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Well let me start by saying THANK YOU to you all for your words of comfort, your prayers, thoughts and good wishes for my sister.

My sister was on the ventilator for 10 days. She had 2 stents in. They do not know how long she was without oxygen or the long term effects either. She experienced major paranoia and forgetfulness. She tried to leave the hospital and just walk out even tho no one was there to get her. She told 2 of nieces and my sister that she hated them and would never forget that they were “doing” this to her.

After all this the Dr’s still cleared her to go home......

GREAT!!!! If only.....

The first thing she did was NOT to light up a cigerette and continue to chain smoke. To act like we were punishing her by not getting her a bottle of wine. To want to continue the lifestyle that landed her there.

What would be great is if I could bring myself to NOT care!!!!

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • And unfortunately I did not get to meet up with any of our FAB sisters!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chrissie67 wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • I don’t know how you do that.  I don’t know the whole story but I can tell you in my experience with a self destructive family member eventually I had to let him go.  It really came down to putting myself (and my family) first.  Once I was clear on that priority it was a little easier.  There is nothing we can do to help.  None of us have that much power.  I love from afar, periodically I will get updates but I am no longer involved.  I still care though.  That doesnt stop.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chrissie67 wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • one more thing...I really am sorry you are enduring this.  It hurts in so many ways.  Im glad you can come here to find some support.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • Thx Chrissie!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • Vikki, I knew your sister was more important and I didn’t press you about trying to meet up your trip coming here was for her and I understood but I’m sure there will other times to come. I will be praying for her she is in denial at this point and she is acting out like a child being rebellious, she is in pain mentally and physically I know its hard and it hurts to see your sister in this condition, but she needs each of you no matter how harsh she may lash out she is hurting and this is the only way she feels she can give herself relief by hurting those closest to her that she knows loves her dearly and of course she loves you all as well she’s just in a bad place right now but be there no matter what, my prayers to you all.heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • I wish I could tell you how Vikki, but I don’t know either.  Unfortunately you can’t help her if she doesn’t want to be helped.  It’s heartbreaking.  You do what you can I guess and pray a lot.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • Vicki not to be well nosy but does she fully understand what happened? the reason I ask is even thou cleared to leave her side effects of being without o2 can bring this anger on. Its not unheard of that the anger they feel is because they cant quite process the information of what really happened so they feel victiumized.
      Not that any of that is easier for you or your family.
      Im so sorry. I so will keep u and your entire family in my thoughts and extra for your sister



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Djo1 wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • It’s tuff to watch someone you love destroy themselves. Hopefull with time she will turn things around...we can keep praying!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • I wish I had some gr8 advice...

      Sending you hugggss! heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Jan 27, 2011
    • My thoughts and prayers are with you on this one.  I feel your pain and I will lift up you and your sister in prayer.  Sometimes we wonder why the love got to hurt so bad but hang in there.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hbrose wrote Jan 28, 2011
    • Well, I don’t think you can make yourself not care, you being the person that you are that will never happen. I don’t know your sister but hopefully somehow she’ll come to realize that she needs to straighten up to take care of herself and live a healthier life for herself as much as the ones who love her.  In the meantime, your continuing to love and care about her can only add to that hope of realization. happyheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jan 28, 2011
    • Vikki, I can’t make myself not care so I have no tips on how to do it. I can step back and out of the line of fire in self preservation while I hope and pray a loved one has a dawning of reality. That’s all I can do.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 30, 2011
    • Of course, you care..she is your blood and how can we turn our backs on those we love.  The whole situation is very difficult for everyone.  I have a friend, or rather had a friend who was very ill last year and almost died...I was there for her in every way...recently she has turned her back on me and wants nothing to do with me at all...maybe, because she meant so  much to me and I had to be honest and tell her the smoking is killing her..she also has Lupus.  Be there for your sister in prayer, deed and love and you might be surprised how her eyes can open to how she treats her health...many hugs to you!!heartheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jan 30, 2011
    • Oh honey I’m so sorry your having this - it seems she is in denial and also maybe scared because actually she knows she was very close to not coming back and is just adjusting.

      I think she has to see the light ....... heartheartheartheart



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