you all!  :)



            Report  Reply


About this author View Blog » 
author