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Money is not really the root of all evil. How it's worshiped, mismanaged, and esteemed can be evil. So in marriage when you bring two different people from two different belief systems, upbringings, and environments together, you are surely asking for trouble. Especially when the topic is money! Then throw in a recession, depression or whatever you want to call it, and you really will see some problems arise. The truth, every couple has money struggles at some point in their relationship. Money struggles may include overspending, unemployment, the breadwinner, or not enough money coming in each month. Yes, all couples at some point struggle with money, but it's about overcoming the struggle. So how are you overcoming money issues in your relationship?  

Do you ignore financial problems?
Do you pretend that everything is blissful and wonderful in your marriage to keep the peace, but inside you are screaming? The silence is tearing you and your relationship apart. Ignoring and pretending you do not have a problem will not fix it. One way to get on track is to confront your fears, be transparent, and talk about your money worries and future financial goals with your spouse.

Having breadwinner problems?
Who cares which spouse makes the most money! It should all be going into the same pot or at least towards the same goals anyway. What if one of you is unemployed and the other is still working? Thank God that someone is bringing income in!  All the money coming in should go towards sustaining the household, no matter who brings it in. Whether you are having good or bad times, the common goal in marriage should be how to sustain the relationship and family. So who cares if it's a man or woman that makes the most. And please don’t let envy or feelings of superiority get in the way of your relationship. Those feelings can lead to financial hardships that can be hard to overcome. The bottom line, who makes the most money should not be a competition or issue in marriage.

Do you have systems in place?
Every relationship should have systems in place to keep each other accountable and in check. I assure you that usually one person does not create all the debt in the relationship. Creating debt is usually a team effort. Because your money decisions and debt affects your spouse and loved ones, you should have a monitoring system that reviews your spending, debt, and investments each week.  

Do you have a spending plan?
Every couple should have a plan for how money is spent. If you don't, create a budget that gives you both some flexibility in spending, but also have rules in place. Whether it's an allowance, pocket money, or "crazy money" to spend make sure the amount is agreed upon and fair for both of you. Be flexible with your budget realizing that it is always under construction.

I believe the way to overcome money issues is to be completely honest about your current and future hopes and dreams. Talk openly about your money beliefs, budget, and any decisions that need to be made with money.  

How have you overcome money problems in your relationship?

Sharman Lawson a columnist on Fabulously40, and a financial coach, speaker, and author of the book 12 Steps to Eliminate Debt Forever!


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