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Bonding with YOUR daughter-in-law is an integral part of parenting. Discerning parents understand the importance of carefully maintaining healthy relationship not only with their adult children, but with their spouses as well. Today, most often, we find these relationships languishing and turning sour- - -especially relationships  with one’s daughter-in-law. So, what can you do to bond with her?  

  For starters, tune you mindset. Keep in mind that your daughter-in-law has a need to ‘belong’ from the day she became a part of your family. Embrace and welcome her with open arms. The very fact that she and your son have entered into the sanctity of marriage, entitles her to have a special place in your heart. Adopting this attitude, could set the stage for simplifying the bonding process and perhaps, even aid in building a life-long relationship with your daughter-in-law.  

 * Here are some practical suggestions that could solidify the bond with your daughter-in-law:*

 - Love

 You as a loving parent can bring closeness, caring and understanding by what you do, say and behave towards your daughter-in-law. Unexpected acts of love and kindness could go a long way in strengthening the bonds of your relationship.  

- Accept

Accept your daughter-in-law as she is. After all, your son chose her to be his life’s partner; believe that she has some special qualities that drew your son to her. Avoid judging her or her family. Never belittle her accomplishments, however small you may think these to be.  

- Communicate

Extend beyond yourself and reach out to communicate amicably your daughter-in-law. Show her in many different ways how important her role is in your family. Let her know that you’d like to spend more time getting to know her. This open intent will make her feel secure and comfortable in her relationship with you.  

- Spend Time  

Seek out opportunities to spend time together in mutaul enjoyment. You can begin by taking small steps and showing interest in her pursuits, her job and her family. There is no better gift you can give her than that of pure genuine interest.  

- Respect

Respect the choices your daughter-in-law makes pertaining to decisions of her home, her activities and especially in ways of raising your grandchildren. It is vital to gracefully accept these choices and refrain from blatantly criticizing her views, even if you do not agree with them.  

- Understand  

It is important that you demonstrate understanding of your daughter-in-laws behavior, intentions and views. Misunderstandings can be created easily and can be the prime deterrent to a happy lifelong relationship. Be sensitive to her feelings at all times and in all situations. This brand of understanding will create a meaningful lifelong relationship with your daughter-in-law.  

- Forgive

As the saying goes, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” Set aside your pride and be ready to forgive if your daughter-in-law has erred or hurt your feelings. Let go of grievances and grudges. Try eliciting cooperation with an open-ended dialogue and thinking more on the lines of “we” instead of “me” Do not indulge in “I’m right; you‘re wrong” attitude.  

- Conclusion  

Maintaining a balanced approach is the key to building a lifelong bond with your daugher-in-law. It entails looking for a better way in every situation. Finding positive ways to appreciate your daughter-in-law, avoiding dispensable trivia and exercising discretion, can ensure a healthy, happy life-long relationship with your daughter-in-law.

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Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Hello Fabulous Folks!

      As parents, I am sure you understand the importance of maintaining fruitful relationships, not only with your adult children, but more importantly with their spouses as well.

      If you haven’t given this matter your careful consideration, do take time to read this article. Perhaps from your own personal experience , you could add a thing or two for the benefit of our readers.

      So, do go ahead and share your views with all the Fabulous Parents here.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Let’s just say my MIL could use many lessons on this.frown

      I hope to be the mil like my mom to my hubby. I told my hubby if I ever treat my kids s/o badly... stop me so I can check myself.estatic



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • I have been fortunate with both of my MIL’s. These are great pointers and worthy to keep in mind for when I become a MIL. In spite of my efforts I’m sure both my daughters and my step son will all marry. So its nice to know the rules of playing nice.

      Vikki
      You can do anything!

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 8, 2011
    • I am a M-I-L. My D-I-L and Son live in ARKANSAS so I unfortunately havent gotten to spend a whole lot of time with them. Not sure where to begin...



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 13, 2011
    • @mztracy

      Well, wish your MIL COULD read the above article. Why not invite her as a member here?

      Don’t you worry dear; I’m sure you’ll follow your mother’s footsteps.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 13, 2011
    • @vikki89

      Thanks for your visit & compliment. Being a sweet lady that you are, I’m sure you’ll be a great MIL.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 13, 2011
    • @jenz41

      Well, some folks might say you are licky  - - not having to deal with an issue that could cause you some distress.

      However, I would say, that in today’s times, you can still maintain a great relationship despite the distance between you.

      Do they visit during Thanksgiving Holiday?

      Wish you could get to know her better; you never know!

      Good Luck!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Mar 13, 2011
    • My MIL was the best, loved her like a Mom! She past away a couple of years ago from complications from diabetes, I miss her everyday. She said I was the daughter she never had. I hope when I have a DIL, that I can be close to her as well. DO you have any tips on how to become closer to a son in law? Im new to this.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Mar 14, 2011
    • My MIL was nice too.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 14, 2011
    • @dianne407

      Hi Dianne!
      I am so glad to hear that. This means you were a great daughter-in-law too! Kudos!

      Now about bonding with your son-in-law, I would simply say: make him feel welcome in your family and treat him with respect. Take time to get to know him better and think of ways to spend quality time together with both your daughter & her husband. And vola!You will soon find that he adores you.

      Good Luck!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 14, 2011
    • @catfan

      Hi Anne!
      Thank You for the visit.

      I am so glad that you had an excellent MIL. But I must ask you to share the secret: what made her bond with you so closely? You sure must have done several things right. Kudos to you as well.
      May your tribe increase.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 14, 2011
    • Not inviting her here. I need a ‘safe’ place!! estatic



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Gool Bugwadia wrote Mar 14, 2011
    • You made me smile understandably!



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