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Are you someone who is grieving or has had some kind of loss?  I would like to share a great book for anyone grieving.  It helped me a few years ago when I had a few things happen to me at once and again now. When I thought about what really helped me when I had a lot of loss a few years ago I quickly remembered one of the things was "The Grief Recovery Handbook".  If you feel like you are never going to stop grieving, whether it's been a week, a month or ten years; I would suggest you give this book a shot.  You have nothing to lose.

They explain how grief comes in many forms.  

Death of person or pet

Divorce

Break up

Losing a job

Retirement

A child heading off to college or moving out

Ending an addiction

Moving

and the list goes on.

I recently experienced three of the losses on this list so I decided to read the book again and I'd like to share some information that might help you or spark your interest to read it.  I must say, it even helps with relationships you are currently in if there is/was a loss of trust or other issues.

Grief comes in many shapes and forms.  For me, in the beginning it was mostly numbness and a lot of sadness and crying.  It graduated to not being able to concentrate as well or keeping one thought for an extended period of time.  Some experience not sleeping or over sleeping while others experience over eating or loss of appetite.  Everyone's grief is unique.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  It will be different for all of us but the one thing to realize is it is okay.  It feels like depression but it's grief.  It's natural and it happens to all of us at one time or another.

What I learned this time around is you have to* talk to someone* .  For me it was family and friends.  Get as much support as you can.  If you are not willing to talk about a death or divorce or any of the above then you haven't quite come to terms with it yet and that means at some point it will show up in another way.  You also want to make sure you don't only want to talk about all the good.  No one was perfect before they died or before you got divorced.  You must be willing to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly in order to get through it. Of course you do not only want to focus on the negative either.

This book covers all the things we were told as kids and even now as adults that people truly believe.  Things such as "Time heals all wounds", "Don't feel bad", "He lived a long life so it was his time", "Just keep busy", "You are young, you can have more children", "Oh, I know how you feel, I lost my ...".  All of these sayings for the most part helped us to suppress our feelings.  Does time heal all wounds or do we have to heal them?  If your baby just died should you not feel bad because you can have more children? Should I not feel bad when my marriage is splitting up or my dad died – really?  He lived a long life – and that doesn't make me feel any better.  Just keep busy so you can forget everything and in the future it will pop up when least expected.  No one knows exactly how you feel.  Every loss is totally different.   Some people even tried to tell me about situations that were worse than mine thinking I'd feel better about mine. I totally understand thinking on the bright side as I do that with everything else in my life as much as humanly possible but there are some things you must work through in order to get through them.

The book helped me to realize I should probably say "I don't know how you feel but I know how I felt when my dad died" or "I can't even imagine what you are going through".  Just be there for the person to listen.  My friends and family were and still are there for me and I can't thank them enough. When I call them up crying they still just listen and console me.

I never realized this until I read the book but you have to recover from grief.  It doesn't happen over night so don't expect it to.  I am learning that the hard way.  It does get better and better then sometimes worse again. It is a roller coaster but that's okay as bad as it feels.  It's all part of healing.

This book is also a workbook so it outlines steps to feel more complete about the death, divorce, job loss, move or whatever your loss is.  There are a few different steps but it's worth it.  If you are ready to start your recovery or healing process it's a great resource.

The name of the book is "The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman. I am not receiving any compensation from reviewing this book, it is just my opinion from two separate times I've read it and took the action steps as advised.  It helped me both times.  It may or may not help you. If you really are grieving and don't know where to turn or need some direction I'd at least consider it.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nathalie Girard wrote Feb 21, 2012
    • Thank you for the reference. I sure need it these days!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Feb 21, 2012
    • You are welcome...it really did help both times.   If you ever need to talk .. I’m here...  

      xxoo



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote Feb 21, 2012
    • Thank you for the info Marion! Lately, I’ve been feeling so bummed out about aging, disliking so much about what I see in the mirror...will this book help?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Feb 22, 2012
    • Hi Linda... this book is more for grief and loss... that would be more of a book on changing your thought or self confidence.  I hear what you are saying about not liking what you see because you’ve changed over the years but Love yourself and accept yourself (as much as humanly possible)for who you are... I’m sure you are absolutely beautiful inside and out.  I have a lot of clients that get bummed out as they age ...and hey I’m going to be 48 in two days too...but age is a number and we see some wear and tear on the outside yes..but we have to learn to see beyond that as we would if it was someone other than ourselves.  estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote Feb 22, 2012
    • Hi Marion. I guess I was thinking about grieving the loss of youth and afraid of getting older. Of course, I can’t turn back the clock... Thanks for your wisdom and kind words. happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Feb 22, 2012
    • You can’t change back the clock but you can change back the clock in your mind.. LOL...  reset that thing!!!! LOL... You are very welcome...and i do know what you mean but I’m not sure this book will help with that.



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