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Which will win out - my cynicism or my empathy for Elizabeth Edwards? It's a close tie. Am I surprised Pretty Boy Johnny E. dropped his pants when he shouldn't have? No. Had I hoped their marriage was really as strong and supportive as it looked from the outside? Yes. Did I deep down believe it was? No, but I didn't think he would stoop so low as to have an affair while his wife was battling cancer.

Why is it so much worse that he did? Because he, in effect, kicked her while she was down and couldn't defend herself. Admitedly, how do you "defend" yourself when you learn your husband has been screwing another woman whether you're battling cancer or not? At least if you aren't decimated by chemo you can scream at the so-and-so for as long and as loud and as often as you feel. Elizabeth didn't have that luxury. Even if she was "in remission" (what difference does it make anyway?) she was still battling a life-threatening disease - and thanks to the stress and emotional upheaval from Pretty Boy Johnny's antics her cancer returned with a vengeance. Thank you so much honey - your support is overwhelming.

I don't fault her for staying in the marriage. I know, from experience, it isn't always within reach to kick him onto the street. If you have more integrity and fortitude than he does (and unless you've been unfaithful too you definitely have more integrity than him) - then you think of the child or children first - you look at the history, both good and bad, that you share - you weigh your choices - and then you suck it up and hold your head as high as possible and go on with the business of living.  For some that may mean walking or kicking him out. For others it means turning the page and trying to write another chapter in your life. Just like a pregnancy there is always a pre-event and post-event time frame. There is no erasing the event regardless of the outcome. It is a life mark event.

Elizabeth Edwards chose to write another chapter in the marriage. I respect that. My heart also bleeds for her. I wish her nothing but the best. John Edwards does not deserve her - but then who in this life gets what they deserve - good or bad?


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