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Someone typed that into the Google window on their way to finding this blog and I couldn't resist!

Why in the world would you want to make your man miserable anyway? The answer may surprise you!

If your relationship is taking on water and you are bailing as hard as you can to stay afloat, there are some things you can do to get him to share some of the work.

Women complain that "He just sits on the couch and tunes me out."

Then they tell their circle of friends all about it and what do you know....everyone jumps in and before you know it, you have each described your man's weaknesses and bad habits heavily laced with mean spirited emotion.

Ladies, READ THIS CAREFULLY, the way to make your man miserable is to make yourself ecstatic!

Once he is left with his own grumpy self and can't fling it at you, he just might start picking up the slack.

I know, I know, I can hear you: "But it isn't fair....HE is causing all of the problems. If HE would get up off the couch and fix a few things around here, I wouldn't be so stressed. Why should I do the changing when HE is the problem."

Whenever you are talking more about him than yourself, you are in the PERFECT PLACE to make a radical shift in how you operate. Try these 5 ideas and see if you can rock your relationship world out of miserable and into restore mode:

1. When he is being a grump, go for a walk. A long one. Plug in your Ipod and listen to your favorite music and kick it into gear. Leave him alone with himself and refresh your mind and spirit!

2. If he is buried in his newspaper and not listening to you, light the corner of his paper with a match.....no, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT, even if you want to. Ask him to put the paper down and set a time for you to check in with each other. Tell him that you want to engage with him for 10 minutes and then stick to it!

3. If he is defensive, disarm him. You know him best. You know what buttons he is sensitive to. Find something to compliment him about and say, "I want to feel closer to you and I don't know how."

4. Plan a candle light dinner to celebrate yourselves. No matter what, you are together for a reason and a little night music with candles is always appreciated. Reminisce over your first couple of dates and ask him, "Wouldn't it be nice if we went back to one of those places?"

5. Write him a long letter. One that is NEVER TO BE SENT. Write to his best self, the boy he was and still is...maybe deeply guarded and overwhelmed. Tell him your hopes and dreams for each other. Write in detail and let yourself empty your heart of what you long to say. If you do this everyday for a week...you will be stunned at the change.

Lastly.....STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM, period. Words are powerful. More powerful than we give them credit for. If you wouldn't say it in front of him....DON'T SAY IT!

Will he be miserable really? Who knows. If you change radically how you handle your disappointments in the relationship, at least it will be a fresh playing field. He may not know quite how to manage the new game but if your are supposed to be together, you will see signs that your work is paying off!

Once you follow these five steps, you will feel amazing! You will unload your backed up feelings safely and the rush of creative energy will show you that you are on the right track!  Besides, you will remember why you fell in love with him in the first place!



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