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I have several single friends of both genders, and between their dates they keep me entertained and horrified at the same time. I think if I had the time I would have enough material to write a whole book on the subject.

At my recent get together with my group of married girlfriends who all happen to be women over 40 the subject of dating in the 21 century came up for discussion.

They have been married for so long that memories of being stood up, cheated on, boring blind dates, and abusive boyfriends were buried so deep in their past that the only thing they could remember about their dating experience was how they were courted and showered with flowers.  

While sharing stories with them about my single friends, they were shocked how dating has changed in the last two decades.

Welcome to grown up dating    

dating

We live in a fast paced world, it's all about how much you can achieve in the shortest period of time, and why should dating be any different?

You reach a certain age and you are no longer willing to waste an entire evening on a boring guy who's got nothing interesting to say.

Who's got the time to go on fifty dates to find your Mr. Right?  

Most of us have careers, children, and a very slow metabolism, not to mention a short fuse. Finally, we know what we want and we don't need to spend an entire evening figuring out if the guy sitting across the table who needs a major make over is "the one".

We no longer wonder what kind of a man we need; we just need an assortment of them to pick the right one out.

So where do you find those men?  

datingMany are opting to date on line, some are continuing to rely on their friends to set them up, and of course there are still aunts, god bless them, such as aunt Betsy who can still set you up on a date that you will have nightmares about for the next twenty years and will be reminded of at every family gathering.

Whether you opt to date on line or off line, or ask aunt Betsy to come to your rescue, remind yourself that you are all grown up. You don't need to compete with 30 something's, you don’t need to have a relationship on a text message. Refuse to date their way, date like a grown up, after all you are in a league of your own. Instead of looking on dating sites look within your social networks, look among your colleagues, and don't over look long distance relationships.

Believe it or not, there are people that reconnect on Facebook, date on Skype, and end up getting married living happily ever after.

Just do yourself a favor, refuse to date anyone who is not grown up. Be quick enough to hit the delete button and move to your next target.

p.s. Don't miss this week newsletter, know the facts 



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Member Comments



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • My theory on the subject?  Dating SUCKS..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Wolf wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I’m so happy to be married to the same wonderful man for almost 25 years now.  I can’t even imagine the dating scene again!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I think dating sucks at all ages, unless you are extremely lucky and you find that special guy right away. I think it is always important to date on your own terms and not to fall into the trap of doing what everyone else does, such as dating over a text message 



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I agree Yana. The funny thing is, I thought it would be easier..better..as I got older!  It’s actually worse!  People our age..and I have to say people, as it isn’t gender specific..play games!  It’s amazing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Jan 23, 2009
    • Yipes.. Im afraid to even try to date.. Ive been dragging my feet.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 23, 2009
    • im not sure i want to even date! lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 23, 2009
    • I’ve been dating someone for almost 7 months and he is one of the first men in my age group who has even bothered to ask me out..(that’s a whole new subject there).  He is so much like the rest of the men over 40 that I have met, he is commmitment shy and wants to “leave his options open“!! These guys are like kids in a candy store, they can’t commit to even just dating one women, let alone be in a serious relationship! I don’t get men these days, they want all of the benefits of a relationship, but none of the responsibilities.  I am not into open relationships for sure..oh, wait..can’t use the word relationship....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 23, 2009
    • I think if I was single right now I would be afraid to date. I watch too many crime shows! I think I would be like a little hermit. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with the dating stuff.

      By the way, great photo, Jeanne. Really pretty!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 24, 2009
    • Minnow68:  I like your attitude! That’s what dating is supposed to be, fun!  I try to let go of any expectations, but sometimes..you can’t help it!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Djd258 wrote Jan 26, 2009
    • I have never gone so long without dating. I got divorced in 94, 4 months later started dating a man off and on for 3 1/2 years. He and I had a good connection but he was very selfish. Since then I have dated maybe 6-7 times. I have not been on a "DATE" in six years.
      As with a lot of you, I don't like the games and have not put myself out there to find anyone. I have been on my own sooo long that I'm not sure I could stand to have someone in my way. But then again, I don't want to be old and alone.
      I’m scared of the dating scene, and I too watched too many police stories.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 26, 2009
    • After reading everyone’s responses, it makes me sad.  Sad to realize that something that should be so fun, isn’t! (for a lot of us at least!).  I just wonder what we can do to make dating more fun!  Unfortunately, these days it’s too common to be back out there in the singles scene at 40+.  What is it about our society that makes it ok for people to totally disregard others feelings and play with their emotions?  

      Me?  I’m working on changing my attitude, since like attracts like...if I am negative, I will attract negative men..if I feel I don’t deserve love...I won’t get it!  Going forward, I am going to project a confident, happy and positive attitude and see where it goes.

      easier said than done, but I’m determined!



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