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To be somebody you must last. ------Ruth Gordon

   We women who do too much know how to “hang in there“.  We stick with a situation that a sane person would have given up on years ago.  This persistence is, indeed, often a part of our insanity.  We get so fixated on hanging in that we lose perspective and fail to see that our very persistence may be exacerbating a sick situation.  If we withdraw from the situation, organizations in which we are involved might have the opportunity to test their reality, or they may even be allowed to “hit bottom: and come out the other side.

       We accept the virtue of perseverance but unfortunately our dedication to it has affected our judgment and our ability to discern what is really needed.  

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In some situations it is better to leave; in some it is important to persevere, in some we simply have to wait and see. The trick is to discern which is which.

(Taken from the book: Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much)
by Anne Wilson Schaef



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • Has anyone ever felt that they should just give up  (and should have) but stuck with it for sake of sticking with it?
      Or because you did give in...you felt like a failure or you felt others thought you were a failure?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • Yes, my marriage and didn’t want it to fail as I had I had invested so much in it - I felt a failure for sometime.

      Whereas in business I’m very good at with drawing and moving on - shame I can’t have a business head on when I work on personal relationships.
      I do know women stick with things longer due to the not being able to say NO factor



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • I love this! I am now at a stage in my life where I can understand this and really relate to it. I know the difference now.
      How different my life would have been if I had this clarity before.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • When taken to extremes, it can be called co-dependency.  I work constantly to fight the urge to make things “right” rather than letting go.  It can be connected to a need for control for me.  “Throwing in the towel” reminds me I am NOT in control, and I usually don’t want to hear that!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • It is interesting that I just spoke to a priest about that yesterday regarding my marriage.  He asked met to exercise virtues the first one I said was Perseverance.  He actually said that was 4th down the list.  So we discussed and he asked me to exercise: Faith, Hope and Charity, the perseverance.  

      We also discussed expectations which I have a lot to ponder.

      Thank you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamra wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • CD, interesting.  I would have thought perseverance would be at the top because of the commitment  needed to keep a marriage together in hard times.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • I’ve been known for stubbornly sticking with situations that are clearly no-win, simply because I’ve convinced myself that I can make a difference.

      It’s only been the last few years or so that I’ve come to understand that the difference I can make is in letting some situations resolve themselves.

      Thanks for this, Mary. Great thoughts for this morning.



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