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Staying in the day while going through a divorce is difficult. You know that life will never be as it once was, and you're still unsure what the future holds. So, it is not uncommon to start projecting about what your future could possibly look like.

I don’t know about you; but when I project I have a tendency to think about the negative possibilities rather than the positive ones. A dear friend of mine states, he is planning the wreckage of the future when he projects.

A woman I know was busy collecting boxes from friends so she could move. With her divorce still months from being completed she was certain that the kids, and her would need to move to another house. I knew that her husband had already moved out of the house so I asked why she was so certain.

She stated she wouldn’t be able to afford it; even though her husband was currently paying the mortgage. Her husband was committed to having their teenage kids remain in the house through high school and had full intentions of having that be part of the divorce settlement. So her reasoning to move just made no sense to me.

As we discussed it further we determined it was her fear of the future AFTER the kids left the house that was prompting her, just wanting to get it done now; realizing it would be 6 years before she needs to make this decision. She was allowing financial fear of the future to consume her today. Talking it through she came to the realization that she just needs to stay in TODAY and not worry about moving for at least another 5 years.

So what do you do when you find yourself getting all worked up about the future? Let me share some thoughts with you:

Ask yourself:
• Is there anything I can do today as a stepping stone for the future? Sometimes we freeze and don’t do anything which just continues to feed into our anxiety
• Who can I talk to about what I’m feeling and the situation to get an objective viewpoint?

It also helps to bring yourself back to the present. Closing your eyes for 5 minutes and listening to the sounds around you, or to the rhythm of your breathing, is something you can do wherever you may be...except for driving!

I personally find that exercising and really focusing on my exertion of muscles is a good way to get me in the moment. It seems that when I finish up 30 minutes of running or weight training I'm fully focused on what I am doing; my projecting goes away and I feel ALIVE in the moment.




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