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The holidays are coming and with it, I get the blues.  When I was growing up, it was always just me, my mom, and my two brothers.  My parents had divorced when I was 2.  We had no extended family nearby and I longed to have grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and/or family friends join us.

As the years went by, my brothers and I got married, we had kids and our small family got bigger and holiday gatherings were more fun.  There were even several holidays where my dad would join us for Christmas.

My dad died in 2001 but things started to change when my mom died in 2007.  Then my oldest brother separated and divorced his wife of almost 24 years.  My family and I moved further out in Virginia in 2008.

I have invited my brothers and their families for holidays, birthdays, etc. and they have only come out once in the past two years that we have lived here.  We live about an hour and a half from each other.  They haven’t invited us over for any holidays or anything since 2007.  I miss spending the holidays with them but it doesn’t really seem to bother them much at all.  Granted, I know my brother who just got divorced is battling severe depression.

On my in-laws side, I have to say I’m tired of spending the holidays with them all the time.  Plus my mother in law and I don’t have the greatest relationship right now.  She lives 20 minutes away and never comes over even for her grandkid’s birthday parties.  I have invited her over for holidays but she won’t come.

I do have a wonderful husband and 2 great boys and I’m grateful for them.  I know there are people out there who literally don’t have anyone to spend their holidays with, but I just wish I could share the holidays with my extended family for a change.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Nov 15, 2010
    • Diane, perhaps you could telephone them and suggest you all get together this holiday season and let them know that it’s been too long since you all have been together.  Wishing you a wonderful holiday season.heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Nov 15, 2010
    • Great suggestion from Angelcart! And if that doesn’t work you can change your tradition. Invite the neighbors for an open house or help out in a soup kitchen....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 15, 2010
    • Is it possible that you and your extended family can meet in a restaurant? Maybe it’s stressful on everyone trying to plan at someone’s house or having family driving long distances. Maybe somewhere in between? I’m sorry about your brother’s depression. I believe that people battling this have a hard time getting motivated. Perhaps the rest of the family can do something close to him so he has the love of family around him.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Diane17 wrote Nov 15, 2010
    • Thanks for your suggestions ladies.  We will be going to the in-laws for Thanksgiving (again).

      I am reluctant to invite my brothers over for the holidays again.  I know they will say no and I’m tired of being told no.  Last year, I wrote my oldest brother a long heartfelt letter about this very thing and he still said no.  And my other brother just had his first child and she is quite demanding so I know he’s not going to come out here.

      The restaurant idea sounds interesting.  Maybe they would go for that...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 20, 2010
    • heart I hope someday they agree to it, Diane



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 20, 2010
    • We basically plan on just us, but everyone knows they have an open invitation if they need. Family or friends.

      My closet family is 3 hours away and my in-laws a bit over an hour.

      I prefer just us sometimes as the stress is less!!

      Good luck and have a gr8 Holiday! heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Nov 21, 2010
    • I know how stressful all that stuff is. Hope your holidays this year as as good as they possibly can be. heart



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