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Bonding with YOUR daughter-in-law is an integral part of parenting. Discerning parents understand the importance of carefully maintaining healthy relationship not only with their adult children, but with their spouses as well. Today, most often, we find these relationships languishing and turning sour- - -especially relationships with one’s daughter-in-law. So, what can you do to bond with her?
For starters, tune you mindset. Keep in mind that your daughter-in-law has a need to ‘belong’ from the day she became a part of your family. Embrace and welcome her with open arms. The very fact that she and your son have entered into the sanctity of marriage, entitles her to have a special place in your heart. Adopting this attitude, could set the stage for simplifying the bonding process and perhaps, even aid in building a life-long relationship with your daughter-in-law.
* Here are some practical suggestions that could solidify the bond with your daughter-in-law:*
You as a loving parent can bring closeness, caring and understanding by what you do, say and behave towards your daughter-in-law. Unexpected acts of love and kindness could go a long way in strengthening the bonds of your relationship.
Accept your daughter-in-law as she is. After all, your son chose her to be his life’s partner; believe that she has some special qualities that drew your son to her. Avoid judging her or her family. Never belittle her accomplishments, however small you may think these to be.
Extend beyond yourself and reach out to communicate amicably your daughter-in-law. Show her in many different ways how important her role is in your family. Let her know that you’d like to spend more time getting to know her. This open intent will make her feel secure and comfortable in her relationship with you.
- Spend Time
Seek out opportunities to spend time together in mutaul enjoyment. You can begin by taking small steps and showing interest in her pursuits, her job and her family. There is no better gift you can give her than that of pure genuine interest.
Respect the choices your daughter-in-law makes pertaining to decisions of her home, her activities and especially in ways of raising your grandchildren. It is vital to gracefully accept these choices and refrain from blatantly criticizing her views, even if you do not agree with them.
It is important that you demonstrate understanding of your daughter-in-laws behavior, intentions and views. Misunderstandings can be created easily and can be the prime deterrent to a happy lifelong relationship. Be sensitive to her feelings at all times and in all situations. This brand of understanding will create a meaningful lifelong relationship with your daughter-in-law.
As the saying goes, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” Set aside your pride and be ready to forgive if your daughter-in-law has erred or hurt your feelings. Let go of grievances and grudges. Try eliciting cooperation with an open-ended dialogue and thinking more on the lines of “we” instead of “me” Do not indulge in “I’m right; you‘re wrong” attitude.
Maintaining a balanced approach is the key to building a lifelong bond with your daugher-in-law. It entails looking for a better way in every situation. Finding positive ways to appreciate your daughter-in-law, avoiding dispensable trivia and exercising discretion, can ensure a healthy, happy life-long relationship with your daughter-in-law.