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So you turned 40, and before you knew it, another year flew by and you're approaching your next birthday.

As you look in the mirror, you notice that the years are making their statement, loud and clear. The skin no longer appears like you just turned 25, and the pounds are creeping in faster then you can chew. Having this daily enlightenment in front of the mirror can trigger a big depression. However, if you look from the other perspective you can (and should) take a totally different approach.

Yes, as my friend has bluntly pointed out, the years are marching all over my face, and probably yours. My reply to that is, so what?! Haven't we earned every wrinkle?

Every muscle that is a bit loose still holds our facial expressions extremely well. So if the skin sags a little, it's no big deal. When we were younger, it was a painful experience removing zits and getting lectured on the evils of sugar. Now we get to enjoy relaxing facial massages and soothing cleansing masks.

Of course, sugar is still our enemy, and is now accompanied by a host of starches that don't belong in our diets. And alcohol seems to have more of a negative impact on our brains and bodies than it used to, so we should probably leave that behind as well.

On the other hand, an army of plastic sergeants eagerly awaits the opportunity cut into our skin, inject us with rat poison, and lipo fat from places we didn't even know existed. And for the privilege of looking a few years younger, we get to pay for their services like a mortgage amortized over 30 years. Is that a deal or what!

For the disciplined, there are health clubs within walking distance of each other, preaching nutrition, exercise, aerobics and weight lifting. There are hordes of personal trainers standing by, who are more than willing (for a fee) to listen to us bitch and moan the whole hour on the exercise bike or treadmill.

And there are creams, made with exotic ingredients, for every possible situation. There are special inventions to lift your eyes, neck, breast and anything else you might think of. There are even bathing suits guaranteed to make you look 10 pounds lighter.

Today's fashions allow us to wear just about anything, but let's not get carried away and make fools of ourselves. It is not okay for a 40+ woman to wear a short miniskirt and think she looks "hot." Remember—everything in moderation (and I don't care how good your legs look!).

Fabulously40 women today are at their best. Many of us tackle new careers, run marathons and date men 15 years younger. Heck, some of us are even having kids for the first time. Regardless of the circumstances, this is our time to realize that lines on our face do not make us older, they make us stronger!

No longer do we have to buy into preconceived notions about getting older. We can be verbal about our true feelings, we can conquer any challenge, and we know that if we lasted this long, we can do just about anything. We don't have to work harder, just smarter.

We do, however, need to remind ourselves that after 40 it's all about us. This is our time to be "high maintenance." As long as we allow ourselves to be just a bit more self-centered, as long as we stay focused on being positive, and as long as we try to love ourselves more than anyone else does, self-esteem will not be an issue, no matter how many wrinkles keep showing up in the mirror.

Gravity can take it's toll as long as we have ways to lift us up will be okay



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Wolf wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • I can honestly say I am proud to be 47, turning 48 this spring.  I would not want to be 20 again for anything!
      I can deal with the wrinkles, but the day I find that mustache, I’m calling my local laser hair removal place to get that taken care of.  Wrinkles-ok, looking like my husband-I DON‘T THINK SO!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • To me honest Yana, this site has helped me tremendously in this area.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • Yana, you are a genius for having helped develop this site. I have always been who I am now! I’ve earned my gray hair & my wrinkles but I also know that it’s now my time!  My sons are grown- I raised them for life beyond ME! I love this site! To tell the truth, I found it just in time. I’m stronger in my mind but not my body- that can’t be helped but so much. I no longer believe that I am alone or am the only one who has issues w/ certain matters that come w/ our age. And I proudly tell everyone that this October I’ll be 50!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • Yana,
      This was a great post! I am 44.5 and am loving my life now more than ever. There is no amount of youth or age reversal that you could offer me to go back.
      It is about me now and my happiness and what I like, want, need and desire. It’s not selfish! It’s just being fabulously 40 and beyond.....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gay wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • I am 53 and proud to still be in good health. I have always taken care of myself and have always watched most everything I eat. I think that what you eat really does affect you health. I am glad to share this website with other woman who can relate to the age thing. I will soon be 54 and proud of it. I can honestly say that now is the best time of my life.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • What makes us even more fabulous is the fact that we are old enough to know what we want, and young enough to do something about  it.

      Cheers To All Of My Fabulous Gals!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • Inspiring for me since I just noticed some new lines the other day!  TY Yana!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • Thanks, Yana, for the great post. Women in their 40’s have so much going for them it’s unbelievable. And then to have a place like this to share with one another it just makes the whole thing that much better!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maria68 wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • Thank you Yana for this network of friends. I am turning 41 this April and I feel like it is a rebirth of my soul. For the first time, I am loving me unconditionally and living my life under my terms.

      Thank you again.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Francoise wrote Jan 28, 2009
    • this is a great post! I agree more and more women over 40 are looking better every day! I turned 50 last summer and I am having the best time and my life is just beginning. I am turning the page on the old me!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bluerose wrote Jan 29, 2009
    • Amen!

      I turned 41 last month.  A very sweet friend/co-worker decorated my office with streamers.  When co-workers stopped by they’d wish me a Happy Birthday.  I told them my age.  They looked at me with a blank stare.  “You can’t be that old.”  It was very uplifting to learn that most people thought I was in my mid-30s.  Thank goodness for Oil of Olay & Fab40!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Catndhat wrote Jan 29, 2009
    • I so appreciate a voice for women who advocates good health, perseverence and a positive outlook. It almost seems ludicrous to me that even after reaching 40, I still take pause when I see an airbrushed ad that makes me question whether I look as good as I should.

      I can’t tell my friends and loved ones enough that it’s what you are to a person that they will be grateful for, not how you look. Your looks aren’t going to help a friend who is sick or experiencing a great loss. Your compassion and empathy will, though.  

      I have a two-year-old daughter, and she is really lovely, if I do say so myself! estatic As her mom, I feel it's my duty to instill in her that while external beauty may bring flattery and boost your ego a bit, it does not sustain. Especially if there is no inner beauty, what I call real  love, inside to complement outer beauty. My daughter always tells me she's a princess, and I tell her that while being princess has its priveleges it also comes with great responsibility, including helping those truly in need, and being an ambassador for something greater than the individual. Heady stuff for a two-year-old, I know! So we play dress-up and learn together!

      Real beauty comes from the experiences and wisdom of living life fully and sharing that with others. It’s in the very depth of one’s eyes, and cannot be defined or constrained by the “right” shade of lipstick or whether or not there are extra wrinkles where there once were none.

      So, I believe the real pursuit should be in doing the things that will help prolong our existence here, so we can be around to share all that wonderful experience and wisdom with each other - eat well, get plenty of rest and “me” time when you need it, do what you can to keep your heart and body strong and your mind agile. Be well, be happy and love your family and friends.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brneyez85 wrote Jan 29, 2009
    • Thank you.  I need to meditate on this one.  Whew!  

      I’m thankful to be alive and enjoying life, but I can get discouraged after looking in the mirror.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote Jan 29, 2009
    • I have never been prouder to be my age than right now.  I am never embarrassed to tell anyone how old I am...my 50’s have been the most excellent, significant and successful in my life.  I turn 53 this year and the abundance just keeps on coming!happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cat Valentine wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • I wish that I could feel like most of the other ladies on this subject! But, as an entertainer, singer/musician, I have to compete! I have spent $30,000 on plastic sugeries!When something cropped up I fixed it immediately. Plus I work out like crazy and eat very well. Not much alcohol either.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Onevision wrote Jan 31, 2009
    • I love my self confidence at this age. I love being an expert at work. I don’t want to be 20 again mentally, but I’d sure take that body back!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ofacertainage09 wrote Feb 2, 2009
    • I hope my self worth is tied to more than my face...or my age...

      I am dumping Botox due to the economy. I used to get such a lift from it, but now, I’m wondering why I really thought I needed it. It’s not like it’s going to stop me from dying or anything!

      I like lines on a woman’s face. Look at Lauren Hutton on the cover of J.Crew! She is radiant and has a whole roadmap of lines on her face. It’s beautiful.

      Yana, I just “met” Colette and she sent me over here, would love to do some guest writing for your site. I’m at www.karen-ofacertainage.blogspot.com.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rainbowsend wrote Feb 7, 2009
    • I am 58 years old and in ‘incredible’ shape - I changed my entire lifestyle 7 years ago - lost weight, daily cardio and strength training, un-processed food - I feel fantastic.  My face? well I really don’t mind the wrinkles - I will continue to judge my ‘youth’ by whether I can run to town (20kms) for breakfast.  PEACE



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