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Ohh, you’ll like this one...

I scheduled an appointment to have ‘We Clean America’ clean my apartment. They were due between 7:00 a.m.-8:00 a.m. Finally jumping out of bed at 6:30, I was convinced I had 30 minutes to shower, shampoo and shine. I was completely finished by 7:02 a.m. - not bad! At 8 o‘clock, I get a call: “Hi, we‘re about ten minutes away.” Of course you are! Ugh.

Now, most people I know who use a cleaning lady/person/crew typically clean the house before the housekeeper shows up. I don’t get that. If she’s coming to clean my house, she’s coming to clean. my. house.

Crew C6 showed up, ready to go. I gave them specific instructions (clean windows, leave radio on, leave A/C on, leave fans on, keep dressing room and bathroom doors open, front door closed) then left for work.

I get home, take a look around: windows clean, window sills not clean; A/C off, fans off, radio off (switched to a Spanish-language station, I might add); doors closed. sigh I'm on the phone with The Princess, telling about the cleaning crew, walking through the apartment opening doors, turning on fans, etc. I sit on the bed, listening and surveying. I gasp. "Ohmygawdohmygawdohmygawd!" I say it over and over. The Princess is thisclose to driving over. Then I start laughing. Laughing hysterically: hahahahahahahahasnorthahahahahaha inhale hahahahahahahahahahahahasnorthaha. "What? WHAT?! Are you okay??" I tell her...

“I keep five things on my nightstand: 2 remotes - TV and stereo, my eyeglasses case, the digital alarm clock and a lamp. The remotes are on the dresser, next to the stereo. The eyeglasses case, clock and lamp are here; but something looks weird. I’m staring at it...staring at it...staring at it...and realize I’m looking at my Winnie the Pooh vibrator on top of the nightstand!” I thought The Princess was going to hyperventilate from laughing so hard. “You can never use them to clean your place again. And you have to boil Winnie then let him soak in alcohol overnight.”

Mom was right - I really shouldn’t leave my toys laying around the house.


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