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I was just about to make my mammo appointment.... and this popped in my email in box... I think I’ll wait a bit to make that appointment...



Guilty with an Explanation  

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation".  The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story.

"Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept.  I was met with "Hi! I'm Belinda!"  This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist and slip on this gown.  Everything clear?"  I'm thinking 'Belinda try decaf.  This ain't rocket science'  

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.  With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left side and said, "Hmmm, Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean a tad so we can get everything?" "Fine", I answered.  I was freezing, bruised and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard , then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! "Oh, maintenance is working.  Bet they hit a snag" Belinda said, and headed out the door!  "Excuse me!  You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh you fussy puppy... the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights.  I'll be right back..." before I could shout 'NOOOOO!' she disappeared.  And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men Extraordinaire, found me... Half naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite "Hi, how's it going" type of greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. "Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks." "You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I was standing in line at the grocery store.  

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.  Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh, I am sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"  

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.."  The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said, "Case Dismissed!"

I love to cook and blog and have a Cooking blog... please take a peek at my blog.. I hope you like it! Great Cooking Tips and Recipes at:   [Link Removed]

Linda08, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

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