Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.


I’m curious what people have to say about boys not sharing information. I have an almost 14 year old. Lovely warm sweet and overly sensitive child. He mostly tries to keep everything in: physical pains, emotional pain. As a child he was a bit of a hypochodriac. Not I figure out that he was a cry for attention since he’s the first of three, fairly close together. But now, although there is no animosity between the two of us, he barely tells me a thing. And some of this information is important! (Such as teachers’ meetings, etc.). He is super super smart. Not a trouble maker at all..but still....who the heck knows what is going on inside? I do know that he tears up easily (watery eyes) and then tries to stifle it. Have we destroyed the chance for our boys to express themselves? I’m reading REAL BOYS, a book written by psychologists who have studied the way boys’ emotional development is stifled from very early on, at the moment and hoping it will over some insights.



  •  

Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • My son in 18 and he is a talker
      At 15, he talked to his friends often
      and to us, not much
      Then came a time, suggested by the therapist
      we need to set a time all sit together,
      no phone, no TV, nothing on the table
      We then glued onto the chair, till the 10 mins timer buzzed.
      1st was the longest 10 mins and it was dead silence
      we did not know where to start or what to say
      then another day another 10 mins
      we could not stand the silence
      and started to talk
      sometimes it could end up with an argument
      or just meals for some sort
      Again, no one could only leave the table
      until that alarm buzzed and stopped.
      Then later as we practiced
      we ran out of time
      and had to increased to 15 mins max
      But don’t push your luck to try more mins
      then they will back off and shut up
      Best not to talk about his schools or friends
      and let him bring that up.
      We started with our day and go from there.

      Now look who is talking
      though I know he would not tell me EVERYTHING
      at least he knows we are here for him
      and amazingly, he called me out once and said “Mommy, I like to
      SHOOT THE BREEZE!”

      Good luck and prayers to you and your family.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Caroline Igra wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I don’t know if it’s gender specific. My second son didn’t talk to anyone for about 5 years and hasn’t shut up since! He is always filling me in on what’s going on in school, etcetera. I DID get a hint from the big one that he knows that I have friends and live in a small community and felt like things got back to him...that it was wiser not to share with mommy. But I mended my ways about a year or two ago and I think he trusts me not to spread the word at this point. ANOTHER tip was that he used to be called a blabber, or tattle tale in 4th grade and that was awful for him. Now he seems tied up in knots.
      But I appreciate the thoughts..I love the idea of the table community. Actually he almost always DOES speak when we‘re seated at the table..kind of our local house community center! And of course just not pushing but kind of reading the signs.
      My daughter is willing to tell all if I ask but she kind of keeps it to herself as well. As far as I can tell girls are more open...but in terms of emotional strength, sharing. WHO KNOWS!!!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I have two step-sons (we don’t use the term in our house though) and they are pretty open with me..more so than with their dad right now...especially our 13 yr old..He seems to be more and more attached to me with each passing day...I’ve talked to him about sex (the triple wrap deal) and he’s pretty open to discussions...I try to meet them on their level and not make the conversations so serious, even though the topic is serious..But they open up more if they don’t feel like they‘re being lectured..Now there are times when a lecture is needed, like if they mess up or something, but I try to be as light on all of our children as possible...



            Report  Reply


About this author View Blog » 
author