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Ladies, I really need some good advice to pass along to my cousin. Here is the situation: My cousin and her boyfriend broke up about 2 years ago. They had been togehter for 7 years. She tried to move on and he did move on. The ex-boyfriend got married last September. She started seeing him again in October.This guy really broke her heart and took her through hell when they were together. She said that he has made promises to her that they will be together. She has been talking to me everyday about this since she started back with him. And of course, I have told her that she should NOT be seeing a married man. The situatuion gets worst, his wife just had a baby on April 3. Now when my cousin found out that his wife was pregnant, she went to his job and keyed his car. She also sent all of the text messages that she received from him to his wife. And I am constantly telling her to leave him alone. I talk to her everyday but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good. She believes everything that this guy tells her. Of course, we all know that he is not gioing to leave his wife for her(why would he)she’s making it easy for him to have both. She’s a very intelligent young lady, so why can’t she see that what she’s doing is wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! This was her very first boyfriend and she really loved him. I love my cousin and I don’t want to see her hurt again. I have tried talking to her, it doesn’t work. My husband and I are to the point now where, we are trying to fix her up with other guys. What else can I do to get her to see that she needs to stay out of this guy’s life? Any suggestions and advice would be greatly appreciated.


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carolnphil wrote Apr 10, 2009
    • Why would the ex have contacted her only a month after he married someone else?  Obviously he wasn’t in love with his bride.

      I’d warn her that she’s going to get arrested for stalking and harrassment.  

      This is a very sad situation for everyone involved especially the baby.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Apr 10, 2009
    • That is such a twisted situation! Unfortunately, you may not be able to help her see the light. Carol is right, though, point out the harassment/stalking issue.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kelly Robertson wrote Apr 11, 2009
    • If your cousin respects you, she will listen.  If your cousin is open to your advice, she will listen.  If not, then she’ll just hear you and all you can do is keep trying and pray for her.

      Try this: Ask her how she’d feel if SHE was the wife being cheated on. Tell her the truth: That a leopard rarely changes their spots and if things ever did work out between them, all he’d do is that same thing he’s doing to his spouse now: Cheat on her. A cheater is a cheater just like a beater is a beater.  These men learn this behavior much of the time from their upbringing and we women want love so bad, we make mistakes and wind up with married men.. men that we really can never have.  Tell your cousin that she’s beautiful and DESERVES to have the perfect man... a man who is good and loyal, a man who will cherish her always.  Not this man who’s cheating on his preganant wife.  

      Does your cousin have children?  If so, remind her that she has a responsibility to those kids. Sometimes these situations become very dangerous with jealous rages and even result in violence. She also sets the example! Is this the kind of behavior she wants to see her girls in?  

      Ask her to love herself so much, that she knows she must get out and get out now. Yes it will hurt, but it’s the right thing to do and she deserves better.

      love, kelly

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