I wonder where the term "golf widow" came from in the first place.

I spend a lot of time doing my own thing while my man is on the golf course and believe me, I don't wear black and mourn!! After going through a couple of seasons away from the game because of a health challenge, I am back playing, though not nearly as often as my honey.

It was my first husband's passion about golf that got me into the game in the first place. I was 22 and quickly surmised that if I wanted to spend time with him, I needed to take up golf. Fortunately, I LOVED it. As a matter of fact, I became consumed with the game on my own. But I do have him to thank for getting me into golf in the first place.

But golf WIDOW? Yikes! What a stark and awful image. Ladies, if your hubby or main squeeze is spending too much time with golf....I challenge you to an attitude adjustment! Let me let you in on a secret....he is still alive and you are NOT a widow! Ha!

There are ways to reconnect with your man USING GOLF as a tool to build your relationship. Here are 5 tips to help you get out of that widow garb and get out there and FLIRT with your man!

1. Find a friend who is in the same boat and make a plan. Most of us have friends whose life mirrors our own. Surely you know another woman who is spending a lot of time alone while her man golfs. Between you, create a plan to explore golf to see if there is a gateway for you to begin to enjoy the game.

2. Find an instructor who will split a lesson between the two of you. Working in a small group as you are experimenting with golf is really fun. Golf is such a social game and it can be great fun to get together with girl friends to practice before grabbing a bite of lunch. We get together to shop and eat, couldn't we also putt and eat?

3. Ask for a short game lesson first. Get familiar, really familiar with putting and chipping. There is no reason that a woman cannot excel at the short game. Two cool advantages here: one, men admire a woman who knows her way around the green and two, it sets you up for a great date night. Imagine this scenario: You invite your shocked husband to a putting practice session followed by cocktails or dinner, you can spin a great romantic evening out of this!

4. Join Women on Course. This is the coolest group ever.  I love the nine hole play dates called Dine and Wine.  Women who want to socialize and explore golf are meeting all over the country through this great membership site.  There is an event in San Diego today and I can't wait to go.  Beginners are more than welcome and you can get all the info you need at the site!

5.  Never call yourself a golf widow again!! Begin to see yourself as a member of the golf community.  If your man LOVES the game, he will love your interest, trust me.  Sometimes guys tease about not wanting "the last bastian of male dominance sullied by female invaders," but there are plenty of others who are craving your company out there.  As you become more comfortable and confident, he will respond to you with respect.  I love putting contests with my husband.  We frequenty practice together and we both enjoy spending the time together.

Golf Widow?  Not me.  I am a golfer who plays less frequently than my man and I treasure my time with him on the course.  I am carving out a place in golf that is uniquely my own.  Developing my OWN golf confidence, separate from him is making me a better player.  Our golf dates are more romantic because of MY attitude.  I don't know about you but I LOVE romance and golf dates are so easy once you know a few basics!!