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Hi everyone, the sun is shining (well it IS Spain!), and I’m feeling good today.  I’ve said my prayers and am ready to face the day and be productive, positive & motivated, and try my best to be loving and helpful towards all that cross my path happy

The people that owe me money have assured me that I will get it very soon, but whether they pay me or not it has been a valuable experience for me.  Overall I’m pleased with how the situation turned out (even now I’m badly out of pocket and am struggling to meet my rental payments).  Its shown me how much progress I have made in recovery because my reaction to the situation has been miraculously like that of a grown up woman and not a child estatic  

More and more I see that it is not what happens to me that is particulary relevant to my level of contentment in life - it is my REACTION that makes ALL the difference.

I was surprised to find myself reacting warmly and compassionately to these people. This came about because I make a point of praying for them each day - praying for all good things for them and for them to be happy, joyous and free.  This then completely freed me up from any resentment towards them and I was able to interact with them kindly and lovingly.  Their response was one of gratitude and relief and they appear to have a strong desire to get my money back to me as soon as they can. They are obviously under a lot of stress and at the end of the day they - like me - are only human, and we ALL make mistakes. . .  and it is not up to me to judge them or anyone else.

Each day I pray to be more understanding and tolerant of others . . .  and slowly but surely I am becoming the person I thought I would never be . . . and I like it . . . I like it a LOT happy

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Jul 31, 2010
    • Rachel, wow. What you’ve posted is so profound and the incredible thing is ... it works! What you describe - praying for them before seeing them; being non-judgmental toward them - I truly believe with you, that that’s the way to go. I also believe, even in practical terms, that because of your loving prayers and conscious non-resentment (did I just make up a word?), you will get your money back sooner.

      Thanks for sharing this part of your life with us.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nerissa wrote Aug 2, 2010
    • heart I am with U! It makes you feel lighter than air when you can live and allow others to live to without the confinement of judgement and negativity. Being tolerant and forgiving is what I strive to be and I am glad that you are on the “ride” with me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rachel Gordon wrote Aug 3, 2010
    • Thanks Suzann, I had so many resentments when I was an active alcoholic, but I didn’t even realise it! I just cannot afford to harbour resentments today as eventually it will lead me to drink.  I can’t get rid of them on my own - I always have to use prayer to be free of them.  I still get resentful and judgemental from time to time but luckily I can recognise it very quickly and take action on it.  My resentments only ever hurt me - it’s like taking poison and expecting the other person to die estatic

      Nerissa, I just love it when I’m “on the beam” spiritually and can face life free from resentment and judgement . . . . unfortunately it requires constant maintainance and if I slack off on my programme of recovery I can feel the weight of them crushing me all over again. Luckily it doesn’t take too much time and effort to get back on the beam again.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Aug 3, 2010
    • Rachel, I know what you mean about being without resentment requiring constant maintenance. It’s just so easy for our thoughts to drift over to fear and anger. I love your idea of starting each issue out with a prayer. Also, I’m doing  (or trying, anyway), to do a constant awareness thing, where I watch my thoughts and when the fear creeps in, acknowledge it and name it so it knows it’s been seen. It takes away some of fear’s power.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      J J wrote Aug 6, 2010
    • Rachel, this is a beautiful personal story. I love it. It also remind me that God gives us all an unique talent, and that talent is only through our unique path of life experiences. Now you have a powerful personal story that can be the inspiration to move people’s mind.

      Keep up to be your true self, and be happy.

      Love,

      Jennifer



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