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A helicopter parent is a term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at educational institutions.  

They rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them or letting them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children’s wishes. They are so named because, like a helicopter, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach whether their children need them or not.

Living in Boulder, where parents have more degrees than a hot day in Arizona, there are more helicopter parents than vegans.

As a therapist, I thought I'd heard it all when it comes to the well-meaning but ultimately damaging long term effects of helicopter parenting—the same parents who are scratching their heads wondering why their 20 something year old can't seem to grow up.

BUT, I hadn't heard it all until yesterday when my 23 year-old daughter called from Santa Barbara.  She's been dealing with an errant 20 year-old roommate who refused to pay his rent.  He was $1500 behind.  He went on a trip, so she changed the locks.

Upon his return, he was demanding entrance to the apartment where upon my daughter informed him she would gladly let him in once he paid up.

This was met with a twenty year-old temper tantrum, inclusive of stomping feet, red face and loud demands.

She held her ground and wisely ignored him.

She received harassing phone calls from his Helicopter Mom who couldn't understand the logic of NO PAY, NO STAY.

Yesterday, when my daughter thought she had heard it all, Hovering Harasser Mom called her again and made one final demand:

"GIVE MY SON HIS BONG BACK AND GIVE IT TO HIM NOOOOOOOOOOWWW!

For those of you parents who don't know what a BONG is, WAKE UP!

I'm pretty sure your kids do.

My daughter saved the message from this Desperate Doobie Dense Mother—it belongs in Ripley's Believe It or Not, and Mom belongs in Long Term Parental Rehab.

Mary



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Pharmagirl wrote Jul 23, 2008
    • My life (fortunately!) is too busy to  be a ‘helicopter mom’ but I do witness a lot of it around. These moms have absolutely no idea the disservice they are doing their children. Let them take responsibility for their actions.

      Sharmani
      [Link Removed] 


      Pharmagirl, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kendal wrote Jul 24, 2008
    • This is ridiculous! I am short tempered when it comes to these ‘helicopter moms‘. These women are either over protective and can not let go of their children, or have too much time on their hands. How is a child supposed to learn to behave and live when there is someone there constantly taking care of things for them. Your daughter did the right thing, switching the locks was smart but not over the top.  

      What makes me ponder this story even more, is how could a mother ask for your daughter to return her child’s drug paraphernalia, basically so that her child can continue to do drugs?   I have no doubt that if you were to tell her that her child does drugs she would be in complete denial and claim that the bong is her child’s friend’s, or it is a piece of “Art“.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote Jul 24, 2008
    • Hi Kendal,

      THanks for the comment and Sharmani too.

      Unfortunately, the sad fact of the matter is that this mother knew very well what her son was using the bong for.

      Which is what made the story that much more outrageous.

      Fortunately, the boy and the boy are now long gone from my daughter’s apartment, and for that I feel great relief!



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