This year, like so many other years, I got a certain wild-eyed enthusiasm during the second week of December that has made me antsy to get into the kitchen and whip up something foodie-fancy for Christmas giving.

However, since for the other eleven months and three weeks of the year I typically avoid the kitchen as if it contains the black plague of death, I have no have baking supplies on-hand. Neither do I have appropriate pans, recipes, or a single clue as to where to begin.

Last week, when the urge overtook me, Scott immediately went into hiding and I went to the internet. I decided to put my 150+ followers on twitter to the test, figuring that at least one of these folks would have a really cool idea. I was looking for something unique, something that would be so completely feathermaye, but without the insecurity and thirty extra pounds.

And I found it! One particularly stellar little twit(terer) sent me a link to a [Link Removed] on baking pies in pint-sized jars! The blog was brilliant, and--all things considered--it seemed pretty easy to pull off. Plus, what a great little gift, right??

Unfortunately, I’m not much of a pie kind of person. I’m also known for not giving gifts that I wouldn’t want to receive myself, so the idea of giving pies, even cute little personal-sized pies made by my own hands, didn’t quite grab me by the short hairs. (Scott’s idea of individual-sized pot pies is interesting, but not for Christmas! Maybe a future blog in that? We’ll see.)

So today, not quite ready to let the idea go, I turned to google for an alternative to the pie-in-a-jar idea. Immeidately I was thrilled to be presented with so many recipes for cakes, breads and even cookies—all of which were baked in jars. I found explicit instructions on shopping, prepping, baking and storing; there were scrumptious pictures that made my mouth water; and the recipes were so easy that even I could totally see me pulling it off.

That wild-eyed enthusiasm took complete hold of me at that point and I started making lists of recipients, of stuff to be bought and ingredients to be stocked-up on! My fingers were flying across the keys and I was filling up a new bookmarks folder faster than you can say Ctrl-B. I could already see little printed labels announcing the contents, with festive ribbons and bows on little pint-sized jars of love!

Aren’t you excited? Doesn’t just the idea of that make you think of holiday foods and family gatherings? Don’t you totally hope that you‘re on my list of recipients for such a neat little gift??

Well, get over it. It ain't gonna happen. Because, apparently, Botulism runs amuck in canned breads and cakes. In fact, according to [Link Removed] published by Penn State University,

Several years ago, a professor of Food Science at Penn State University developed a recipe for canned bread. It was carefully formulated so that acid and moisture levels would prevent the growth of Clostridium botulinum spores during room temperature storage. The product can be safely made as long as the original Penn State recipe is followed exactly as written. However, there is a significant risk that the creative cook may make ingredient substitutions or omissions that could significantly change the pH of the product such that conditions might be more favorable for growth of Clostridium spores.  

What they don’t tell you, though, are the ingredients and/or instructions for the only freakin’ recipe that’s oh-so-safe for this little project. No clue as to where to find it! And in this aspect, google failed me grandly.

I know, I know... You’ve probably done breads and cakes in jars for years and never even considered the botulistic potential, but I’m telling you right now that if there’s any chance a food product will kill someone, it most assuredly will if gifted from me. That’s why I stay the hell out of the kitchen in the first place.

So, back to the drawing board I go. Back to considering pies that I probably won’t eat (which, when considering those thirty extra pounds, is probably a good thing anyway), or moving on to normal old regular cakes, breads and cookies. Or, in a desperate move to keep it unique to me, maybe I’ll go ahead and give Scott’s pot pie idea a chance. I’ll keep you posted...

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