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Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.        

When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gags himself.        

A penny saved is a government oversight.      

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.      

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.        

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement      .

He who hesitates is probably right.     &nb sp;

Did you ever notice:   The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘XL.’      

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.    ;    

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.        

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.      

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

Did you ever notice:  When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’  

  

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.  

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.  It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today, it’s called golf.

 Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement  so true

      If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody  yes, ty



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • my number 1 is:

      ” Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth... AMEN! ”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • I thought they were all worthy enough to share....they got  a grin out of me....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wittymom wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand tightly  over my mouth...AMEN..! (I had to revise that one for me because I'd probably keep mumbling)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Psalmist wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gags himself.        

      A penny saved is a government oversight.      

      The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.      

      The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.        

      Loved these in particular...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Jan 25, 2009
    • LOL..The algebra and dried up remarks...LOL
      Thank you my friend for a giggle and the smiles this morning.
      Have a great day!
      Friends,
      Ree



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