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I am a big believer in taking the time to properly groom.  Yes, that means of course, the basics......deodorant flossing/mouthwash....actually a trade mark of mine is baby powder all over the place.....my husband is forever following me around with a rag to wipe the powder off the black clothes I always am doning....but besides those everyday essentials....there are a few other things that one should keep in mind:                                                                      

LADIES:  

1  If you have a mustache......for god sake.....wax it.....no bleach....YOU CAN STILL SEE IT.....did you ever see a girl with some serious lip hair........when you talk to her it is hard not to stare.

2.  If you have gray roots......please dye them....Unless of course, you are allergic to hair dye...

3.  Makeup....I don’t care how busy you are.....you can take 5 minutes to put on some lipstick and mascara....you  know you will run into an ex-boyfriend if you run out to the store without it....

3.  Baggy sweatpants and clothes....not attractive....even if your butt is huge......baggy will make it look bigger.....and you know that ex boyfriend will look hot.

4.  Pedicures.....OK, if you don’t want to spend the money on a professional one.......cut, file and PAINT YOUR TOENAILS....number one...it makes you happy when you look down at your feet and see a pretty color and number two.....if you wear open toe shoes.....you can spare us all the agony of looking at feet that resemble horse hooves.....

5.  Same goes for manicures....do you really need for people to think your hands look like feet?

6.  Bikini area grooming......get waxed...shave...Nair.....whatever....just don’t look like you have a rat’s nest down there.....Ugh.........

7.  If you have a big zit on your face and it has a white head...I know you aren’t supposed to pop it, but please do.....yuck.

Men:                                            

1.  Back hair.......it has got to go...I don’t know how.....wax, pluck, weed wack.......whatever...just get rid of it.

2.  Uni-brows.......ditto........however.......don’t wax the arch of your brow unless you are gay......

3.  Toenails......please keep them short and if God forbid you have a toe nail fungus.....please do not wear flip flops or sandals (you shouldn’t be wearing sandals anyway, they are unflattering and weird)

4.  Keep your hands well groomed with short nails, and clean under them if you work in dirt......and for Heaven’s sake NEVER put a pinkie ring on.   Turnoff.

5.  Comb over’s not allowed......bald is hip and sexy.......

6.  Heavy beards..I won’t even talk about your meals that show up in it.....eeeww....mustaches....corny ....a little scruff from a day not shaving is sexy as hell.......

7.  Nose and ear hair.......I am not even going there.....

8.   Keep the body hair well groomed....no rat’s nests for you either!!

9.  Do not wear to much cologne...you will smell like a French Whore.

You all can never say I am not helpful with advice......I do take my own advice by the way......case in point........

My husband, kids, close friends all know.......if God forbid I am ever in a coma state like that poor Terry Schiavo (remember that young lady on the feeding tube and the controversy with her parents and husband)....remember how they were plastering her pix all over the TV with her mouth hanging open....

Well.....they know to make sure I am waxed, plucked, shaved, made up, roots dyed, coifed, teeth brushed, lipsticked, manicured and pedicured......and always make sure I have a pretty, stylish nightgown on......

All three of my kids can recite the above with total accuracy, they have strict instructions.

I know I am nuts..........

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:  Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.........Sophia Loren

Lisa xo

 Girls if you think my posts are funny...go to my real blog...it is funnier because I have graphics to go with the stories...I can’t figure out how to put them on here!!
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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 21, 2008
    • Re #1: “Gigi” has a great creme hair remover gentle enough for facial hair. Usually found at Sally’s or Aerial. Creme on, wipe off. Be sure to leave it on NO longer than 5 minutes & DO use the balm that comes with it afterward.
      Just a tip! :)
      Works GREAT! And no “wax rip!”



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