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Ok gals

Ill get straight to the point.

How do you, IF you handle this, how would you handle harmless flirting on FB?
I find it really tacky, personally. Especially when it isnt coming MY way. We dont do anything on each other’s pages or advertise our personal biz.
I guess my take on that is, given what’s happened to me in the past, if one wants to LOOK single, then BE single.

I have discovered, my so called boyfriend has done this a few times.

Im not happy about it. At all.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • oh .......... so you have seen he has been flirting with some other “ladee” on FB ?
      I take it you have mentioned this ?
      If you have what was his response ?
      How are you feeling about this and what is the other person like?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • Grrrrrrrrrr.............



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • I could sleep right now...
      I dont even wantto deal with this nonsense.

      I have not mentioned this to him and when or if I do, havent decided yet if I will- On THAT note I dont know if I WILL even go back there.

      Im a bit turned off at the moment.

      If I mention this to him, it’ll of course be done ‘carefully’ and ‘wisely’ - you know us women cant just bust out with something. We have to have a ‘way‘- which is also getting old by the way. Wisdom wins most of the time, and thats the ONLY reason Im going to think about it before I say anything.

      It is  disrespectful. And it is tacky. However, if I SAY anything, aren't I going to be accused of jealousy? Trust me when i tell you, I have nothing to be jealous over. Thats not the angle Im even looking at this from. I didnt stay single for over 2 yrs to deal with THIS. I expected a little more class I guess. Silly me. Yes Im pissed off- a bit. Sorry.

      I do not expect perfection.  

      I AM in a long distance relationship which makes it even worse to see... nice of him to THINK ... ugh!

      Its friggin snowing out and I MAY even go for a walk to think anyway.

      Vicki to answer your questions,
      No, Ive not mentioned this.
      And, as for the other person, I kind of know her- she des the same thing all over the map. SHE however is not the one initiating. So my feelings- I have a few.
      1. Offended
      2. Feeling like sort of a fool at the moment.
      3. Hoping I made a big deal privately over nothing.
      4. Feeling like Im wishing on someone else’s star or something because these things never go right for me.

      I dont really know what else to say-

      He’s got something going on at home or work- text’d me and said he will call in a few hrs as he is super annoyed about something he doesnt want to discuss and wants to chill and try to relax. He says he knows how he is when annoyed and needs to have everyone let him be for a few hrs.  

      Great. {Annoyed over what?}  

      I really dont know what else to say. Im stressed over other things at the moment and need not add to it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • Also, keep in mind, some people have a different definition of flirting that others.  What one person might call “chatting” another person might call “flirting“.  He might think he was just “chatting” with this woman.  I’m not trying to defend him, just saying we all see things differently.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • Yes. It’s been made clear that we are exclusive.
      Evidently the girl in question has caused much drama for a friend of all of ours and friends have said she’s nothing.
      Dont get me wrong- im not flippin out over here. im just not in the mood to be made a fool of.
      Im really not impressed and class in behavior matters to me. Im really trying not to vent.
      There is no other super ‘safe’ place for me to discuss this other than here.

      hard to discuss anything when my phone isnt ringing. Maybe no ring or answer IS my answer.

      Again, I do hope Im overthinking or making a big deal privately out of nothing. Cant this crap happen to someone ELSE?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • Right, Tulip. One of the reasons Ive said nothing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Mar 23, 2011
    • Vent away.  We‘re here.  It’s very hard NOT to overthink these things.
      heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • frown



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • Jenz is it possible that she is flirting and he is just trying not to be rude?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • Jen our horoscope today:

      PISCES Hold your tongue a bit today — whatever you've got to say can wait until you find the most diplomatic way (and time) to say it. Someone close may take grave offense if you shoot off too soon. ohhhh

      If he is flirting, he is a fool!!!
      love ya girl. heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • I think on this occasion I wouldn’t jump the gun I would wait as he might raise it first ..........
      But don’t over analysis and your worth more than a flirt if he is and he is a fool heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • Oh gawd, Jenz... this has got me wondering if I really need a boyfriend? Got to list all the good reasons to remind myself! LOL  

      What is that frowny face about?  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • Hi.

      Vikki, yes. Totally. I thought more of this too- if we were out together, he’d be the type that would say something like that being funny with me right there and would likely be horrified by the idea of being a true jerk.

      He’s pretttty annoyed with me at the moment, {Im annoyed I even felyt any other way other than to laugh it off. Its just that in the past when Ive seen these things, the man reaaly WAS a true jerk... }even though some of THAT is a lil confusing because I never said more than one word to all of it. My one word being, “Wow”  Nothing more.

      We havent had a convo about this yet. Only short text as we are both working and will talk later.  

      Tracy- THANKS! happy I will follow our horoscope. :D Its never wrong.

      Vicki~ Right! Agreed! Guess we’ll see what he’s made of. This is a challenge... the long dist part is what makes it so. Is he mad b/c I didnt automatically “LOL” about it and just trust?  

      ugh this is a hassle. lol We shall see what happens and I will keep ya posted. I get that he’s irritated... and I do not like how Ive fet over the past 24 hrs at ALL nor do I enjoy either of us being upset with each other.

      Maybe Im just bad at this..

      Rusty?

      something..

      Class DOES matter to me. Not monetarily. CLASS in one’s behavior. I think I expected a little more. I dont mean to sound like a smartass in saying that- Im quite serious. I HAVE a sense of humor too and laugh at many things every day. Maybe I missed the part where the flirting and hiding it was funny. H.A.H.A. I’m so NOT interested in this becoming a serious problem- OR questioning things. Yuck!
      Oh well- like I said, we’ll see what happens later I guess.  

      SIGH



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sweetings1970 wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • I am sorry you have to deal with this.  This actually gives you a view of how your boyfriend REALLY is.  You are worthy of respect.  You are valuable.  I don’t tell people either way about their relationships.  I do tell people that they are irreplaceable and valuable and they should be with people who can do that for them.  No one deserves to be a doormat.  I could have it all wrong, and if I do, I apologize.  I just know that each person is invaluable and should be treated as such or left alone.  

      I agree with you about “harmless” flirting on fb.  I don’t feel there is ever a such thing as “harmless“.  Someone always gets hurt, or disappointed.  I have had people flirt with me, but I do let them know that I am married.  Anything outside those bounds won’t exist with me.  So flirting outside any relationship other than its intended purpose is unsuitable.  Maybe if you explain it to your boyfriend in a way he can understand (say, put it in terms of you doing it and ask him how he would feel), then maybe he would get the picture.  

      I hope it works out for you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Mar 24, 2011
    • Jen,
      Does it clearly state on his FB page that he is in a relationship? Has he posted cute pictures of the two of you together for all the world to see?  I’d be somewhat heartened if the answer to both of those questions is yes.

      Conversely, are the flirtatious comments at all sexual in nature?  Are they all on her part or does he also initiate?  Is he insecure and needs constant “stroking“?  These would be red flags for me!

      You‘re so beautiful, smart, and talented he should be thrilled to have you for a girlfriend!  

      I hope you find the right guy (not saying he is or isn’t) and have a happy, less stressful life!

      heartAnne



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