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I can’t believe I’m struggling with this, but apparently I am. I have a new boss coming in at the end of the week. He’s coming into a position that I had applied for. I was told that I was one of the top 3 candidates. Found out that the other 2 candidates bailed for various reasons. Also learned through the grapevine that even though my vice president recommended me for the job, the president said no. So now here comes this guy. I read his resume & it was heart wrenching to realize that I was indeed more qualified than he was. I don’t know what I did to piss the president off but that’s neither here nor there. The current situation is that I have a new boss coming in & I thought I had my emotions in check. But I just saw his name posted on the doorway to his new office. I felt like a knife had just stabbed me in the gut. For all I know this poor sap could be the best boss I’ve ever had in my career. However I feel so betrayed by this whole thing I don’t know how I’m going to act when I meet him. I don’t want to appear to aloof.  But I don’t want to appear to happy/sappy either. I don’t know how I’m going to handle this.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • This is how I would handle myself if I was in your situation.

      I would introduce myself to my new boss and ask if we could have a few minutes to talk. I would then proceed to tell him how disappointed I was that I didn’t get the job but congrats to you for getting it. I would also ask if he knew what skills I needed to work on in preparation for future possible promotions. I would make him/her my partner and do my best to make him/her look good.
      I would also go to the VP and Prez and ask what skills you need to acquire to be ready to promote.
      If all else fails I would look for another job.

      Good Luck and show them you are the bigger (better) person and don’t be cool or aloof. Keep saying to yourself I will kill him with kindness....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • I forgot to mention... your new boss probably knows you were up for the job. I’m sure there was talk about you to him. So he is probably preparing to deal with a worst case scenerio..... surprise him! Give him the best case scenerio.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • still sipping my morning coffee and starting to wake up... anyhow, I totally understand your frustration, the feeling of being betrayed, anger and jealous, and much more.  I personally will try to weight it out.  Don’t shot the messenger.  He can be a blessing for your next promotion or a great boss to you.  Yes, it is hard to pretend but in Corporate world, you got to play some politics and hide some emotions.  Be back to write more when the coffee kicks in more.  Take care.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • Bluerose, As a boss myself, I can tell you there are tons of reasons someone internally is passed up for a position and someone externally is pulled into a position, one main thing is gossip.  The things you say your hearing from others and the things you may be saying to others could be exactly the reason the bosses picked someone from the outside that is not in the loop of the office chatter.  I know many times I will hire outside just because of that reason, because loose lips sink ships.  Now Im not saying this is the reason you were bypassed but Im just saying as a boss, its been a reason for me.  And in my business I have to have employees that can keep things on the QT.  

      I have promoted from within and its worked and Ive promoted from within and its been a disaster, sometimes if you remove yourself from the realm of the office chatter and concentrate on work only and not who does what it could be a huge benefit for you above other employees.

      One of my best employees, was a russian girl named Natalia, she was great at her job and she would come in and ignore the office gossip and she never involved herself in it.  Many of the employees said they thought it was rude but in my opinion, as an employer... I wish I had one hundred Natalia’s as she was nice personable but did her job with out the drama.

      Its a relief.

      Youve gotten great advice, walk in and Man up.  Shake his hand and congratulate him for getting the job and ask if there is anything you can do to make him settle in and thank your bosses for thier consideration.  Shake thier hands and look them right in the eye and smile dont show one bit of weakness.  Seperate yourself from the underlings that gossip and youll see that the next promotion you will rise to the top.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • Teeky: thank you for saying what I want to say before the caffeine kicks in me. happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 14, 2009
    • Bobbi I love it....‘man up’ I use that all the time. Good advice



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bluerose wrote Jan 15, 2009
    • Thank you ladies. I took yesterday afternoon off from work. I needed the time away from the office folks to get my head straight. By the time I went to bed I was good. My VP is arriving this afternoon & I’m ready for him.  Ready for the new guy as well.  I told myself that I’m going to concentrate on my job.  (Previously I did my job as well as 75% of my boss’ job.) I’m going to make sure my staff is taken care of & do whatever I can to make sure the customer is happy.  I will help the new boss get adjusted, however I will not do his job for him again.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bluerose wrote Jan 15, 2009
    • That was suppose to read 75% of my boss’ job.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Jan 15, 2009
    • Thanks ladies.. I have to Man Up all the time and as women we do have to Man Up.. to be competitive.

      Bluerose, glad your head is on straight face them with a smile and dont let them see ONE BIT of a whimper... NOT ONE !!



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