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Are you tired of holding it in?  Your body probably is!  It is not good for us to hold in our anger.  It ends up getting “stuck” in our bodies and causes us all kinds of trouble.

How do you know you are bottling up anger?  

Listen to your body.  Are you tense?  Knot in your tummy?  Tension in your neck?

Watch your actions.  Are you snapping at others?  Irritable and easily annoyed?

Time to do something.  Instead of holding it in or taking it out on others, get mad directly and express it.  Try this powerful tool for getting out anger.

1.  Get the person to listen to you.  Tell them you understand where they are coming from.

I understand you................

2.  Now tell them how you feel.  By the way, “I feel you should ....” is not a feeling!
Instead, try, I feel...(angry, frustrated, taken advantage of, etc)

3.  What do you need?  People usually can’t give us what we need if we don’t tell them what that is.  Tell them what you need from them.

I need you to......................

4.  And if that doesn’t work(which it usually does,) add a consequence.  Check out this example.

I understand you were just having fun when you teased me at the party in front of your friends.

I feel humiliated and angry when you joke about my weight to others.

I need you to stop joking about my weight.

If you continue to tease me like that in public, I will confront you in front of your friends.

Simple.  Just practice saying it straight and see how good it feels to get it out.  

Have a great week!

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