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im not even sure where to start! i am so mad i could spit nails! i have an x husband who is an a**, and id be better off if he went bye bye permanently! i know, i know, thats not nice but its TRUE!

Ok, i left him in 1998, and was divorced in 1999.. he didn’t pay one cent in child support which i told them at friend of the court he wouldn’t..  

in 2000, he went to prison for 5-20 years. it was that 3 strikes you‘re out thing.. so it tells me, that it involved violence and drinking.. he had 1 count of felonious assult, and 1 count of ” intent to do great bodily harm less than murder ” against me, so thats where the 3 strikes came in..

anyway, 3 years ago, i asked him if he would write a letter stating that i could move out state with the children, and if he did, i would drop the back child support..  

well, the dink that he is, he didn’t write it! and im here to tell you that i am TIRED iof that man running my life! so almost 2 1/2 years ago, i moved my children and i to Pennsylvania from Michigan...

and NO, i didn’t notify ANYONE in the courts that i was moving! Well, i got out of work today, and there is a call on my cell phone from the Hillsdale County Friend of the court, and they said i needed to call them..

OMGOSH! no i did not want to call them! id have to lie if i did, and im not into lieing... i called my momita, and she said ” honey, just call them ” so i did...

So, i called, and Karri ( my worker at FOC ) and she asked me if i had moved out of state.. and my reply was ” YES i have ” OMGOSH! lol it was like a big relief, however, my anger at this a** just started brewing all over again!

So i started crying on the phone and told Karri that i couldn’t leave PA because i have a great job, and the children are doing well in school. i will not move, i just won’t do that to my children..

they want NOTHING to do with thier dad.. not by anything i have said, OR done, but of thier own free will. i told Karrie they are better off without him! he wont change, and i am so tired of him STILL trying to run my life!

i don’t wanna drop the child support. my children deserve it! however, they will never see a dime of it.. my momita suggested that i could drop the child support from today on, and he would have to pay the arrages.. OVER 20thousand dollars! that will never happen either, but if i do that, at least i could get that dang letter!

wow! sorry for all the anger, and thank you for reading! please keep me in prayer..

im going to give this to God, and let Him handle it!
Blessings to you all..
Linni



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Linni,

      My heart goes out to you...  I hope it all works out for you...  I’m glad you were honest with the FOC...  and that they will find favor in your decision.  You are in my prayers...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Linni,

      I am so sorry. I think alot of us have had  a tough day today.

      The Lord will provide  for you with or without child support. Is it fair?  NO!!! I do not understand how father’s can do this to their children. They think they are getting back at you and they can’t see past their anger that they are hurting the children.

      I made it without child support and it was my choice. I wanted nothing from him. My story was a nightmare. God finally intervened when and I mean when I gave it over to Him. IT was a long battle.

      Girl, you are in my prayers tonight.

      Let go and Let God!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • thank you amk. i just get so tired of things ALWAYS going his way! he is MORE comfy in prison with a roof over his head, 3 meals a day, has it better in there than his children do out here!

      hugs to you



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • You are justified in your anger. He is what he is and more than likely will not change but what is it about these ridiculous laws that allow a convicted felon to decide whether his legally divorced spouse should be allowed to leave the state or not! That legislation has got to change. We as women have come much further than that. What you are doing is for the welfare of your children and they are thriving in their environment. There has to be a justified fight here.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindy Stewart Penkoff wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Linni,

      Do whatever you have to for you and your children.  The truth is he has nothing better to do with his life than make yours a living he__ if possible.

      Breath deep and find a really good outlet.  Running, dancing, something that boost your positive hormones.  Get up in the morning and start your day just like you have since your move.

      You will be fine.  You‘re strong, your smart and you have right on your side.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Hi Linni, just take it one day at a time. I certainly can understand why you are so frustrated though. You made a wise decision to put yourself and your children in a peaceful enviroment. The children are thriving, so I would say that you made the right decision. In the end, no matter what happens, you did what you thought best for your children. Bless you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Linni,
      You did what you needed to do. I am proud that you stood up for yourself and stopped letting that MAN run your life. You are one strong woman and your children are fortunate to have a mom like you. You have made a difference in their lives, imagine if you had stayed with him. There is no telling what kind of havoc he may have brought into their lives. Keep on doing what you are doing, good always triumphs over evil!
      Plus, don’t let your Fab40 sisters pay him a visit.....There’s nothing scarier then a bunch of angry women!
      Gosh, this is becoming a habit with me. I’m becoming violent! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Hi Darla.. yes, you are right! the Lord has provided thus far without child support, and i know He will continue to do so.. i am just sooooo angry! i know the Judge that granted our divorce DID NOT care much for my x husband at all, and stated that in court ( because he didn’t show up ). i honestly thought i have given it all to Him Darla.. looks as though i didn’t.. thank you for your encouragement!

      yes empower, it really weighed heavy on me, and im so glad its now out! lol one good thing is that the FOC WILL NOT give him my address! its confidential! :) hugs to you my friend!

      Cynthia, he won’t change.. same junk, different day with him.. yes, the laws stink.. i have FULL SOUL CUSTODY of my children, and have to get permission.. lol NOT! i know, i need to calm down.. but the nerve of him! lol believe me, i will fight! he ( the x ) messed with the WRONG Lithuanian!
      thank you for your words of encouragement, it is much appreciated!

      thank you jomi! i need all the prayers right now!  

      cindypenkoff you are right! lol and you know, he is off doing what ever, while i am burning mad... so who’s he effecting? not himself, but me! lol i GOTTA remember to breath! WOW! such great words! thank you so much! :)

      thank you lc. we have had our ups and downs, but they are good children, and are doing well! im not going to do anything to mess that up for them!

      Ladies, thank you so much! i appreciate all your words of encouragement!
      i love you all!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • ohhhhhh inakika! that was my thought too! LOL i don’t need the mafia when i have my fab40 sisters! LOL

      you know, i would probably be dead right now if i would have stayed... God opened the door for me to get out safely, and i went! NEVER to look back! thank you for words of encouragement, and support!
      Blessings to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • I dont know what I can add that the ladies above havent already said, but I do know the courts since Im a PI.  You are in violation of a court order.  The advantage you have is that your out of state and (is he still in jail ?), if so, I doubt he will be able to force you back for custody as he cant take custody from jail.  Finally, the court will consider your situation, if you had to move for a job, special needs, etc.  But they will not like that you failed to follow court orders.  

      Im betting youll get a slap on the wrist... do not give up your child support, the courts wont allow it I dont think anyway, child support is not a barganing chip as its for the childrens well being.  And dont let him off that easily.

      Im not an attorney, but I think the fact your forthcomming the court will take that into consideration.  

      Id check jurisdiction as there may not be a jurisdiction from one state to the next.  Get an attorney to help you, I know it costs but may save in the end.

      I do know it will work out but Id be proactive.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Sharpton wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • You ex will look back on this moment with regret one day.  The big question will be can your children ever forgive him.  My father hit rock bottom in the 90's and looked to his children to bail him out.  We were so angry with him for the way he treated our Mom but deal with it because of our Christian beliefs. Every day we struggle with the anger and my Dad acts like its his right to demand we care for him in his old age even though he did nothing to help my Mom when we needed him most.  He was diagnosed with Cancer last summer and my sisters and I decided that the past was not important.  We forgave him and the family banded together to take care of him.  I still love him but I give him a piece of my mind when he gets too big for his britches.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • That’s right, girl. We’ll make that sucker an offer he can’t refuse. Don’t mess with our Linni!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sandy Ochoa-West wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Oh Linni, my heart goes out to you! And you and your kids are in my prayers.
      Your husband took the easy way out: three hots and a cot (jail)and you feel like you got the short end of the stick but my friend, you have your children and they love you.YOu have made it this far without his money and you can continue to. How would he pay you from jail anyway,(that I don’t understand)Anyway you have your kids and your freedom and he’s alone. To me it looks like you got a lot



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • greeneyedlady, i knew if he didn’t write a letter that i was going against the court by moving.. there are really no jobs in Michigan. because they have my address now ( i faxed it to them ) Judge Smith will just look at the situation, and look at our case, and there may be no reprocussions.. Judge Smith is a good man, and he KNOWS his cases.. we aren’t just a file on his shelf... i know i am making no sence.. i apologize..
      Thank you greeneyedlady for your advice! i truly appreciate it, and you! hugs to you my friend!

      warriorprincess.. i am teaching my children that the need to forgive thier dad. if they don’t they will only be miserable. they deserve better, and to have better, they need to forgive.. its not easy for me, because id rather see the man dead ( please forgive me.. its how i feel) , so i really need to pray when i talk to them about him.. hugs to you Cheryl!

      inakika thanks for having my back! im here if you ever need me! Blessings and hugs to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Not much to add here.  

      All i can say is that my thoughts and prayers are with you!! huggzzz



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • thank you mztracy! i appreciate it!
      hugs to you my friend!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • AMEN SASSY!
      i didn’t see your post earlier.. i am sorry! you are right! i have it all, because i have my children! what kills me about the State of Michigan, is that they will just keep putting him in jail.. HELLO! how can he pay support from there? LOL
      hugs to you my friend!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Hugs and Prayers! These ladies just about said it all! if you need to talk i am here!
      Friends,
      Ree



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • Linni, I am sorry. I feel your worries.  I feel helpless other than sending you powerful prayers - may you sleep well tonight as well as many blessings to you and your family.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Nov 13, 2008
    • At least with him in jail you are safe. What good with the money do you if he were hounding you, or being violent?
      I am sorry you are having to go through this. Use it to teach your children to be stronger and more compassionate. Don’t let anger turn to bitterness. Righteous anger is not condemned by God, but bitterness is. Like Darla said, let go and let God.... Bitterness just destroys you. He could care less, in fact it probably makes him happy to know he is making you miserable. Don’t let him gloat in that! Heap coals of kindness! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 14, 2008
    • thank you ree! i appreciate that!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 14, 2008
    • chinadoll, you know i went to bed last night before i seen your post, and i got up this morning and i felt like i slept well! THANK YOU for your prayers my friend!
      love to you!

      DeeDee, you are so right! you know, sometimes i get so caught up in the mess, that i forget to see the lesson i need to show my children! i have always taught my children that anger is a choice, and the thing or person who has them angry is INCONTROL! thank you for reminding me!
      hugs to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 14, 2008
    • thank you so much mslorid! i appreciate all your suggestions, and will look into each one!

      God Bless you!
      Linni



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • Linni, since I work with a lot with single moms, I often encounter their frustrations with the laws regarding the fathers of the children. It’s very disheartening at times, as there isn’t much I can do to help them except to encourage them. I feel the same way here. So much of life is not fair. But, I see according to your responses here that you know Who really is in control and that He will make sure your needs are met. And we, your Fab40 sisters, will have your back as much as possible!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • Linni,

      My heart truly does go out to you. And I have been there!

      What I have found in my life, from past situations is NOT to worry until I have all the facts pertaining to a situation.  

      Talk to an attorney in both states and get their “take” on this.  Don’t fret yet okay?  Also, depending on the county you were from,they may have an attorney (Prosecutor for___
      county)who may be able to help you over the phone for free, and give you sound advice for your situation. Not all counties have this, but is certainly worth checking out before you pay for advice.

      We are here for ya girl~!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Nov 15, 2008
    • I'm with Inakika, my first thought was that we could flatten all of his tires, but under the circumstances it don't look like that would be an option. What?? I'm not mean, I'm just famous for *(trying)* to put air in a tire, but I end up letting all the air out of a tire! Hmmmmmm...since he is kind of untouchable right now, we will all just have to pray for him. That he will do the right thing and let you and your children continue to start over and rebuild your lives.
      Hmmm.. let me see.....We could send him some t-shirts and underwear soaked in itching powder! I'd surely like to be a fly on the wall and watch his butt try to scratch that itch.
      Good luck Linny, I would hope that any judge would look at the whole picture and make the best decision for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
      Lisa



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 18, 2008
    • thank you ladies for all your advice, your love, and support! i really do appreciate it!

      well, i have found out he is out of jail, and you know, i am not worried of him finding me, and even if he does, im not afraid! God will take care of my children and i, and i know this...

      God Bless you all!
      Linni



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 17, 2010
    • Hi Linni,  

      I’m like a day late and a dollar short in reading this, but I want to tell you that I admire the hell outta you! You‘re an amazing woman!  

      Hugs,

      Cathie



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