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From the day my husband and I met, he has always treated me like royalty. I never complained, I embraced the Love & Attention, and I am proud to say that up to today it is still going strong, with every intention of growing stronger.

From the onset of our relationship I knew it was special, becaue we started talking through his mother bringing me messages from him. (she and I worked at the same resort & casino)

Throughout our courtship and marriage outsiders were of the view that I ran the relationsip, or wore the pants in the relationship, I guess because they saw me as  avery vocal, and opinioated person.  But I never ever second guessed him, his decisions or opinions in the presence of others (for the same reason)

His male counterparts never understoond, and still don’t understand why, everywhere he goes, I am the second fiddler.(it is always at his invitation)  I remember on evening he came home from work, andsaid he will begoing to watch a basketball game with te boys.  I said kewl, and went next door to visit my friend.  This ws like 9 years into our marriage.  Around 10 that night he came home (to my surprise).  So I asked him how te game was, he said, he left before the game was over,b/c it wasn’t the same without me there.  I was touched, but more so when he told me, he will never do that again, because I am his spa.

My girlfriends (the few that I have), consider me spoiled, b/c my husband (who was brought up by a woman who taught them how to do everything) cooks most days, does the laundry all the time, most of the household chores he do whether I volunteer or not, he insists.  (I do help out regardless of his opposing) He prefers for me to be rested, and relaxed b/c he wants me to give our son my undivided attention, especially because he is working most evenings.  

Not only is my husband a good husband, hes a remarkable father to our son.  He took 10 weeks paternity leave and vacation time when our son was born, so that he could help me out, and I would not be burnt out.  He did bottles, changed diapers, fed him, bathed him, got up through the night like clock work, he bonded with our son from the day he was born.

He’s not able to shower me financially with all the finer things in life, but the things he do shower me with, are priceless, serenity, peace of mind, stress free home life, comfort, quality time, love, affection, attention etc.

He don’t make a fuss about anything, and I don’t complain about anything.

From the guys point of view, he's whopped , they say I am the man of the house, and to the gals, "I am spoiled", to me, "I am loved", and a woman who is loved, in many different ways, and this is the way my husband choose to love me.

I am sure there are men like him out there, maybe even better.

But I Love the way my husband loves me, wether others think I am spoiled, or not.  Wether his male friends thinks he’s whopped or not....*It works perfectly for us.*    

'Cause this sister handles her business, in and out of the bedroom' and she does it well....  

Is your husband whopped, by his friends standards?....Are you spoiled, based on your girfriends definition?


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • You just bask in the glow of your wonderful marriage and that adorable 3 year old of yours! Whatever anyone says your and your husband know the true beauty of what you have together


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • Shereen, our husbands (and our marriages) are so similar I have to wonder if they are spiritual twins!  

      This is the second marriage for both of us, and we do not our own children.

      My husband does most of our cooking and laundry, too. Although I’m not raising children, I am doing, as he refers to it, the “heavy thinking” in the relationship. We work together, but I am 90% of the administrative task; I am also actively pursuing a career in writing, and am coming at it from several different directions. So, he would rather I not be bothered with the dishes in the sink or the clothes in the dryer. And, let me tell you, I couldn’t agree more.

      Several years back we lived in the Virgin Islands as a result of a sweet promotion I got on my job. Because it was an all-expenses paid job, and for tax reasons, he did not work while we were there. He did make reference at one time as being a fun-loving ‘man-whore‘, but many of his friends took a great deal of offense at this statement. They said they were angry on his behalf, but I never quite understood their statements. Ultimately, I gave up trying to figure out what they meant, as it didn’t matter a whit to me.

      Today we share our load evenly, although to the casual outsider it might appear I’m spoiled, too. But I know, and most importantly my husband knows, that I am working damn hard toward our mutual goals. And, I recognize the partner I have, and wouldn’t change it for the world.

      Thanks for sharing your marriage with us here! It’s so nice to know that there are others living AND thinking outside of the box!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • I agree with chocolatier..enjoy it...

      I consider myself extremely blessed to have the husband I have this time around..(and to think when I was younger I said I would never marry an American man, I was always told like minded (West Indians) was the way to go.) But this man is the best God sent person I have ever known. Like your husband, mine is not able to give me the finer things in life, financially, but he makes up for it with his treatment of me and my girls.  

      Never does he complain if he comes home and dinner’s not cooked, he comes in, changes clothes and heads to the kitchen. He always complains because I will not allow him to help me with our huge laundry task...even if I’m sick..

      He feels bad that now we can’t afford to have our Friday night date night because I am in the house all the time with the children, as long as I am appreciated, I’m fine with how things are..

      Yes I think my husband spoils me, but it is always reciprocated...

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • Shereen:  

      There are so many HATER’s out there and when you have a relationship with  your spouse as you do with your husband, you will find that the HATERS are those closest to the both of you.

      Continue to take care of your family as you see fit and you will be blessed.


      Never say “Never“...haha.  I too married an American, 20 years together, 18 of those married.  Like minded, West Indians, what a joke.  Never married one, but had my fill...nuff said.

      In time, it will all fall into place and you and your husband would once again, be able to enjoy all the finer things in life, but as long as you both have each other and your kids...all’s good!!  We don’t go out often to eat, guess that’s my bajan upbringing, I enjoy my food more, and so does he.

      My husband, worships the ground I walk on, he is not whooped, as some might think, he just makes sure, I have what I need and I usually don’t need much.  He helps around the house, but one thing I would not have him do is cook, that is, if I want to eat.  Boiling water is the extend of his cooking for me and even that I have to oversee..

      Yes, many say that I am spoiled, but they say that even with the relationship I have with my mom and sisters.  I find it quite ironic that people would think my husband spoils me, when we share the work equally, ok, 70/30, the new 50/50...haha

      I cook, wash, clean, food/house shop and my husband takes care of the outside duties, mowing, garbage, cars, etc.  We share the bills.  

      We are also those two opposites.  He loves going out, and I am a homebody.  I think the only thing we have in common is our son...haha

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • jacquie..I was married to a Jamaican for 10 years but was with him for 13..and yes..what a joke..our girls are what kept us together and our girls are what made me leave...I like going out to eat, although I agree I like my food better, but sometimes it’s good to have someone else do the cooking and cleaning up

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • Ladies....*we are blessed, loved and well kept* , thanks very much for helping to validate what I knew too be a blessing.  I always say to people, if its not broke don’t fix it.

      I Honor, Love & Respet my Husband fully, and I am much appreciative of everything he does for me, and the love he shares with me.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • My hubby and I eat in most times.  But I do surprise him with special dinners... I have a cousin who is a chef, so spontaneously I will call him up and let him whip up a nice meal, and we have a nice romantic dinner, the ambiance, and the delicasy, is always second to none, and only seconds away from our favorite place to play.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tamb wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • My friends always say that they want what I have (meaning a good relationship).  My husband and I have been together for 17 years which is an amazing feat for me.  My longest relationship was 1 1/2 years off and on.  He’s 4 years younger than I am and he is my BFF (LOL).  He is so affectionate and loving.  He doesn’t have the means to spoil me financially either but he makes up for it in so many other ways.  He is a great father and he washes clothes.  But, like Soulful, I’d prefer it if he stayed out of the kitchen.  He can fry fish and boil hot dogs but that’s about it.
      I have Rhematoid Arthritis and sometimes when I come home from work, I’m in pain. Since he knows that hot baths really help my symptoms, as soon as I walk through the door, my bath water is being drawn. I love being his Queen.
      It’s so nice to hear about great relationships.  Usually, you just hear about negative stories which make people leary of trusting someone else with their hearts.  No one wants to be apart of the divorce statistics.  Thanks for the positive posts and keep lovin’ your man.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 10, 2008
    • Tamb, girlfriend, we both have RA.  I knew my husband must really have loved me to ask me to marry him, b/c during our courtship, I suffered many long hours in pain, almost every night, and he would rub me down, until I fell asleep.  I always say, it was pure, unconditional love.  From a "MAN"   not a Male,* "A MAN".*   I Thank GOD for him daily.

      Thank you, and I am encouraged to continue LOVING MY MAN

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