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For many women entering their forties, it is a time to start relaxing and enjoying the fruits of all their efforts. Most who have children have either sent them off to college or are nearing that stage.

They are more financially established and start thinking traveling to places that they always dreamed of with their husband Suddenly, their world falls apart and they find themselves divorced and dating again.

Dating is definitely not the same as it was twenty years ago. It is not even remotely similar to that of ten years ago. The reason for this is the internet.  

One of the first things newly single women tend to do today  is to browse through dating profiles to see what is out there. It is overwhelmingly a temptation to see what they have been missing all those years. If she is not careful, a woman can be in for huge heartbreak and a bitter feeling about dating and men.

The one advantage women in their forties have is their maturity. The downside is that she has probably been sheltered for the past fifteen or twenty years, if not longer. She may not have ever dated anyone other than her high school sweetheart. There could be surprises in store for her that she had not anticipated.

Online Dating has many benefits. There is such variety that is seemingly endless. The flip side to that is that many men cannot get over that feeling of being a “kid in a candy store“. Many guys are happy to be free and dating several people. Especially if they are just out of a long marriage.

Women tend to be nesters and settle in with one person. They often stop dating and remove their dating profiles after they meet “the guy of their dreams“. Or so they thought.

Men tend to keep their profiles active until they have played for awhile and normally keep it up for awhile even after entering a relationship. That is where the conflict arise.

The difference seems to be that men don’t stop looking until they are completely sure they have found the “one” and women normally stop when they find someone who “seems” nice.  

The result is often not a successful match and both parties keep on looking. Most dates from the internet do not end up in long term relationships. To reach that point, both parties have to be in the same mindset about relationships, their attraction for each other and whether they feel that person is worth the time it takes to invest in a healthy relationship.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Katie O'Neill wrote Mar 19, 2009
    • I think your advice is solid.  I am one of the lucky ones who utilized an internet “match” service and have to say, without it, trying to meet and date men would have been much harder.  Fortunately my now fiance and I were on the same page, at the same place in our lives and were looking for the same things.  I definitely dated a few men who were obviously just taking a look at what was available.  You can usually identify ‘that guy’ fairly soon on in the dating process.  I think internet introductions are a fun, safe way to meet people.  Always meet someone in a very public place and more than once before you invite him over to your place or go to his!  One thing I noticed in dating, was the men who were just ‘trolling’ never wanted to talk about their families and friends.  The ones who were serious always wanted to talk about family, etc.
      Anyway, I found the right man this time around and what’s really nice about the whole thing is we are both older, wiser, maturer, know what we don’t want and are in no hurry to rush the process...

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allsinglesmeet wrote Mar 19, 2009
    • Great for you!! I am still looking! It took me a lot of heart ache to finally get smart!! I really try to help people NOT make the mistakes that I did. I will post more about my own experiences in coming weeks. I could fill a book!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mira66 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • Thanks for the great advice!
      I’ve found in my own internet dating experience most men treat internet dating like a catolog of women they can order from. Very few men were what they said they were in their profiles. I never knew what to expect because most men didn’t even look like their profile pictures. I’ve since decided to take a break from internet dating because I was becoming seriously jaded by the process of it. But my life is so busy it seems it’s the only way I can meet someone.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mira66 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • To greenirishgrl:
      It’s so nice to hear that someone has had great success with internet dating. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me some hope.

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